Learning to live with an Introvert

Boyfriend Jon and I have been living together for five months now. And along with all the normal arguments compromise that goes along with combining resources, tasks, and responsibilities...it's also been a huge learning experience. For me especially, learning to live with an introvert has been a near constant crash course trying to understand what, when and how much the other person needs.

Why didn't I know this coming in to the living-together situation?

Well, I knew he was happy staying at home, and that when he got involved in a project, it went so far as to exclude all else for long periods of time. I've also never in my life lived with an introvert. There is no such thing in my family, though my mom claims to be one. She goes for long long drives by herself, but usually, it's to go see someone. My dad, rarely goes to the grocery store without someone to keep him company and my siblings take up the spectrum in between.

Overall, i guess i fit into the Extrovert category. I somewhat straddle the line, though. While i love having someone there even though i'm not talking to them, i also don't like people getting into my bubble without permission. Empty house means i'm going to turn on the TV just to have the placebo effect of a human voice.

What i didn't know was that The Introversion Flag could pop up at any time, occasionally conflicting with my extrovert needs to have company, interaction, and socialization.

But I've watched him, seen the physical exhaustion that comes after parties, the strain after long periods where he can't work on his projects, and the outright despondence when we've been going going going, for a long time.

He's a strong man; I wouldn't be with him if he wasn't strong enough to support my own weaknesses. And often i wonder at his patience with my constant whirlwind of plans, projects and bouncing from idea to idea in a single conversation as i try to clear out my head for bedtime.

Out of everything we've been through for almost 3 years, this has been the toughest part for me to learn: Boyfriend Jon is an introvert and has different mental needs than i do. But, I honestly don't know what i'd do without my Infuriating Introvert.

Occasionally, in trying to help me understand, he sends me articles, comics, or a few emails that better explain Introversion. The following was one of the most adorable depictions I've ever seen and i had to share it.

Unpacking!

My last post was about getting down to the dregs of packing, cleaning, and trying to not accidentally pack my sanity into a box. Despite my efforts not to, things got a little frazzled. and i was literally going day to day trying to stay on top of things without freaking out.

Now, sounds a bit pathetic right? Like i can't handle the simple stress from a basic move? Well there was a bit more to it than that.

I think the most eventful thing that happened since my last update is that my mother had a pretty serious accident. She was climbing onto the roof (we're still not sure why she was up there alone) and the ladder went out from underneath her and she landed hard on her right side, breaking one of the bones in her leg and shattering her upper arm bone. Thankfully, my sister was right there and was able to get immediate help and my mother tried to boss the paramedics around on how to move her to the ER, much to their amusement and my dad's chagrin.

This led to three days in the hospital, probably close to 100 x-rays, and very little pain meds because my mom has bad reactions to them. My dad stayed by her side all day every day. Then they came home for about a week to wait for the swelling to go down. (Two days ago she went in for shoulder replacement surgery, and she's now back home and recovering from that as well.) Meanwhile, my sister and I went for several visits both to the hospital and to the house to take turns babysitting my mom who was still stubbornly trying to get around without help.

Let me tell you she had the single most livid bruise i have ever seen. Her whole upper arm was PURPLE and green. I can't believe how doctors looked at that and didn't worry too much. I'm so glad my mom is ok if a little worse for wear. She's been working even! Participating in conference calls and dictating emails. That's either extreme dedication to her job or anything to get dad to stop fussing over her. I made sure to make the joke that she didn't want to help me move so much she had to go and get injured to get out of it. It made her laugh.

During ALL OF THAT, is when i moved. And as if things couldn't get much worse, we had quite an adventure with the U-Haul truck. First they tell us that we CAN'T get it Saturday and Sunday because i waited too long to to make a reservation. Next they tells we CAN get Friday night to Saturday afternoon. But when we show up the manager says no way! Finally we arrange that we can get it first thing Saturday morning, to Saturday afternoon and we'll get the smaller truck. We show up to get the truck and they can't find the reservation which is in Jon's name. Getting REALLY ticked off by this point, we repeat his last name several times before I say his full name last then first. Suddenly, they find our reservation because it was filed under his first name. By this point we weren't going to argue or wonder if we had gotten another "John/Jon"'s reservation and we went off to get our keys.

The new apartment was really the only good part of my last two weeks. With a few small maintenance requests which have been getting taken care of much faster than my old place....I'm in love with this place. It already is starting to feel like home.

Then came the move. We had a small army of friends who came through for us. Thank you so much; Dad, Sister, Lee, Naomi, Tyler, Lindsey, Shelly, Ian, Josh and Annie. You are the best. Two days, two apartments, probably near 100 boxes, a bunch of furniture which was a pain to navigate, three pizzas, some KFC, Pho and a lot of aspirin later....WE'RE MOVED IN!!!!!-ish

Boyfriend Jon and I have been spending every single day trying to deal with the mountain of boxes everywhere, trying to decide what we needed most, and battling hoards of crumpled newspaper. We're well on our way to making our apartment a happy home.

Last night, i finished unpacking the kitchen and made my first meal in about six weeks. It was simple, delicious and probably the healthiest thing I've eaten in those six weeks. No more take out and TV dinners for me for a while. I'm cooking with.....well...it's electric, but i feel as good as when i cook with gas! :D

I'll post before and after pics soon!

The importance of great kitchenware

My number one pet peeve that i have is people who don't take care of their kitchen equiptment. Good cookware is essential for me. My family always pushed and emphasis on quality in the kitchen and i quickly learned why my mom refused to let us put pots in the dishwasher, instead making us wash everything that had to do with the stove by hand.

I started out with practically nothing in my kitchen arsenal aside from a basic four serving corelle ware dishes and some silverware i got from value village. I had to rely on the roommate's cooking tools. I was immediately horrified at my first roommate's so called cooking tools. And no...most of them didn't get the job done. They were scratched, dented, stained, cooked unevenly, food stuck, and didn't sit flat on the stove. Probably because she always threw them in the dishwasher or left the burner on. I couldn't fathom someone being so careless but there was nothing i could do.

