The cleanse

This year sucked. Plain and simple. 9 months of constantly adjusting took so much out of me. And I did a lot of it under a bevy of disharmony. I refuse to live like this anymore. So it's time to put an end to all of the stress I'm still carrying with me. So here is my final vent on last year. This is meant to cleanse my mind so i can move on. I'll be taking care of cleansing my soul and body later.
In college, i took a psychology course from a teacher that really knew her stuff. I loved the class. It was supposed to be difficult, but it seemed to click and i pulled out some of the top test scores. Of course, I passed the class with a C- due to the fact that i 100% forgot about the midterm paper. The day we turned them in, I was looking around going "Oh Crap!" with nothing in my hands but air.
In the class, one thing i remember was Maslow's Hierarchy.
Basically, if you think of it like an actual structure...each level is only as stable as the one below it. And if your foundation, (food, water, shelter, the essentials for life) is constantly in flux, so is the rest of your life. It turns into a game of Jenga; how long till the pieces fall apart? For instance: the last time i did something creative, was in November. Before all of this nightmare started; when i didn't know where i would be living at the end of every month, or who with, or if Katherine would actually pay her rent.

I know that i'm tired of comparing Kelsie and Katherine. Yet can't seem to stop. I'm hoping that getting all of it out of my head will help.

The final paperwork has been dealt with and hopefully will not pop it's ugly head up again. I truly hope to never hear from Katherine again. I'm not really sure why the numbers in the end played out the way they did, but I'm not complaining :-) It left me with a returned check for the last 8 days, and Katherine didn't get her old roommate's half of the original deposit. I feel like for the first time, justice prevailed.

I find myself, living again with someone whom I barely know and have no basis for trust. And despite all signs pointing to "You can trust Kelsie" my rational side still remains conservative. Both of us lived alone for a while and got used to the freedoms and liberties that comes with having absolute control over your domicile. Now again, we have to remember to compromise and communicate. While so far, the friction we have experienced has been barely perceptible, I can't help but look back at how i felt living with Katherine.

I thought I could trust her too. I thought she was too nice to try and screw me over. She promised me that I could treat the apartment as though it was half mine. Yet my normal habits became a matter of contention. I wasn't able to fold the couch blanket JUST right. I didn't leave the sliding door open enough for her cat to get out in the dead of winter when there was 10 inches of snow on the porch and the cat looked at her like "yeah, right, me? get my feet cold? i think not!" I tried to be compromising, but ended up all but barricaded in my room. Everything became a discussion which was basically her telling me how it was going to be. To which I ignored and continued to behave in a reasonably courteous manner.

With Kelsie, she seems to be less rigid and more open to merging our belongings. I didn't find myself with all of my stuff left stored at my parents house. This isn't to say that things might not change, but I'm trying to remain optimistic. And while she no doubt was there first, I haven't run into the mass amounts of opposition at simple changes so far. Mostly the change was necessary because she's a good deal taller than I am.

Dealing with Katherine always seemed to be an endless downward spiral. Yet i seem to have found the end of the string. I rode the emotional and mentally exhausting roller coaster rides, I held on to my convictions and now i sit, holding that metaphorical string end in my hands unable to let go because of how wronged my emotional side felt. So it's time to analyze with my rational side.

• Basics: Food was never an issue, my parents always say if you leave our house hungry, it's your own fault. Water, also never an issue. I have shelter and i know where I'll be living at the end of the month. I don't think i can accurately convey how much of a relief that simple fact is.
• Safety: I've lived with Kelsie for nearly 2 months. She has given me no reason to doubt that her portion of the rent will be paid on time. And we have a written agreement which protects both of us should something happen. Our place is in an overall safe city, safe part of town and there really is only one point of entry which we are both vigilant in locking up.
• Belonging: I have some great friends, some good friends, and some ok friends, but at least i have you all. Love has not really entered my life this last year but maybe that Jenga piece will fall back into place as soon as I'm ready.
• Esteem: All i can say is that i'm happy and proud to be standing on the other side of the downward spiral...because it goes back up from here.
• Self-Actualization: This is what a lot of people refer to as feeding your soul. I haven't been able to draw, paint, sculpt, write, or create for so long. There was too much stress or fatigue or my own schedule in the way. And it's the part of me that i missed the most. It's part of what defines me, and makes me happy.
  

