Broke, Frustrated and Getting By

Most of these last couple of weeks I've just been overwhelmed. I've had a lot of bills come in at inconvenient intervals, and lots of things i needed to spend money on. With my rent, car payment, car tabs, and a medical bill all coming out of the same paycheck, i was effectively broke. And I hate being broke. This doesn't happen often. It's gotten tight before but I've never been down this low for this long. At least looking back, i had some fun.

Two weeks ago, I attended my first Bachelorette Party. It was...interesting. I have no problem with nudity, having been an art student for several years. But paying that much to watch very skinny women took their tops off while the hunky men kept their briefs on...was kind of a let down. However, there were plenty of cirque du sole style acrobats and feats of sheer strength which were amazing to watch. I personally could have done without the furry and bondage acts though. Not my thing.

I was also designated driver. Also not a problem since i rarely drink. But it never fails to amuse me how people claim they're not drunk when they can barely walk in a straight line. And the bachelorette took the cake with her quote for the night. I showed them my bamboo parasol that i had just purchased and she took one look at it and said "Do you have any idea how big of a drink you could fit that in?" as she swayed in her heels. Everyone got home safe and had a good time.

That was the end of the festivities for a while:

I was asked to help fill in for a position that was abruptly vacated (in a good way) which had nothing to do with anything i'd ever done before. I was told that i would get written instructions, 1 on 1 training, and be able to call on the person who designed the position for help if i had questions.

Heh, yeah right. Not only were there no written instructions anywhere, i had about 2 hours of instruction before my trainer went on a week's vacation. This also took 2-3 hours of my workday away to fumble through my new appointment with no allowance for overtime. My team was not happy about loosing my assistance and made a point of telling me so like it was my fault. And the two women who have been the bane of my existence had a field day with my mess ups and passive aggressive conversations on the other side of a cubicle wall.

I've been miserable in pretty much every regard of my job for the last two weeks. Boyfriend Jon has been a saving grace listening to my broken record of "i hate this and this and that too." I know i should be grateful to even have a job in this economy, but i don't feel grateful to work in a hostile work environment where nothing ever changes no matter how much you shine.

I drove my frustrations into physical work. I think this is the first Monday where there are no clothes to be folded, no dishes piled high on the sink, and no sentient life growing in the fridge. There are still my containers of random junk that i haven't put away properly scattered all around and a large garbage bag of mixed up keep, junk and trash from my car. I had planned on getting some of them taken care of, but instead spent the time outside enjoying the rare beautiful weather at a potluck with friends, car shopping with Jon and a Poker night with more friends.

Oh the car shopping. Boyfriend Jon is looking at cars. So it's been a couple weeks of going to dealerships and trying to not cringe away from the salesmen, test driving, and hours of talking about the pros and cons of each car. But he thinks we found it, even though we went there on a lark. Watching him, reminded me so much of when i bought my first car. I remember that feeling of "I'm tired of looking, this is my car!" and the knot of anxiety in your stomach when you start taking numbers. I remember researching that car to death and in several cases, knowing more than the salesman. I was determined to not let them screw me over and in the end, and even my dad was proud of how much i got knocked off the sticker price. We'll see what happens in the near future for Boyfriend Jon. Whatever the case may be, i'm behind him 100%.