I swore that i would never have pots and pans that were THAT crappy. I remember hiding my one fantastic universal pan in my room instead of in the kitchen. When i got an amazing professional stainless steel set for Christmas, they stayed in the box until i moved out despite my yearning for quality pans every time i cooked.

 My next roommate had her own set, which were already getting scratched. But they at least worked. I seasoned them for her and I did my best to take care of them when i used them though she always looked askance at me when i hand washed them. My professional set stayed hidden away in my garage. Finally, i moved out on my own and i was so excited to finally pull the pots out of their box. They were just so pretty!

It's hard to believe that in just a handful of years, I've filled out my collection with quality, nice looking, serviceable kitchenware. Especially since the roommates are no longer a factor. I still drool over kitchen gadgets and was in awe of the professional cooking store i found nearby. I started to expand my collection beyond the basics.

Everything from a kitchen aid (best invention ever!), quality wood spatulas and spoons, pyrex mixing dishes, and high quality and sharp knives. I even got Boyfriend Jon a nice set of knives to replace his old ones because they drove me insane.

But there are still so many things I need. For dinner this week, i'm planning on a green bean casserole, one of Boyfriend Jon's favorites and lo and behold...no casserole dish. Before this we had been using the disposable aluminum tins from the grocery store. I instantly thought of my parent's Visionware Corning dish. That sucker is awesome. But they're not carried in any local stores. Before i know what's happened, it's past my bedtime and I had been looking at Corning ware at every single local store that sells it for over two hours.

It's an obsession. I won't deny it. Having a beautiful and functional kitchen with great tools is a big dream of mine. A currently un-achievable dream given my apartment and income, but a constant one. Down to the fact that i highly covet my buddy Kenny's island in his kitchen. I miss the days of plentiful counterspace. I'd happily give up a dining room to have a bigger kitchen. And i can't help but imagine a home with one of those mockups you see at home depot or ikea.

So please, be kind to your good kitchenware.

Moving Karma

It is the plight of most 20 somethings to be moving around a lot. Through dorms to crummy, falling apart apartments, to slightly up the scale only to fall back when prices rise again. The only thing to do is call in the calvary, also known as friends and family and anyone else you can somehow rope in.

The last time i moved, i even ended up bribing my friend's younger brother to help since several of my friends were unavailable (two of them, i think, were out of town on business). Granted, i was moving from one room (plus a dining room table and a couch) to my own apartment. So i really, didn't have a lot of large stuff. Since then, I've been building furniture, and filling up my apartment with stuff that makes me feel at home. I'm glad I started building up my moving karma.

It wasn't until i helped my friend Lindsey move this weekend that i realized how much more difficult it will be when i decide to move again. She's incredibly frugal but she still had three truck loads to go...and that was AFTER she had been taking boxes over in her little economy car for over a week! Most of my Saturday was spent going up and down stairs lifting boxes, hauling mattresses, and playing the puzzle game of how to get the most stuff in the van when nothing nested together.

Lindsey is a great friend, probably my best gal pal. Drama slides off of her like water on a duck's back and i love that about her. That and for a change, she has her own money and need me to spot her on...well, just about everything. If she says she'll pay me back, she does. She's also smart, hard working, reliable, and matter of fact. I can always rely on her for anything from second opinions on outfits and decor to needing someone to just hang with.

However, laughter is never in short supply when she gets around tools. It took me a while to get used to her lack of training even in things that i consider basic. But she's willing to learn and try things for herself which puts her leaps ahead of the masses. Every now and then, i get a call: "If you come over, i'll make dinner" which is Lindsey-speak for "I broke/need to fix something and my dad's not available". Together, we've put together furniture, installed mirrors, hung pictures, and even made lollipops.

In the process of tearing down her bed, she started talking about wanting a new one, that her current one didn't go with any of the new furniture i helped her put together. Since I've been thinking about upgrading to a queen size bed since December, I started talking turkey. It's an Ikea bed so it's short, but it's made from solid wood which means it's customizable. With a few modifications, it could be perfect for my needs. Raise the legs up with wood, not plastic bed risers, and add a pannel to the back of the headboard so pillows don't fall through...and it's perfect! She was happy to have me take it off her hands when she gets her new one in. All i have to do is help her find a cheap or free box spring and everyone will be happy.

Also, i finally managed to catch my dad at a moment when he was clear, energized and most importantly.... available. Together, armed with the right tools, we whipped out the remaining table legs in about an hour and a half. Perhaps i forgot to mention the best part about the table design: The legs are all removable. They will be able to break down into smaller pieces to make more room if I need it in my tiny apartment.
Onto building the table.

Weekend Rewind

     This weekend was jam packed with all sorts of fun activities. And it doesn't look like i'm going to be slowing down any time soon.  

     

     The weekend chaos started on Friday when i finally managed to get my mother to teach me her meatballs recipe. If you thought i was kidding about the "only cooking for a lot of people" in my previous post, here's a prime example. The meatball recipe called for over 6 pounds of meat. i made at least five dozen meatballs out of that. Thankfully they freeze really well, and my sister who's kitchen is still being remodeled, is very thankful for the re-heatable meatballs to have on hand.  

     

     STILL! I turned, and cooked meatballs from just before 7pm till practically midnight. That was way way way too much. I will be actively working on cutting down the recipe to a much more manageable portion.


     Next time i make them though, I'm going to tweak some of the ingredients and how they're prepared. For instance, i don't like getting a huge chunk of onion when biting into the meatballs. So i'm going to mince them up instead of just dicing. Celery will all be food processed. My sister suggested i mix in sausage meat with the ground meat. And the meat definitely needs more garlic and more spices. They're good, but they're more bland than i would prefer.   

     

     This also reminded me that i really need a better way to store my spices. The few that i have are currently sitting on a turn table that they fall off of every time i turn it. So, in other words not ideal.  