The only way to recapture who I am is to let go of this pitiful thread of the past and pick up a paintbrush or a pencil instead. I think at this point, the paintbrush is looking more appealing.

Good grief, what a whirlwind

So many things to update. Be prepared for a long post.

Biggest update; I'M MOVED IN!!! to the most gorgeous apartment ever with a hands down awesome roommate who sings in the car with me! It can't get better than this! Down to folding residual laundry and going through papers and I'll have my life back. Now if only i could get Auto-piolet to turn off when going home from work....

Also; my aunt is in town from New York this week with my cousin Mikey, so it's been a insane roller coaster ride of food, walking around, shopping, and more commonly yelling, squabbling, and accents so thick, sometimes you can't understand them. We totally seem like the dysfunctional east coast family but we're as thick as thieves and i love it.
We've done tours of downtown Seattle, predominantly Pike Place Market. She loves the vendors and all the interesting things to see. We all ended up with a bunch of interesting knick knacks. After that it was marathon shopping. My feet were singing a unhappy tune by the end of the day. My aunt and sister think i'm the odd one because I ended up buying one shirt throughout the whole day.
And no matter what else happens that day, I love hearing my aunt squak when I grab the check out of her hands for dinner and grin at her no matter how much she protests. She hasn't quite gotten the point that I'm not going to let her pay while she's on vacation.

One of the best parts about Aunt Maria coming into town, is that my work-aholic dad is all but forced to stop working at the island and we're all able to actually enjoy it for an entire day. I invited Kelsie down on Sunday for the BBQ and we spent the greater majority of it in the water. I raise my glass to itallian blood which doesn't let me burn in the sunlight. And to STILL being the only person who hasn't been knocked off of the inner-tube with our boat despite the newer and much more powerful motor.

Katherine, the incessent sore in my side, will soon be gone. I discovered that it doesn't appear that i paid a deposit when i moved in. So i went and did nothing more than a courtesy cleaning and left. I wiped down everything and vacuumed. That was it. Today, i gathered the last bit of my mail, put a vacant notice in the mailbox, turned in my keys and last little bit of rent that I owe. I'm done with that place. The only interaction remaining with Katherine and I is signing the deposit refund (if there even is one since i didn't bother to patch the tiny holes i did make) and sending it off her way.
Before you get your panties in a twist over that, let me explain something real quick that i learned. Katherine and her first roommate at this place, went in half-sies on the 400 deposit. When the first roommate left, she never got the deposit back. And the second roommate and myself never paid one. So no matter what, Katherine is getting back more money that she put in. So if there's some deductions, i want them to be out of that extra she's trying to get her greedy little hands on.

It's been a hard lesson to learn this past year. And i'm not so naieve as to think it's one i'll never have to experiance again.

Katherine's actions truely have had serious effect on me, my spirit, and my bank account over the last 8 months. I've had a stress knot on my shoulder, i've cried more often than ever before and i was forced to dip into my savings thanks to her. I spend hours going back and forth about wanting to write her a letter and enclose it with the final deposit check detailing her infractions, and letting her know once and for all exactly what i think of her.
As always, my two sides are making very good arguments:

• I need closure
• It's not worth my time and effort
• She's so naieve that maybe it's high time someone told her off
• Who cares? she's not my problem anymore
• I don't want her thinking that we're still friends or even friendly
• You can also just block her emails and phone calls
• I need to vent off all this frustration on the right target
• Never put anything in writing that which you wouldn't let Grandma read
• All my younger friends seem to think this is a good idea
• All my older friends/mentors don't think this is a good idea.
  
• I hate her
• Emotion has no place in a business relationship.

I still don't know what i'm going to do at this point. At the very least i'm sure that a letter is going to get written. It's more of whether it goes in the mail or gets burned, that's in question now.

