I am a Female Carpenter

After trying to do a Google image search for Female Carpenter, Woman Carpenter, woman wood worker, female furiture builder and various other similar searches. I have come to the realization that the internet has no idea what those titles mean. Replace female/woman for male/man and you get plenty of images. 

But 90% of what does come up for the lady version...is downright insulting. 

I AM A FEMALE CARPENTER

As a hobby...I build beautiful furniture, using a variety of tools, math and reasoning, and techniques that have taken years to learn and develop. I am still learning and will always admire good craftsmanship.

I realize this a is 99% male dominated field, and have the utmost respect for masters of this craft regardless of their sex. 

THESE ARE NOT FEMALE CARPENTERS

They are models wearing costumes and holding props. 

Note there isn't a glue wipe, speck of sawdust, band-aid from a splinter, on her perfectly braided hair or perfectly selected clean clothes. Also...lady, you're going to stab yourself with the pencil pointed that way. And you! close your mouth unless you want it filled with sawdust! Save that look for a porno...if you still have limbs for it after you've been holding the saw like that running. 

Being a female carpenter doesn't mean i look like Paul Bunyan without a beard, never shave my legs, endeavor to be a lumberjack, live in the woods, or crack nuts with my toes. 

It doesn't mean i'm a man hater, ball buster, lesbian, or a body builder. 

NOR does it mean I consider Ikea directions a way to build furniture and can only do so with my low power pretty pink tool set that's sized for a child while wearing a push up bra and a thong.

(Note: Nothing against pink tools, just think you pay extra for less power)

It also doesn't mean that with proper training...these women above couldn't become carpenters. 

I realize in a male dominated world, hot pinup women are the easy way for guys to even think about tools and women in the same sentence. Sex always sells. I get that.

But I've worked damn hard to become a carpenter to the point where friends, master-craftsmen, my father and complete strangers are impressed by the quality, design and care put into every single piece i create. 

I'm proud to be a craftswoman who can look at particle board ikea items with distain and know i can make something better for cheaper, that will last for generations. 

AND I MAY MAKE THEM WHILE WEARING A THONG BUT AT LEAST THE THONG IS UNDER MY STAINED, PAINT SMUDGED, RIPPED, and SAWDUST COVERED

WORK PANTS!!!!!!!!!

This is me (for real) at work. 

Arranging

It's been a busy few weeks since my last post. I think out of probably 100 boxes, we're down to maybe a dozen. Most of those items are things that we're not entirely sure where to put because we don't have the furniture item that they will go into set up yet.

My carpentry hobby hasn't been put into use yet because we're still planning on how to fit everything necessary in the few things i have to build. We're pretty much set on our new media stand design which will house all our various electronics for the main room from the sub woofer to our modem while hiding all the wires from immediate view. Also in the works is a new desk that will fit both of us considering there's a 10 inch difference to our heights, not to mention a huge difference in our preferences on desks. Jon likes his arms low, i like mine high; he leans forward, i lean back; his mouse is on the left and mine is on the right; he puts the chair all the way up, i put the chair all the way down or my toes barely brush the floor. It's a conundrum.

Slowly we're learning how to adjust to our new living situation. Thankfully thus far, disagreements have been relatively small and we've worked through them by each giving a little ground.

On Saturday, we braved Ikea first thing in the morning. We got there when the cafe was open, but before the big crowd of people Actually, it was a total ghost town. And breakfast? I gotta tell you: 5$ for a filling breakfast for two! How they keep those prices so low is beyond me. Do they get the chickens to lay their eggs in modular form? Square instead of round to reduce waste of space???

Really...it's mind blowing in this day and age of 10$ coffee based drinks.

We went in looking for a sleeper sofa that would serve as guest sleeping plus an escape when one of us is sick or snoring badly.