     

     I'm already short on counter space, so a while ago, i put my microwave up on a riser so when i opened the door to the microwave, it wouldn't knock over any food i had waiting to go in. This worked great except it became a catch all for random things like my bike water bottle and my cake icing technique book.  

     

     But, armed with a 20% off coupon i snagged from my parent's place, i went and purchased a spice rack from Bed Bath and Beyond. I then placed new spice rack underneath the my microwave and it FIT....just barely. Check out how awesomely close this fit is!!!

     How's that for eyeballing? Note: This rack is designed to stand upright but the hook on the top just looked like a drawer pull to me which gave me the idea. It's also pulled forward to show how small of a gap there is so i'm not loosing any of my food prep area. It pushes back about six inches.  

     

     I'll just be replacing some of the more off-beat ones like Curry and Cumin, and Celery seed (not getting rid of them, just replacing the contents of the jars) for things like Lemon Pepper, Garlic Salt, Onion Powder, and Hungarian Paprika which i use on a much more regular basis.  
     
     Also this weekend was a slew of video game playing, cleaning, helping Lindsey move and playing cat and mouse with the property manager at my complex.  

     

     One thing: Am i crazy for expecting a manager to reply to an email within a day or two? Not a WEEK without a word in response to three emails and then i get a call saying "we haven't heard from you...are you staying or moving out?". I wonder if the girl in the office wrote his email down wrong, cause i checked it several times. And then, once i talk to him, and he says "I'll call you back within a couple hours" and not hear from him until I CALL HIM five hours later.  

     

     This company's office staff is painfully bad at keeping their promises. After a year, i'm not surprised. But it still grates on my nerves to no end.   

     

     Right now, I've turned in my notice to vacate with his promise that he'll see if he can do better than raising my rent 75$. Theoretically, i should be hearing from him before the end of today. *eye roll* 


We'll see what happens. 

Odds and Ends

Three things are on my mind today; One funny, one that inspires, and one that i can't put an emotion to yet.

Starting on the lighter end of things, Boyfriend Jon and I had a rather amusing conversation that took way longer than it should have. Jon was at Target and I asked him to pick me up some toothpaste. He said "sure" and very thoughtfully asked me what i wanted. I should have known better than to not give him exact instructions. He carefully compares features, price, quantity, value, and about a billion other synonyms. But i didn't have my toothpaste anywhere near me and i was looking for a better one anyway. So i said "Something that whitens and is spearmint."

Jon: "Brand?"

Me: "I like Crest but just no peppermint"

Jon: "They don't have anything that's explicitly peppermint or spearmint. you have cool, clean, fresh, long lasting, extreme herbal mint"

Me: "Um...fresh i guess."

Jon: "Oops, forgot smooth, vibrant, and crystal mints"

Me: "Oh for the love of! I guess you're just gonna have to sample them"

Jon: "Oh Oh just saw radiant mint ;-)"

(by this point, i'm sorry i asked but still amazed at the ridiculousness of in-exact labeling of toothpaste)

Me: "don't worry about it, just get something and i'll just use it"

Six minutes later, i get a picture message. To stem of any more of the Great Toothpaste Ingredient Debate, i said "Sounds good, thank you."

To which i find out he thankfully already bought it.

Jon: "And looks like there's a law against saying which freaking plant they use!"

LoL

The good news is, that fresh actually did turn out to be spearmint.

****

Yesterday was my parent's 40th Wedding Anniversary. It is amazing to me. When i called to wish them a happy anniversary, dad felt like chatting. It turns out they went for a drive with Mom behind the wheel. Which means they were going to end up on the opposite corner of the state. He told me "You know, some people think 40 years is amazing, but for us it's just every day life."

Personally, i think that it's just amazing that they've lasted this long. Not because there's any real problems, but that they've done it in a world full of divorce and an average of 7 year marriages. How they decided to stick it out, is beyond me. I can only hope that I'm as lucky when i decide to settle down to have a partner with similar resolve.

****

I've messed around with my budget and I'm fairly certain that with some simple trimming of excess spending that I'll be able to afford staying for another year.

I was pleased that the cut didn't seem to be so bad as i had originally thought once i started using actual numbers and a calculator. I'm still going to negotiate the increase down as much as possible, but assuming that number will be the official increase, i think i reasonably can afford to stay.

To that end, Boyfriend Jon and I rearranged my room. Surprisingly, when i started going through the stuff that had accumulated, i found i didn't want to keep very much of it. Thankfully my family is putting on a garage sale soon so i can hopefully make some money off of the excess crap that's just been laying around.

Something like relief is coming over me. I'm at peace again. There's no uncertainty this year as there has been the last three. No dread, or fear of the unknown. I don't have to tip-toe around passive aggressive roommates who 'accidentally' take things that are mind when they're packing up. And best of all, i don't have to beg family and friends to help me move.

Instead, i can sit on my couch and watch Chickadees and Juncos peck at the breadcrumbs I've spread out for them. And even seeing the swamp monster (hissing cat) again after what must have been a long hibernation, makes me smile and feel a sense of belonging and calm. It reminds me that I'm in my home.

To Renew or to Move

That's a very good question.

Before trying all the begging, negotiating, crying, arguing, and back to begging them to not raise my rent, my renewal offer is asking for $75 more a month.

That's about $150 more than i want to be paying. Well, no, it's several hundred more than i want to be paying. I now understand why it's said that real estate is one of the safest investments to get into. People are always going to want space to live in. And I very much want to stay in mine.

I mean, i just started making furniture which will work great in other places, but PERFECTLY where i'm at now. I love living alone and having things stay where i put them down. No one to care if i forget to wash my dishes one night, or if i decide to run through my house just wearing socks. I have complete control of the tv, and no one to negotiate with if one of my friends crashes for the night. These are the things i've craved my entire life. I don't want to go back to walking on egg shells.