Other updates include:

• Happy birthday to my friend Colin.
• I need to stop burning the candle at both ends
• Getting the internet to work at my new place should NOT be like pulling teeth
• and I'm trying to plan on going to New York over laborday weekend.
  

Update: Living situation

Since...oh about FEBRUARY!!!!!! I have spent the great majority of my posts on rants about my "ex"-roommate and pleading that something will finally fall into place so I don't have to deal with this anymore.
Well, finally something has finally gone right and i feel better about this update than I have about any others before.
I posted an Ad for myself on Craigslist, hoping to find someone else who was looking for a roommate to go find a new place together. Mostly to avoid the "Seniority Mentality" that i ran into with Katherine.
All too soon, the responses started rolling in. There were several jewels this time, people and places that seemed too good to be true, until i found out the catches. (300$ worth of utilities? I don't think so!) and of course the people who can barely speak English, let alone type coherent emails.

But one stuck out most of all. Basically what caught my attention was the fact that she was exceedingly specific but somehow managed to make it seem like she was still a human being. So we began the obligatory talks and next thing i know, I'm sitting across from a blond mirror of myself. Friendly, talkative, but still mature and responsible. 3 hours later I finally managed to leave and for the first time felt like i had a form of kinship with her.
We have had almost the exact same scenario play out. The roommates lost their jobs, wouldn't look too hard to get a job, ONLY wanted to be a nanny, were lazy and we basically had to force them to continue to pay rent, and finally just disappeared back to their parent's home without so much as a goodbye.
And if anything, our experiences have made sure we know to cover our butts for the future. What i really like about her is that when i start talking contracts...she doesn't take it as a personal attack, but more like a good idea in that we don't really know each other and until we do, it best to treat this like a business arrangement.
I have accepted, and she has agreed. We are meeting again on thursday to discuss specifics.

On the plus side of this:

• at this rent rate, it means i can still take a trip to New York AND afford my new and much needed laptop!
• All stainless in the kitchen *drool*
• Still in Redmond near enough to work and friends, instead of way the bloody hell out in Kirkland
  
• Washer and dryer *jumping for joy*
• and i can walk through my closet to my bathroom and the bathroom is HUGE!
• And last but not least, i can start to move in right away.
  

My one unfortunate circumstance is that my couch would need to go into storage. My wonderful, comfortable, Red Couch of Awesomeness.

Oh and that next I get to negotiate the return deposit amount with Katherine. Fun times *sarcasm*

*raises water bottle* Here's to moving pains.

Oh, guess what...more roommate searching

Yup, it's that time again...just when i had started getting comfortable again...the need to find a roommate comes up again.
I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally. I really just want the situation figured out and to not change.
I know that the only way to do that is to depend on myself alone.
Yet i have yet to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or the hand of Midas. Better know as, I'm a low income twenty-something that has to make compromises in a city where you need moderately-high income to live comfortably.
So back to the roommate search....again.
I've been looking for a roommate steadily since December! the first time Katherine threw the "I'm moving out and you have to find someone to replace me" nonsense in my face.
Of the 47 people i've physically interviewed, there's still only 1 that i truely wish things had worked out.
Maybe i'm picky....maybe i just don't want to take chances, maybe i put off a vibe that makes people uneasy. I don't know....but all i've found is people who there is no way in hell i would live with willingly.
How has this become the norm for late teenagers and early 20 somethings?
To brag about your illegal behavior to a complete stranger then expect them to not turn you in
To not even fully read the post people take the time to write and ask questions to which the answers have already been given.
To show up 3 hours late and demand to be given an audiance anyway
To show up drunk and high
To lewdly make suggestions to your potential roommate thinking she'll just fall for you and let you move in free of rent

Seriously...all of these I have experianced. I've been shaking my head vigorously for 7 months. It's gone beyond frustrating to downright draining.

While i'm sorry for Katherine that things haven't worked out according to plan and she's been stuck with the apartment, i can't bring myself to feel any kind of remorse that i didn't accept the first person who wanted to move in to get her off the lease. I had to watch out for myself.
Business is business.

Here's to the hopes that something will start to go right soon.

