is there a worse time for this?

So, in my building with roughly 200 people in it. There are three admins. Just three. For the most part, we handled our own business occasionally soliciting some help from the others. We were all pretty busy from what i could tell.

But as it's summer, it was time for Diana's trip to Scottland. The last time she went, her and her husband were in a horrible car accident. By sheer luck, both of them made it back alive. Back then i had been horrified at the thought of being without her as my counterpart. I have said before, and i'll say it again. The day Diana leaves, i'll be on her heels. More than a year and a half has gone by since the last time Diana took a serious trip. And in that time i have learned, i have grown and i've developed the ability to adapt and delegate.

Or....so I thought. This time, instead of begging Diana not to go and leave me at the whims of her boss (my boss's boss), i simply insisted that she comes back on time. Sure i can handle this for three weeks. Difficult, but not utterly impossible.

Again. So i thought. I had gotten through both of our's morning chores with some head scratching, fuming but with my hair mostly still attached. Only to learn quite suddenly that the only other admin in the building had been laid off effective immediately. A quite, little older lady who had been dying her hair auburn for far too long and pretty whimsical glasses would be arriving at work no more. Her pragmatic disposition and patient indulgence of even the most ridiculous requests would no longer be a comfort to me on bad days. And what was worse. I could no longer turn to her for help.

By no means was i more concerned for myself than her, but now that she's gone and all that's left of her are T pins where her family pictures had once been and stacks of paper....i can't help but feel a small amount of hysteria over the apparently insurmountable task I'm faced with. 200 people versus little ole me.

I know the ole mantra "Do your best and no less" but really. That just isn't very comforting right now.

I guess this just gets piled on my stress layers. How long till it teeters over?