We found one that seemed to work for us, but the fabric options were kind of ho-hum. It was definitively industrial and designed to stand up to millenia of wear and tear, but it was about as soft as burlap. But since brown was the best option, we went to talk to the sales lady. While i was talking to her, i happened to put my hand down and felt soft and semi fuzzy. I looked down and saw the same couch, but with an oatmeal colored corduroy-esque cover. I asked her if it was available on the sleeper sofa and she said "Yes, and that blue option over there" So i quickly called Jon over and we molested the couch for several minutes before deciding on the dark nighttime blue couch. (Which...this picture does absolutely no justice as to how wonderfully luxurious the couch is)

So shortly there after, after much grunting, cursing, yelling, struggling, straining, and amazed looks from neighbors....we got the couch and the rest of our loot into the apartment. While Boyfriend Jon still jokes about us having primary color couches (Blue, Red and Green), i thin the effect of having a rich red and a dark cobalt blue look wonderful together. Especially once i figure out where i put my dark cobalt colored blanket. That must be in a box still to be opened.....somewhere....

Unpacking!

My last post was about getting down to the dregs of packing, cleaning, and trying to not accidentally pack my sanity into a box. Despite my efforts not to, things got a little frazzled. and i was literally going day to day trying to stay on top of things without freaking out.

Now, sounds a bit pathetic right? Like i can't handle the simple stress from a basic move? Well there was a bit more to it than that.

I think the most eventful thing that happened since my last update is that my mother had a pretty serious accident. She was climbing onto the roof (we're still not sure why she was up there alone) and the ladder went out from underneath her and she landed hard on her right side, breaking one of the bones in her leg and shattering her upper arm bone. Thankfully, my sister was right there and was able to get immediate help and my mother tried to boss the paramedics around on how to move her to the ER, much to their amusement and my dad's chagrin.

This led to three days in the hospital, probably close to 100 x-rays, and very little pain meds because my mom has bad reactions to them. My dad stayed by her side all day every day. Then they came home for about a week to wait for the swelling to go down. (Two days ago she went in for shoulder replacement surgery, and she's now back home and recovering from that as well.) Meanwhile, my sister and I went for several visits both to the hospital and to the house to take turns babysitting my mom who was still stubbornly trying to get around without help.

Let me tell you she had the single most livid bruise i have ever seen. Her whole upper arm was PURPLE and green. I can't believe how doctors looked at that and didn't worry too much. I'm so glad my mom is ok if a little worse for wear. She's been working even! Participating in conference calls and dictating emails. That's either extreme dedication to her job or anything to get dad to stop fussing over her. I made sure to make the joke that she didn't want to help me move so much she had to go and get injured to get out of it. It made her laugh.

During ALL OF THAT, is when i moved. And as if things couldn't get much worse, we had quite an adventure with the U-Haul truck. First they tell us that we CAN'T get it Saturday and Sunday because i waited too long to to make a reservation. Next they tells we CAN get Friday night to Saturday afternoon. But when we show up the manager says no way! Finally we arrange that we can get it first thing Saturday morning, to Saturday afternoon and we'll get the smaller truck. We show up to get the truck and they can't find the reservation which is in Jon's name. Getting REALLY ticked off by this point, we repeat his last name several times before I say his full name last then first. Suddenly, they find our reservation because it was filed under his first name. By this point we weren't going to argue or wonder if we had gotten another "John/Jon"'s reservation and we went off to get our keys.

The new apartment was really the only good part of my last two weeks. With a few small maintenance requests which have been getting taken care of much faster than my old place....I'm in love with this place. It already is starting to feel like home.

Then came the move. We had a small army of friends who came through for us. Thank you so much; Dad, Sister, Lee, Naomi, Tyler, Lindsey, Shelly, Ian, Josh and Annie. You are the best. Two days, two apartments, probably near 100 boxes, a bunch of furniture which was a pain to navigate, three pizzas, some KFC, Pho and a lot of aspirin later....WE'RE MOVED IN!!!!!-ish

Boyfriend Jon and I have been spending every single day trying to deal with the mountain of boxes everywhere, trying to decide what we needed most, and battling hoards of crumpled newspaper. We're well on our way to making our apartment a happy home.

Last night, i finished unpacking the kitchen and made my first meal in about six weeks. It was simple, delicious and probably the healthiest thing I've eaten in those six weeks. No more take out and TV dinners for me for a while. I'm cooking with.....well...it's electric, but i feel as good as when i cook with gas! :D

I'll post before and after pics soon!