Catch up = 3.75 hours

This is a bit of a rambling post, but to sum up:

Morganne's application was denied so she's not able to be my roommate. Quite a bummer since i think she and i would get along really well. I'm back to the drawing board...again.

I have been very very sick since about Saturday midday. Starting out as a headache that would just NOT go away, soon i was barely able to get off the couch to open the door. My fever of about 103, (i'm guessing because i don't have a thermometer or a mother's calibrated hand, but i had some minor hallucinations) finally broke Monday morning, only to be replaced with another one Monday night. My mom showed up to just drop off soup and proceeded to force feed it me and make me drink about a gallon of water. And i slept soundly all day and all night long. I pulled a half day on Monday, another half day Wednesday, and finally made it into work for a mostly full day thus far. And for the week, i managed to catch up in about 3.75 hours. And now i'm sitting waiting for the axe to fall.
I also completely lost my voice on tuesday, which was quite a pickle since i really needed to talk to Katherine. As it turns out, typing 70wpm has some uses, like dictating my response to her. We think we've worked out a plan for how to deal with the living situation and it's current status of unaceptable. While i don't believe her financial status is any of my business, when it affects me, i don't tolerate being lied to very well. I was told "i can't afford to pay march". Now i hear "it would be a bummer but we could pay through the end of the lease". I was less than calm to hear that, since our lease is up in august. But never fear,

The art of negotiation is letting everyone else have your way

Adventures in Roommate Searching

A situation that pretty much everyone can relate to from some point in their lives: Finding a roommate.
The only people I believe that are spared from this..."adventure"... are those who are financially able to live on their own right away after leaving their parent's keep (koodos), or those who never leave their parent's keep.
I was careful enough with my money when i was younger in order to fit into the former, and my parents made sure i would never, ever want to live with them for the rest of my life. So as i realized my college era was ending, i found a roommate and moved out. It was a pleasant six months, with an underlying stress that steadily grew until it exploded and I was forced to look for another roommate.
I put up an ad on craigslist and roommates.com and considering my complex is amazing, queries started pouring in. I forced myself to meet with anyone who fit my three main criteria: Female, Non smoker, financially able to afford the place.
So far i have been able to classify them into four categories:

1) The students: these are the ones who are pulling part time jobs and taking classes or are running solely on student loans and somehow have deluded themselves that they can afford to live with me.

These include:
The 19 year old who didn't know what utilities were much less that they were extra over rent,
The one who showed up 3 hours late and expected me to say yes because she was so awesome,
The ones who asked me if i was 420 friendly (i adamantly am not and turned their names over to the police department),
And the one who brought her bum ass boyfriend with her asking if he could essentially live with us (overnight guests are one thing, this was another)

2) The Not Impressed: The ones who walk through the door and you can visibly watch their faces fall, then they sit and half heartedly get to know you for some odd reason. Then they get up and leave and don't have the decency to tell you they're not interested.

These include:
the 28 year old who decided that she would rather live on her own
the snob...there's no other way to describe her manerisms
and the one who told me yes and then the next day told me about a much better apartment she found for 100$ more

3) The Robots: The ones who come and are as stiff as a board acting like they are in a job interview with donald trump, sit precariously on the edge of the couch and deliver pre-memorized, full fledged, complete sentence, answers to something as simple as "what are your hobbies". They are unable to carry a conversation unless it is a question - answer form.

These include:
the 'afraid to sit on anything' girl
the 'terrified 18 year old'
the 'all but silent' one who stared at me waiting for the next question.
and 'one who couldn't STOP selling herself' to me about why this appartment would be perfect for her.

4) The Potentials: These are the ones whom after speaking with them, I wanted them to move in. However in 3 out of 4 instances, they ended up saying no to me for various reasons:

one got a surprise engagement
one's boyfriend put an offer on a house and she figured she would be living with him more than at the apartment
the one whom i can only describe as fung shui, incense burning, mandala fan whom i later found out was a smoker and then said no to
and the most recent who has a very well behaved dog and i get along great with.

I have two more people to meet with tomorrow. I've had a stressful February and I'm done. I fully intend to make a decision by Sunday and be done with it all. I'm ready to know the answer to what will happen as of March 1 and just get it over with.