That, coupled with the fact that moving is a pain in the arse no matter who you are or what circumstances you're in. I'll already be helping one friend move within a month of my end of lease.

I never got around to painting, I still haven't re-arranged my kitchen cabinets, I want to try my room in a different layout now that my desk is no longer in the way. My mind is not ready to move!

Still i have to review my budget and see if i can make enough cuts to afford to stay. That coupled with negotiating with the complex to raise it less than $75 given that i'm a great tenant. No late or bounced rent checks, no complaints of rowdy parties, I promptly pick up packages and i know the office staff by name. I should be the kind of tenant they want to keep!

But I won't know until i go talk to them when the property manager is around on Monday. Most likely, given the low rates of this place, i'm on the loosing end of that battle. But i'll try to work things in my favor anyway.

No, Boyfriend Jon and I will not be combining our living situation right now. Neither one of us is ready to give up the independence of living alone and we like the way things are in our relationship right now. We'll reconsider things when the time feels more right. All i know is that right now, it's looking like my...our dream vacation to Hawaii might be put off until after summer instead of before summer. Ex-Nay on the summer because of too many kids on summer vacation means less bliss for us.

Time to get out the calculator, bills, and start a stricter budget.

Changes in the apartment are coming!

This last week I decided to make some major changes to my tiny little apartment. Perhaps this is kind of silly because my renewal is next month and i just heard a horror story from my friend Lindsey who just had her renewal rent jacked up a full $100! I hope it won't be as bad for me, but the renewal should be out tomorrow and we'll see what the damage is. But there are some things that i can't stand anymore. And with major internal changes, comes the need to change my environment. My list of things to change included:

How i store my tupperware. I started out this year with only one kind of tuperware. The kind with interchangeable lids. However, now i have some from my parents, some from my last roommate, some from a friend, some from my sister. I love that i know so many people who don't know how to cook in small portions, but really, when i offer your tupperware back, don't say "oh you can just keep it". I honestly have half a mind to bake a super batch of really bad cookies and then gift the tupperware back to whence it came.

How i store my cleaning supplies. Really, Anne? what were you thinking putting your tub of cleaning solutions in the big cabinet next to your sink! That's major apartment cabinet real estate! You could be putting things like mixing bowels, in there instead of trapped behind your recycling bin.

Replacing the Coffee and End tables...which survived my sister's entire college experience, and over a decade since with her, plus 2 years with me. Yes, they're durable, sturdy, functional, and they double as seating. But they are scratched, scuffed, and a weird yellowish brown laminate which totally clashes with my pretty mahogany pieces. So I've started pestering dad into moving the end tables and coffee table up on the calendar. And i'm enlisting the neighbor across the street to help with cutting down the huge 4x8 foot boards in his gigantic workshop.

Bedroom linens. I bought a bed in a bag, which is very bright, swirly, and pretty in an effort to lighten up my bedroom for spring and summer. The only problem is is that it's a bed in a bag, not a bedroom in a bag. There's no curtains and so far my efforts to match the color have been fruitless. The current brown curtains do not match the black accent color of the new linens. That's something they don't tell you in the online description.

Bedroom layout. I'm kind of done with the current layout which is having the bed right next to the door and my night stand on the far side. I miss not having a night stand on on my dominant side to plug my phone in at night. So hopefully i can sweet talk Boyfriend Jon into helping me mirror it to the other wall.

*although, given the prospect of a jump in rent, moving, roommate searches again, and other stuff....this one might be put on the back burner for a while until i'm sure of what's going to happen next year. I really wanted to stay at this apartment for two years minimum, roommate free, barring any unforeseen (snicker) circumstances.

One year down, please please let this work for another year. I'm happy for a change and i don't want things to change! What do you sacrifice to a rent god to let keep it happy so it stops shitting on you?

Jump start on spring cleaning

Given that there is a light dusting of snow on the ground right now, "spring cleaning" is just a euphemism for "My apartment is messy again and i need to clean it by Friday".

Molly, the Wallet Thief/Poop machine dog, will be returning to my apartment starting this weekend. Although it will just be for half of a day before she goes back to my sister's place, i still need to dog proof it again so she doesn't go all insane on me again. I was of the opinion that she will love anyone who gives her food and pays her the slightest attention. But Miss Molly had other plans. My mom, or family dog whisperer, thinks that because Molly is a rescue, that she has some anxieties about being in strange places and she shows those anxieties by....removing food from her system ASAP. But, since my parents and my sister will be out on overlapping vacations in a couple months, it's important that we get her used to coming over to my apartment minus the anxieties.

Taking care of Rusty on the other hand is simple. He's like a cat. Feed him on time, pet him and otherwise let him sleep and he's golden. So we're starting Molly on a weekly scale and trying some old tricks like blankets that smell like my sister to see if we can curb some of the less pleasant results.

On the plus side, since she's only coming over after work until my sister gets home...if she does decide to have 3 am diarrhea...i won't be the one cleaning it up. This is a GOOD plan :)

This will be a weekly deal though, starting one day, maybe going over night, so i need to keep my place tidy or within a few minutes of cleaning up. So I decided to start doing some purging. I already Craigslist-ed a multitude of other things that were just taking up room and letting me stack papers on top of it.

The only problem with this plan is that now i have no where to put the stuff that was on top of/inside of/carefully balanced by these things. Now, it's all just in a heap on the floor...mostly in my bedroom. When i can't walk around my bed to the other side...that's a problem. As in, why, for instance, do i still have the unbroken down box that the most beautiful red kitchen aid in the world came in......IN MY BEDROOM?

Tonight is cleaning up the remains of my staining/varnish project and putting away my tools. Then i'll give the kitchen a good wipe down and check the floor for things Molly might think are treats. When that's done, i'll probably clean out my fridge. I know of two science experiments in my freezer that I've been pretending don't exist.

