a minor rant

I'm not drunk, I'm not angry, just needing to get this out before it festers.

I feel like I'm on the outside, and unwanted on the in. I see the group of them and even though I've known some of them longer than they've known the others and yet, I'm not treated with the same desirability as others in this group. I view them all as friends, try to be as nice as possible, not needy or clingy or whiny or anything like that. Make sure that they know that they are welcome at my new place, try to encourage them to come over.
And just when my place is finally ready and i work my ass off to get it clean and everything....no one wants to come over because they were all out together the previous night and are all tired.
I can understand them being tired, i can understand them hanging out.
But i get a double zinger when the a) never even asked if i wanted to come instead wording it as "i have plans" and b) no one wants to go through with the plans i had detailed out and everyone seemed really excited about when i initially told them because they're all tired. Instead, they want to change the plans and go do something else entirely different then they just don't want to do anything at all.
Ok, be flexible, be understanding and figure that they probably just didn't realize how much it meant to me to have them come see my new place. For at least three of them, they're still living a college style life where most things are paid for by someone else. Not that this is a bad or lesser thing...its just a very different feeling to have everything come out of your own pocket. Mostly likely, they don't even know how to comprehend how i feel. It's beyond them.


Everything in my life has changed in the last two months. I've become single, found an apartment, moved out, pay my own rent, had my car decide to die on me, have family problems have to get a new car, have problems with said new car, buy two different kinds of my own insurance.
All i wanted was for my friends to come and celebrate all this new stuff with me because it's a little scary to do it alone which is how i feel now. Alone, unwanted, and overlooked.

I don't know what else to say except deep down, i should have seen this coming.