Dear Soon to be Ex-Roommate

This is a vent or perhaps a guide for when leaving an apartment, All things included in here are what I believe to be common sense when exiting an apartment and not unreasonable expectations especially considering that someone will be continuing to live in that area after you leave. I hope you will read through this and realize how frustrating some of your behaviors have been to me and that we can come to a mutually agreable solution. This is also known as not being an oblivious blockhead. I have detailed some of your more grevious infractions below.



1) Stop with the Katherine Pitty Parties. I don't buy into them anymore. I know perfectly well that you were still sound asleep most days out of a week at noon when i came home for lunch. I also know that when i got home at 5, you were watching tv untill 2 or so in the morning. You could have gotten A JOB, ANY JOB to pay your bills. Instead, for 6 months, you decided to sit around like a lump and go to a couple interviews for the one KIND of job you felt like. By the end of the second month, you should have gotten some kind of minimum wage job, as a grocery store clerk, or waiting tables or something instead of letting mommy and daddy pay for you for six months. I have never in my life met a more overly indulged, 25 year old coward (yes, you heard me. That BS about texting that you're moving out while I was at work and couldn't respond was undoutably cowardly) that is so out of touch with reality yet claims to be very mature for their age.


2) Do NOT do all of your packing and shuffling and sorting RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER ROOMMATE"S DOOR TO THEIR ROOM and BATHROOM!!!!! Especially not when A) the coffee table is bigger, B) closer to the door and C) It's not in someone else's way!


3) Holes that I can stick my pinky through ARE NOT OK TO LEAVE! Are you kidding me? What on earth did you have hanging there? A full size GONG?!

4) Don't leave random magnets attached to the fridge because they're too sticky to get off. Get a putty knife, some kind of Goo remover and take the hour to get them off. Oh yeah, then wash up the residual! And no, you're not getting them back now. I put in the effort, they're mine and if i want to throw them out, I will. (except some of them are kind of cool)

5) When you tell your roommate who's staying "I'll be there before noon to pick up those plants that are in your way"....at least call and let her know that you won't bother to show up until after 4pm, wasting her time and effort to move them out of my way as I cleaned yet another mess caused by you. This will be detailed in number 5.
Thanks for vacuuming up after taking all the plants: Except you missed everywhere but the main pathway. Don't bother next time if you're not gonna do a halfway decent job. If you'd missed the corners, then whatever. But doing a once over in a straight line? Just don't fricken bother.

6) I couldn't believe that we were unable to use our deck for much more than walking out one step and turning around in a circle. That is a completely rediculous amount of plants you posess and guess what? HALF OF THEM ARE DEAD! This issue coupled with the clean off of the roof which dripped onto our deck left the deck smelling like old rotten seagull poop! Thanks for leaving that for me to clean cause i know there is no way in hell you would have bothered doing more than sweep as shown since they cleaned the roofs in October. It was dark green when it should have been lite tan! That is gross. At least now it's possible to walk more than one step outside.

7) I don't want your crap! If i say "No, I don't want that after you're gone." Then don't leave it in a pile on top of the dining room table. For that matter, don't leave the rest of the crap you are taking scattered around the living area and not show up for 4 days. Again, someone else is living there.

8) Even if you're just cleaning out one drawer....Show up once in a while, get some small thing done. You don't need one of your parents or your brother to escort you to pick up half a dozen small things. You have two hands, use them. It won't be so overwhelming if you chip away at it slowly. Or here's a thought...ask for help. If you asked me to patch holes, i wouldn't mind, it's just leaving them thinking they're ok, that bothers me.

9) There is such a thing as before 2pm. It's when most of the rest of the world is trying to get shit done. You should try it sometime!

10) This is more of a observation of your so called social life; Maybe you should try meeting more people than the 4 whom i saw or heard about in the entire 6 months i lived with you. It's a great thing to be friends with your parents and your brother and a neighbor. But when those are the ONLY people you hang out with and you NEVER agree to try and meet other people? No wonder you're depressed. You have a great personality and would do just fine in the real world. But you're hindering yourself! I invited you out constantly, but always recieved the response No. Try Yes once in a while. You'd be amazed at the experiances.