After that will be the bedroom tackle project where i will strive to whip my possessions back into an orderly fashion. Also part of this plan is purging my clothing of things that done fit or are ripped...which i haven't done in about 2 years. So i called in my girly girl sister to not only give me a second opinion, but to fold the "keep" pile for me...cause she's got that awesome quirk of loving to fold clothes.

Also, I bought a summer themed bed in a bag kit. Cause while i LOVE my gorgeous red Ikea duvet cover, with all the dark furniture in my room, it makes things feel depressing in summer. But with Target's "Jasmine" kit...it'll be light and soothing for summer months. Except i ordered a full size and after reading the reviews, i'm thinking i should have ordered a queen size. I'll see when it gets here.

3am Poop Patrol

Well, i knew there would be more adventures with the Wallet Thief/Molly dog. Just didn't expect them to be so gross.

I picked Molly up from my parents place and made the mistake of sitting down. Within minutes i had both Molly and Rusty (my parent's dog) weighing me down.

When I finally managed to dump them off my lap and stand again, Molly was only too happy to go with me. She even approved of Boyfriend Jon joining us for our adventure.

I'm pretty sure that Miss Molly didn't get into anything while she was at my apartment. Boyfriend Jon kept her on the couch until i had finished checking every corner for anything that potentially might smell or taste good to her. Meanwhile she chilled in the round chair in a position that maximized her belly rubbing potential.

After that, she joined in on a Halo Reach party. And by joined in, i mean that she sat on my lap and pawed at my hand because i wasn't petting her or paying attention to her, which is so wrong of me to be RIGHT THERE, but not adoring her.

By the end of the night, she had met three dogs from my complex, left her mark all over my area, chased a squirrel, checked every single corner of my apartment for food (while i watched her like a hawk ready to snatch anything out of her mouth), and been pet enough that she fell soundly asleep at my feet around 11:30. I settled in for what i thought would be an easy night.

(insert ominous music here)

At around 3am, i was woken up by Molly beginning to move around. Figuring she needed to go out, i got up and pulled on my robe. When i turned around to find her (time lapse of maybe five seconds), she was just finishing laying an extra gooey turd right in front of my front door. I yelled "Molly no!" but was by far too late. I clipped her leash on and led her out back since opening the front door would have smeared her 'present'. Thankfully, i live on the bottom floor and have some grass out in my swamp. Molly sniffed around for a good fifteen minutes, but kept trying to go back inside rather than finish off her dump. Finally, the cold won and i let her back inside.

I proceeded to clean up my carpet while Molly sat and wagged her tail, completely content now that i was awake to pay attention to her again. She was utterly non-perturbed that I was gagging at the smell. When it was clean, i used a large flattened cardboard box to block off part of my room, and then closed her in so she was next to my bed and had about five feet of space to walk around without getting into trouble.

For a half hour, I argued with her that she was not going to be allowed back onto the bed. Her attempts to thwart my decree ended up shaking my bed as her wiener dog length, and cocker spaniel weight hampered her jumping up successfully.

Just as i was dozing off again, i was overwhelmed by another round of stench. I flipped on my light and was greeted by another set of presents . Looking at the clock, it had just turned 4am. Luckily, I had tissue in my room and was able to clean enough of the mess up so that i could open the door without smearing it all over.

We repeated the process of standing outside in the cold while she sniffed around without pooping or peeing as she got a dose of sleep-deprived crabby Anne. Twenty minutes later, when I felt sure that she was done with those kind of gross presents, i let her back in. I got out my carpet cleaner and got to work cleaning up the mess in my room and lighting a scented candle to mask the stench. No sooner did i turn around then i see her walking away from yet ANOTHER gooey puddle.

By this point the only thing keeping me from dragging her back outside is how cold it is out there. So i took the cardboard box and blocked her into the kitchen where at least the linoleum would make cleanup easy. I then start cleaning up THAT mess while she watches me by standing on her hind legs and looking over the box. I put her bed in the kitchen with her and finally went back to sleep around 5:30 am.

I will say that the best thing about Molly is that she doesn't bark, or whine, or make much noise at all. Just soft snoring, or humphing when she's smelling around. Occasionally, she'll growl a little bit, but usually it's only when something like a squirrel is taunting her from the other side of a window. She doesn't even bark at other dogs. It definitely was a winning trait with my whole family.

And of course, upon waking up around 7:30 to let Miss Molly out again...there wasn't a single dropping anywhere in my kitchen. *scowl*

I talked to my parents (Molly's weekday guardians) and they said she went through a similar episode the first time she stayed at their place, so it might just have been distress at a new place or that she managed to get into something after all.

All I know is that all day Sunday, I nursed a headache. And when Mom offered to take Molly for the week like she normally does for my sister, i gave up/in.

If i hadn't had them as a backup, I would have tolerated it. But it just solidified in my mind that as much as i really want a dog right now, my lifestyle is not ready for it. Anyway, Molly is back with her companion Rusty so she's much happier.

Crows, and The Blob

I don't know what evolutionary reason that crows are up before dawn, but I sure as hell don't like it.

I've said it before, and I'll remind you. Rude awakenings make for a VERY crabby Anne.

My bedroom window faces the trash area of my little apartment cul-de-sac. It's far enough away that i never smell it, but it's within earshot. And every morning, i hear the indignant caws of the crows fighting over the trash. The loud, grating, inconsiderate argument over a bananna peel or a burger wrapper. Were i still at home, i could easily pull out my blow gun (yes, i own a blow gun) and stalk the stupid birds until i was close enough to shoot them with a paintball pellet. No, i'm not completely heartless; I use non lethal force to get them to go somewhere else. But here in the apartment complex, the last thing i would want would be someone to call the cops cause there's a crazy lady with some kind of weapon shooting crows.

So i am left, every morning, starting at about 4am, tossing and turning to their debate over garbage. Anyone have any ideas of what else i can do?

