Introducing my brother Michael

My brother Michael is up from Texas last week and this week. It really hasn't been until these last couple days that either of us has had time to hang out. We talked briefly for an hour or so on the dock and last night. He's said a few things that I want to take out of my memory and analyze.

First, a little bit about my oldest brother:
He's 33, works as a jail guard in Texas. He left for the military when i was 7. I can just about count the number of times he's been home since then on one hand. Needless to say, we never really had much to talk about, nor bonded very much. He was off living his life and i was growing up in mine.
I'm not really bitter about it, nor do I blame him. Military tends to travel a lot, it's part of the job. For most of my life I couldn't even remember his face. He was a stranger that showed up and that I had to call brother until I was 16 and he finally realized that he and I should develop some kind of relationship. We went out and had a great evening, just meandering around and talked about some things. It was then that he started becoming a brother to me.
There was a 5 year gap after that where he and I only exchanged small talk on the phone. He'd call for birthdays and major events like my graduation.
He came back this last April right before my mom's shoulder surgery. And we had another bonding time. This time we had more in-depth talks, about some things that had affected us emotionally in the same ways. I started to realize that, of all my siblings and even my parents, I'm most like Michael. This is odd given how little time we spent together.
Now he's back up again this year (unheard of to see him twice in a year before this) for these two and a half weeks. It's nice having him and for the most part we get along just fine.

Now, the two things he's said that have....i don't even know the word, but it's somewhere along the line of surprised, insulted and ultimately amused me.....

1) When mom and dad die and we start dividing up their stuff (first off, this surprised me that he talked about it so casually. Our parents aren't dead, nor dying) Noreen will try to run everything until i get tired of it and tell you all how it's gonna be (Noreen is older than Michael and if he tries it's not going to go over with her very well) Johnny will just want equal treatment and you....you we're not gonna have a problem with.
My response in my head: "Hun, you have no idea what kind of force you're up against". Being a prison guard, I'm sure he's used to getting his way because if they don't listen, he can use pain to force them to submit. He can't do that with me. I'll call the cops on his ass in a heartbeat. And if there is one thing I'm good at, it's being stubborn to a point of spite. Should i set my heart or mind on something...trust me, I'm going to get it.
Second: how demeaning is that of me? I'm not gonna be a problem? talk about pompous. Had my sister been the one to say that, who's been around my whole life, i might take it more seriously. But he doesn't have a clue about me. Who the hell does he think he is, to come back and suddenly, he's in charge? I don't fucking think so!

2) You are such a drama queen. And you would know that SO well considering you left when i was 7? I've talked to mom, and dad, ...and Noreen,.......and Johnny..... Oh, so you're going off of what they tell you when they're frustrated with me? by hearsay? He changed the subject after that.

He doesn't know me. And these minor overtures to try to do so don't change that fact. He's been gone. All he's gotten is tiny snapshots of my character over a very long period of time. And during that time, i was growing and changing and coming into my own. Especially recently. I'm most definitely not a kid anymore and most definitely not who he thinks i am.
Even my parents are changing their idea of me. I shocked the hell out of them when i told them i could afford my car, and be fine. They really thought i was going to get in over my head. I even got eyebrows from them. My parents, who never show emotion, and i got the eyebrows into the hairline.

Ok, that's the end of pretty colors.
I'm frustrated with his braggart ways thinking he knows everything about everyone. He's missed a lot but doesn't seem to care. I'm not going to even try to say i understand him, but i think i have a better idea of him than he does of me. He was already "grown up" when i started to get to know him. He hasn't changed very much in the time that I've known him.
I think it's time we talked. I really would rather he didn't attach mom and dad's stigma to me. He's told me several times that they weren't right about him. So if he believes that, why does he follow their lead in defining my character?

I don't believe that I'm a drama queen. I don't go actively seeking drama. Yet it seems to find me. I can understand how several people might think that i am because when i believe in something, i get very intense about it which most people define as dramatic. I'm beginning to believe I'm sorely misunderstood by those who i thought knew me best. Ok, can't please everyone.

I want to be viewed as myself. Who i am today, not who i was in those snapshots.
no past,
no clearly unfounded assumptions,
no stigmas,
no reputation,
no hearsay,
no boxes of definition.

I think I've changed enough to merit a revised image. It's high time to get to know me, not who i was.