I realize that I have not voiced a single one of these complaints to you. Mostly out of the knowledge that it infuriates me to no end and i would rather avoid an enormous blowup from compliled issues. I have sat here for the last 6 months quietly biding my time and severly biting my tongue. I knew this would happen, and yet i let you convince yourself that you had it under control.
I hope this has been an educational experiance for you in Common Decency and Common Sense. While living with you was quite a pleasant experiance, your financial situation aside, I was shocked to see your behavior rapidly deteriorate.
To put my feelings about this simply: Grow up. You're not the saddest case in the world. And YES, i 100% fully believe you brought this on yourself and could have nipped it in the butt a LONG time ago.

Way too much going on!

My days have been full of one moderate crisis after another for the last week.

I've foolishly let myself get my hopes up over three different potentail roommates only to have them say no when it comes down to it for reasons that have nothing to do with me or the apartment. There isn't much i can do there.

I've been dealing with the main office at my complex telling me one thing, then going back and changing their story. It got to one point where the only person i will deal with now is the assistant manager. And if she's not there, i'll find out when she will be and leave. Don't get me wrong, they're all very nice, but i wish they would learn the phrase "I don't know" instead of feeding me some "sort of right" answer that drastically changes the issue, and i have to scramble. Then after all the scramble is done, i find out that i didn't have to scramble at all.

Turns out i'm going to have to move after all, so now i have to pack up all my things and move them. Did i mention i'm on doctor's orders to not exercise specifically lifting things?!

I've decided i really want a top floor apartment for three main reasons: 1) No body peeking in or lights shining in at all hours of the night 2) second floor would be harder to break into and 3) No one above me in the middle of the night walking around or, good grief, a rhythmic squeak of a bed.

For those who haven't been able to see my Facebook status this week: Katherine is moving out. As in, according to her latest reports, she'll be moving her bed and personal stuff back to her parents house today. I expect most of her things to be gone by Friday.
On the bright side of this:
I get to live solo for 2 weeks!
I can do anything i want like run around dressed (or not) however i want!
I don't have to worry about being quiet in the morning because she'll be asleep till noon and crabby if i make noise.
I control the tv and the DVR
No more negitive energy! No more moping about, no more lumps on the couch (she has some of my sympathy, but when that's all you do all day long instead of being proactive, i don't have very much for you)
And i won't have to worry about her room being messy to show!

On the tarnished side of this:
I get lonely, and i wont' even have a cat to talk to.
.........yeah that's about it....and i have friends nearby....and a phone.

My thanks go out to Kenny, who has let me come and invade his place to stay away from my roommate. I think i make up for some of it for my sheer entertainment value, but it's nice to enjoy myself after a long day, not feel like I'm in someone's way all the time no matter where i am (even my own room).

And lets just avoid the subject of work and leave it at; I took friday off for my own personal sanity and the safety of everyone in my office.

On the plus side of my life right now:
I'm forcing myself to eat breakfast, odd when i haven't done so since junior high. And i must say, eating oatmeal every day for breakfast has had three major positive effects:
I don't feel hungry until right at lunchtime, I'm not muching, and i've lost over ten pounds since january first (i know i said i wasn't going to pick a number, but common, you start to notice after the first 10)

Plotting against my landlord....

So, my roommate springs on me that she's moving out.
Ok, so i can't really say she sprung it on me; she hasn't had a real job since i moved in with her in August. But the fact of the matter is that she needs to be gone, no more rent or bills after February.
This left me with the very streesful and distasteful task of looking for a new roommate. After talking to so many the last time i looked, it was hard to force myself to even start looking.
But it seems my life has hit enough lows in the last couple of months that it finally decided i deserved a little luck.
On my second day of looking i ran across an ad of someone looking for another roommate to search for an apartment with. I even titled my email as "This may be a long shot".
It seems that we're well suited for eachother. And she pointed out a few things, like for instance that i'm paying 300 more a month than the going lease right now. >:
So now with advice from several sources, we've hatched a plan. Now we're going to see what the landlord thinks tonight. On the plus side of this plan, if it works (based on what they've told me, it will) i'll be saving that 300 a month.