In other news, i tried a new recipe for my bread machine. This one was offline since following the recipe in the booklet for this specific model yields dense salty bread. Standard recipes are so bland, it's like eating flour paste. But I must say this new recipe was delicious! It's called Springtime loaf and i simply left out the raisins and optional extras. It has a nice sweet taste and it's light and fluffy. Maybe a little too fluffy. I went to bed before it finished, and I awoke to find the dough had seeped out from under the lid and crept all the way down to the counter. I had "The Blob" in my kitchen. Obviously, this recipe was meant for a double or full sized bread maker and not my small version. Not to worry, halving this recipe should be reasonably easy. And as luck would have it, the part of the over zealous loaf which was in the tin....was PERFECT and i was able to cut off the extra non cooked dough.

Oh yeah, and today is 8 months with the sweetheart. I don't typically celibate monthly, but I felt like he deserved an acknowledgment for putting up with me recently. I love you!

Apartment Gremlins

I seriously MUST have a massive Gremlin infestation. Things have gone missing without so much as a "by your leave". Most confounding is the disappearance of my curtain rod. It's 4 feet long, brown, with distinctive ends. Three people have confirmed that they are certain it was moved out of the moving truck and into my bedroom. I myself, am certain that I saw it while setting up my bed.
Since that point...i have checked: Under my bed, in the closet, behind every single door, inside my laundry closet, inside my pantry closet, under my couch, behind my tv, in the entry closet, along every single square inch of floorboard, behind the water heater, in my patio storage, my only window sill and behind my toilet.

I know, I know...you're probably thinking it's there somewhere or I'm just forgetting where i put it. But that's not all.

Other missing items:
Half size mirror, A skirt i made, single egg size fry pan, and two shelves from my book case!

I pride myself on having a very good memory especially for things that I have seen. This is baffling me. Needless to say, I'm at the point of blaming the darn gremlins!!!

BWI....Baking While Impaired

No, this is not a post about baking and being drunk. This is a post about my part infuriating, part incredulous, and part hilarious evening of attempting to make my favorite meal.
For starters, let me help you salivate.
My favorite meal is baked chicken with Hungarian paprika, gently cooked for 45 minutes until tender and juicy. I accompany this meal with baked garlic asparagus drizzled with olive oil until it is soft on the outside but still crisps when you bite into it. Also, a helping of Jasmine rice, covered with my simply delicious white sauce (which even my brother who hates my cooking always goes back for seconds or thirds of).
Perhaps now you can see why i was upset at not being able to make it! And here is why:

On a normal stove, usually there are 4 burners. And these burners are controlled by a knob which helps you set the heat setting. Fairly normal burners are low, med-low, med, med-high, high and Off. If the stove includes an oven, usually there is a separate nob for the oven temperatures. 100degrees, 200, 300 etc.

Mine: Low, Med-Low, Med, Med-High, High....Off

Needless to say, i was a little confused as to where 350 degrees was.
Unfortunately a phone call to maintenance was too late, as they had apparently "just left for the night like a couple minutes ago."
So with much sadness, the chicken and asparagus went back into the fridge, and the rice back into the bag....and Jon and I went out for Chinese.

My new home

There are things which you don't really miss until you go through a long time without them. For me, it has been a place to call my own. One that is decorated, designed, painted and laid out the way that I want.

Moving in with Katherine....she had already lived there for 4 years.
Moving in with Kelsie....she had lived there for 7 months.

I had to negotiate changes, or do the rather impetuous thing of changing things without asking counting on the fact that they would be too lazy to move them back. I never felt comfortable asking them to move things out of the way so that I could have room and just doing what I wanted prompted nasty looks passive aggressive bullshit. Promises of "I want you to feel like this is your place too," were replaced with "that's the way I have it and i don't really want to change it."

I distinctly remember both of them remarking that i never put up pictures of my family and friends or even just paintings i like. Most of this was due to the fact that they had pictures everywhere and i would have had to squeeze my stuff in-between.

There is a new song out by Carrie Underwood, which is about a temporary home. Which is all that i have had since i moved out. While i understand this is the nature of apartments, there is also such a thing as being comfortable in your temporary home. I always felt like i was stepping on someone else's toes just by walking in the door even if all I did was go straight into "MY room". I'm tired of living in someone else's space.

Finally after dealing with the leasing agents for a full 20 days, and not a single one of them going smoothly....i have a final, set, unchangeable move in date. I also have furniture to build, walls to paint, and security to address, and a whole lotta stuff to move.

My living situations have never been an easy fight. I have watched enviously, while still very proud and happy for friends as they find a place and move in and it's just perfect. Just smooth, and perfect. Every living place has been a fight. Fight to get in, fight to stay, fight with non compatible personalities. And i'm tired.

At least now all i have to fight with is myself.
Countdown: 3 days

One move down, one to go

I love my parents. They spent years teaching me valuable lessons with patience and love. They always provided for me, and taught me how to fend for myself when the time came. And as is the natrual course of things, I eventually left the nest and went out into the big world. I overcame hurdles and thrived on my own, enjoying ever second of the freedom to choose my own rules, my own style, and to make my own decisions.
The apartment I'm moving into alone had one big catch to it. There was a gap of about a week between the leases. Which meant the most logical choice was to stay with my parents during that time. They're local, willing, and come with some serious perks.

But it's only been 24 hours...and i distinctly remember why I chose to move out in the first place. Once you've tasted that freedom, it's hard to go backwards.

Apartments and Craftsmenship

After a great deal of frustration, I have been assured AGAIN, that the apartment is mine. As I should have expected, just about nothing ever comes easily to me when it involves my living situation. This time, however, I had the ability to be in control of some things.

The Saga:
Thursday, I passed the background, rental history and credit check. I put down the deposit in the form of a check and basically was told that the apartment was mine. Elation and relief swept over me.
After the last year, though, i should have known better.