My roommate's cat and I

This is totally how it is:



Artwork courtesy of The Devil's Panties, a webcomic by Jennie Breeden.

breaking the 69th post

Just found it funny that it's been stuck like that for a while.

Nano is complete, i finished both the word count and the story i was writing for it, Go ME!
I'm tired now, and i almost ran a red light comming back from lunch today. Go ME!

I failed at hanging lights the first time, so i put them outside and they now don't blink the same way....damnit.

Our cat is nuts, and he talks back. I want to smack my roommate for being lazy. Cause there's no way that you can say you've been looking for a job and still be unemployed for almost 6 months when you're trying to be a nanny. Common! after the second month i'd be waiting tables or something just to make some kind of money if no nanny gigs showed up. At least her half of the rent is still getting paid. Now she's starting to talk about looking out of the state. That's comforting. -_-

Oh and never put two Tablespoons of salt in any kind of bread...it's a bad idea.

However whipped honey butter is amazing. I took a good size jar over for thanksgiving and i'm pretty sure it's all gone now. It's great on popcorn too.

Surviving the worst week in a very long time...

Monday: car accident, getting locked out of car, standing in the rain for an hour till the locksmit arrived, co-workers stopping buy to make sure i'm ok but not a single one offering a jacket or umbrella.

Tuesday: Smashed finger in a door, let out a very loud cuss word and was reprimanded for it.

Wednesday: Color printer is still broken and i'm getting pestered by the same people multiple times in an hour if it's fixed yet. It's affecting my ability to get the rest of my work done. Needless to say, i snapped at them. And was reprimanded again.......

Thursday: Trying to deal with insurance company, and rental company hasn't called me back to confirm my reservation. Dad decides to get mad at me for no apparent reason then ignores me in favor of talking to his brother on the phone. Didn't even say goodbye to me. Go to bed at 8:30 cause i'm just that emotionally drained. At 11:30 my roommate decides it would be a good idea to FRY SOMETHING. I'm woken up with this very loud hissing noise, my heart starts pounding and i race out of my room half dressed to see what's on earth could be going on. And my roommate has this horrified look on her face and is saying "i'm sorry, i'm sorry" over and over as she tries to get the food in the fry pan to be quiet. The black cat is crouched on the white floor looking at me clearly in terror with this look on his face like "if i don't move maybe she won't see me". My heart wouldn't calm down for almost two hours so i really didn't sleep well.

Friday: no word from the rental company, and no reply to messages. Drop off my car at the shop, initial estimate is like 900$. Final estimate is 1700$. The shop had to call in the renal company who finally responded. I took out the extra insurance just in case because of my luck this week. Go home to try and talk to my dad again, he's on the phone again. Didn't say hi, nothing. I was there for over a half hour and he didn't say goodbye again when i left. I have no idea. Broke my high heeled shoe and scraped up my knee.

Saturday: just stayed home and cleaned and did my yoga. It didn't help. My appartment lost my confirmation for my renter's insurance so i had to go through that whole mess again. The cat tripped me and i have rug burn on my hand now. And my manicure didn't even last a whole day.

Sunday: Went home and delt with mom and her hovering, then went and babysat the girls while the parents went out to get errands done. Smacked my bad knee on the corner of a table and got Aleah's head smashed into my nose. Went home and locked myself in my room then went and visited with kenny after he got off work. And poor guy, i started crying and whining to him. I don't whine very often but he was very sweet and let me get it all out of my system.

At the same time, I look at all of this and go "is this as bad as it gets? this is nothing! This is all managable." Yes it's frustrating, yes it sucks, and yes it really wore at me. But in the end, i'm fine. My battle wounds from this week will heal, I've never had a reprimand before so i doubt they'll seriously affect me, my roommate has promised to never do that again, my dad can't not talk to me forever, mom's just....mom, and my car is being fixed.