• Monday: I was supposed to get a phone call telling me exactly when my move in date was. There was some question as to what needed to be "flipped" in the apartment before I took over. When by the end of the day I hadn't received a phone call, I checked my bank account and saw that the checks for the deposit had already been cashed. So i think all is well, and they probably just didn't get to it.
• Tuesday: Still no phone call by lunchtime, so since i was there anyway visiting a friend who also lives there, i stopped by. Upon walking in, i start dealing with an entirely new person, whom i've never even seen before. She starts going off with "oh my god, they didn't call you? I'm so sorry." But the way she said it, made me freeze. I've heard that tone of voice many times before and it never means good things.

It turns out that monday, the current resident of the apartment in question asked for an extension of 10-12 days and that extension was approved. According to the person i talked to, the resident, being on a month to month lease, has that right. (sounds fishy to me). So I asked her, what was going to stop him from getting another extension if 10-12 days wasn't enough. The answer i received: basically nothing.

After going back and forth with them about the possibility of getting another, more expensive, apartment for the promised price, and them trying to negotiate with the current resident, and me....the manager finally got involved and basically, told the current resident that he had to be out on the time originally agreed upon.

I have never felt more played before in my life. Perhaps they figured that at 23, I would allow myself to be bullied, and remain naive about rental laws, instead deferring to their "expertise".

They couldn't have been more wrong. Not only did I manage to stand up for myself in a calm and logical manor, but I put them back in their place. Citing their own paperwork which proved they were the ones who were wrong. I didn't tolerate the lack of communication and instead went in to put them on the spot and essentially force them to work on my time frame.

Why did I decide to still rent at this place after all the games, you might ask?

When it comes down to it, it's just about the only place i can afford to live alone in my town. And since I tasted the option of living alone...i hunger for it. Not to mention, they have a better idea of who they're dealing with now. It's going to take a lot more than what they've got to beat me into stupid decisions. Not to mention, I got an opportunity to meet their head and second maintenance guys. And i really like them. Good people who know their stuff are hard to find. And likely, once the lease is signed, i won't have to talk to the leasing agents again.

In other news...
Quality furniture is hard to find for a good price. Or rather in a price range that I can afford. Perhaps it's my picky nature looking for features that I like, or perhaps that I value quality as well as design that has left me frustrated with what the market has to offer.
Not to mention, I have abilities, finely honed over time, that most 23 year olds can't even dream of possessing. Abilities like Wood Craftsmanship.

• http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u34/Firefly_Haven/My%20Creations/P1010336.jpg
• http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u34/Firefly_Haven/My%20Creations/Bookshelf.jpg
• http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u34/Firefly_Haven/My%20Creations/Bookshelf.jpg
• http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u34/Firefly_Haven/My%20Creations/P1010337.jpg

My plan is to stay in this apartment for a minimum of 2 years, barring any unforeseen circumstances. So why not design and create some custom furniture that suits my needs and wants all in one?
I'm in the process of designing, then i'll talk to my dad and neighbor who are both amazing craftsmen to see what they think the materials might cost for this. I'm hoping to design a TV stand with drawers (my first experience with drawers) and a pair of matching DVD stands. Maybe eventually, making a coffee table and end tables to match.
Hopefully, it won't be cost prohibitive and I can in the end have a complete matching set of furniture all custom built to my specs. It's a dream i have. An ambitious one, but mine never the less.

The October Turnover

October. The turning point of the year.

September still remembers the heat and sunshine, and everyone is so busy rushing around trying to get ready for the start of school that they even notice a fallen leaf.
But it's not until October that the world slows down; darkness comes noticeably earlier, the trees turn to the colors of flames; and we start to notice for the first time, the ice formed on our windshields when we go to work in the morning.
Early October is when all the summer clothes go into hiding, and warm coats are retrieved from vacuum bags, closets, and under the bed storage. Sweaters and heaters are needed all of a sudden as the cold penetrates no matter how tightly shut up your home is. Down comforters become a warm sanctuary emphasized by electric blankets and soft fuzzy socks.

Speaking of which. I'm not sure how i ever survived without the items in the last sentence. I have discovered that it is truly foolish to change out your blankets for a down comforter and an electric blanket on a Sunday in time for going to work on Monday. The foolishness lies in this because come morning...you are NOT going to want to leave. I sat there thinking to myself this morning..." Do I really need a shower? will anyone notice if I don't wear clothes in today?"
Of course the answer to these is why I did manage to pry myself from the folds of my comforter and proceed to do so. My workaholic nature aside, i seriously considered calling in sick.

NaNo 2009 is slowly but surely gearing up. Now is the time when I start working out tiny details which could have a big influence on my story. And with my role this year, I'm planning, and weighing odds for meetings. How many people can show up every thursday?, but then we run into thanksgiving. Would it be better to do it on wednesday, or the weekend. So many things to think about. And even though on the 6th, it seems like there is plenty of time; I'm certain there isn't.

In other news: My OCD took over one day and i spent 4 hours refinishing a headboard my dad got for really cheap. I sanded out all the scuff marks, and re-stained part of it, painted the other and now it looks like it came straight from a showroom. I also changed over the colors in my room from the blues and whites to the reds and browns for winter. Soon i hope to have my room actually...clean and organized. I hate living like this, but I haven't had a solution before.

And the greatest news of all, i have purchased a new laptop. It is georgeous, powerful, and will do everything i want Laglessly. I'm already drooling.

The cleanse

This year sucked. Plain and simple. 9 months of constantly adjusting took so much out of me. And I did a lot of it under a bevy of disharmony. I refuse to live like this anymore. So it's time to put an end to all of the stress I'm still carrying with me. So here is my final vent on last year. This is meant to cleanse my mind so i can move on. I'll be taking care of cleansing my soul and body later.
In college, i took a psychology course from a teacher that really knew her stuff. I loved the class. It was supposed to be difficult, but it seemed to click and i pulled out some of the top test scores. Of course, I passed the class with a C- due to the fact that i 100% forgot about the midterm paper. The day we turned them in, I was looking around going "Oh Crap!" with nothing in my hands but air.
In the class, one thing i remember was Maslow's Hierarchy.
Basically, if you think of it like an actual structure...each level is only as stable as the one below it. And if your foundation, (food, water, shelter, the essentials for life) is constantly in flux, so is the rest of your life. It turns into a game of Jenga; how long till the pieces fall apart? For instance: the last time i did something creative, was in November. Before all of this nightmare started; when i didn't know where i would be living at the end of every month, or who with, or if Katherine would actually pay her rent.