This is all just part of life; the wheel goes up and the wheel goes down. I think mines just gotten a slight flat and is sluggish this last week. It will get better though.

appartment

I felt like chocolate chip pancakes today. They were really good.
I have found that as much as I like my roommate, her being gone for this whole weekend...is AWSOME!
Things are getting done. Usually she's just fine with helping me keep up with cleaning. But she's been sick for about the last month with two separate sets of ear infections. And due to that, she's been a lump on the couch hogging the tv. Only the dishes really have been getting done.
Within an hour of her leaving, I changed the couch slipcover, swept off the deck from all the birdseed and leaves, and vacuumed.
It felt good to get things done. I'm a do-er, not a talker.
I've also decided, i want to get rid of the third chair we have here and replace it with a chair that takes up less room (and isn't so unbelievably ugly) Besides, if she leaves and i decide to stay at the end of the lease or even sooner (hope not) i really should have some of my own furniture.
So i'm attacking craigslist.

That's about it for an update.

Took a day off from work

I just finally couldn't deal with this week anymore. On Wednesday, i went to my boss and said, is there anything that could prevent me from taking friday off?
His response: nope, more notice would have been nice, but have a good day off.

I love my boss. He is awsome and very good at what he does.

I got up to let my roommate's mom in, and find out that the roommate will be out of town at her aunts until sunday night. Oh thank god! Now some stuff will get done. I adore my roommate, but she's been sick and basically a lump on the couch, hogging the living room tv with home design shows. Almost as soon as she left, i had dyed my hair, showered, dressed, ate, and was ready to attack the living room.

Wonderful thing about Ikea furniture, it has interchangable slip covers. So we can go from blue and white stripes to red corderoy! Only problem is that red corderoy tends to attract massive amounts of fuzz. 22 sheets from one of those roller sticky fuzz collectors and the couch looks great.

Then i went to go get the vacuum and clonked my head on the bird feeder then on the wind chimes and i come to realize, I hate going out on the deck because of those two items. They're right at eye level and constantly in the way.

They have been moved and they're going to stay moved. I live here and I pay rent, not the birds.

The deck got swept clear of all the built up birdseed and leaves. And all of that was just to get the vacuum out of the deck storage. Once i could do that, I vacuumed and tidyed.

I feel so much better now.

Reality TV Shows

I wouldn't say I'm a junkie by any means, but there are two reality shows that i enjoy watching. Survivor and the Amazing Race.

I watch these shows and think to myself...that looks like fun! Being honest with my skills, i think i could excel were i to be cast in either of these shows. Not necessarily win, but definitely cope better than these barbies in tube tops who start complaining at a single bug bite and these big strong men who can't abide eating things that didn't come from mama's home kitchen.

My roommate and I were talking about what our strengths and weaknesses would if, for some reason, we were cast.

Survivor:

Katherine would be the one who would want to make everyone happy and do anything to help. She's not the kind that would sit around and sleep all day long. She'd probably earn brownie points easily because she's always willing to get up and go take care of stuff. She's also very aware of what's going on around her and understands people very well.
Her weakness would probably be the physical challenges, naturally.

Me on the other hand, I'm competitive to a fault. I play people off of each other. And I don't quit. I've lived outdoors, I've gone a week without a shower, i can sleep on the ground. I'm a hard worker and i can't stand slacking off. My weaknesses, I'm not as good of a people person and i know my mouth would get me into trouble but just maybe i could be the quiet one. Also, the physical challenges, like running would kill me.

I think it would be great to see if i find it actually as hard as they say it is. Don't think they'd cast me though...i don't look that good in a bikini and no one really wants to see my pasty white ass running around the jungle.



The Amazing Race

Katherine said she might get distracted with all the cool countries she would be visiting. All the sights, people, cultures....it would be a great experience.
Me, I'd be Rob from a previous season: "you speak English??!! you're coming with us!" I would definitely be the competitive one and would need someone with me that could keep up, do the physical challenges, and has the ability to not yell at me. That excludes every single one of my family members. But when i get down, i get irritable. They would have to be able to weather that storm.

Just some odd thoughts. Some "What If"s.