I know that i'm tired of comparing Kelsie and Katherine. Yet can't seem to stop. I'm hoping that getting all of it out of my head will help.

The final paperwork has been dealt with and hopefully will not pop it's ugly head up again. I truly hope to never hear from Katherine again. I'm not really sure why the numbers in the end played out the way they did, but I'm not complaining :-) It left me with a returned check for the last 8 days, and Katherine didn't get her old roommate's half of the original deposit. I feel like for the first time, justice prevailed.

I find myself, living again with someone whom I barely know and have no basis for trust. And despite all signs pointing to "You can trust Kelsie" my rational side still remains conservative. Both of us lived alone for a while and got used to the freedoms and liberties that comes with having absolute control over your domicile. Now again, we have to remember to compromise and communicate. While so far, the friction we have experienced has been barely perceptible, I can't help but look back at how i felt living with Katherine.

I thought I could trust her too. I thought she was too nice to try and screw me over. She promised me that I could treat the apartment as though it was half mine. Yet my normal habits became a matter of contention. I wasn't able to fold the couch blanket JUST right. I didn't leave the sliding door open enough for her cat to get out in the dead of winter when there was 10 inches of snow on the porch and the cat looked at her like "yeah, right, me? get my feet cold? i think not!" I tried to be compromising, but ended up all but barricaded in my room. Everything became a discussion which was basically her telling me how it was going to be. To which I ignored and continued to behave in a reasonably courteous manner.

With Kelsie, she seems to be less rigid and more open to merging our belongings. I didn't find myself with all of my stuff left stored at my parents house. This isn't to say that things might not change, but I'm trying to remain optimistic. And while she no doubt was there first, I haven't run into the mass amounts of opposition at simple changes so far. Mostly the change was necessary because she's a good deal taller than I am.

Dealing with Katherine always seemed to be an endless downward spiral. Yet i seem to have found the end of the string. I rode the emotional and mentally exhausting roller coaster rides, I held on to my convictions and now i sit, holding that metaphorical string end in my hands unable to let go because of how wronged my emotional side felt. So it's time to analyze with my rational side.

• Basics: Food was never an issue, my parents always say if you leave our house hungry, it's your own fault. Water, also never an issue. I have shelter and i know where I'll be living at the end of the month. I don't think i can accurately convey how much of a relief that simple fact is.
• Safety: I've lived with Kelsie for nearly 2 months. She has given me no reason to doubt that her portion of the rent will be paid on time. And we have a written agreement which protects both of us should something happen. Our place is in an overall safe city, safe part of town and there really is only one point of entry which we are both vigilant in locking up.
• Belonging: I have some great friends, some good friends, and some ok friends, but at least i have you all. Love has not really entered my life this last year but maybe that Jenga piece will fall back into place as soon as I'm ready.
• Esteem: All i can say is that i'm happy and proud to be standing on the other side of the downward spiral...because it goes back up from here.
• Self-Actualization: This is what a lot of people refer to as feeding your soul. I haven't been able to draw, paint, sculpt, write, or create for so long. There was too much stress or fatigue or my own schedule in the way. And it's the part of me that i missed the most. It's part of what defines me, and makes me happy.
  

The only way to recapture who I am is to let go of this pitiful thread of the past and pick up a paintbrush or a pencil instead. I think at this point, the paintbrush is looking more appealing.

I am short and organizing and the PGR

I haven't really felt the desire to write an update in a week now.
Kelsie and Jonas have taken a trip to Sweeden and will be gone till the end of the month. While it's nice having the place to myself; I'm getting frustrated.

Everything in this apartment is set up for tall people! Kelsie has a good 6 inches on me and Jonas has even more (probably close to a foot) in height. I find myself reaching above the microwave which is above the stove for my cereal. Now about 40% of my diet comes in the form of cereal. So this constant having to get the stool out to reach my cereal...DOESN"T WORK FOR ME!

So it's currently sitting out on the counter. That doesn't particularly bother me, but I know it won't work in the long term. It appears i'm going to have to re-organize the kitchen again before Kelsie gets back. Same goes for the laundry nook. When i have trouble reaching down the heavy bottles of fabric softener....there needs to be a change. What the change is going to be...i'm not sure yet. The wheels in my head are still turning.

Something have noticed, mostly because i used to work for a personal organizer and that's one of her major lessons. Vertical space is not utilized at all in this apartment. It's frustratingly cramped. Looks like i'm making a trip to The Container Store or Storables.

But that will be saved for sunday. Today, friday, i've been invited on a PGR mission. The Patriot Guard Riders are a group of motorcycle riding people i highly admire. They escort the bodies of fallen soldiers from the airport, to the funeral, to the burial sight. Their job is to make sure no soldier is forgotten and alone when they are laid to rest. They have a secondary job to obscure the hateful shouts of vile protesters at these events. Usually they do this with american flags and a bunch of harleys reved up at full throttle with speakers blasting country songs to drown them out. I may have never served in the military, but this is a group that i can't help but admire and respect. I'm honered to be allowed to join them today.

Saturday is painting at the island. It's about time we got those ceilings painted. I hate unfinished partical board.

Launchday!

I have the keys to my new apartment. Simple pieces of metal really shouldn't make me this happy, but I just don't care. I have keys to the most gorgeous apartment ever. *dances*
Also:
Kelsie is amazing and negotiated for us to have an actual GARAGE...with a clicker and everything!

Now when i can buy a motorcycle...i also have somewhere to put it.
Hmmm decisions decisions.