My Wedding Advice!

On August 8th, I got married to the man of my geeky dreams.

It was a beautiful, small, non traditional wedding, followed by our Honeymoon in Ireland, and then two separate receptions. One for Husband Jon's hometown, and one for mine. We both have huge families, and many people who simply cannot travel out of state. So we thought, maybe naively, that we would bring the celebration to them. That led to a 3 week long whirlwind of careful coordination, complicated emails, and Jon and I having a wonderful time but complete exhaustion.

Finally, the whole adventure is over and I'm collecting my advice for future brides who want to step off the traditional path like i did.

1) Create a separate joint email account. Do this before anything else. 

• If you decide to go to a Wedding Expo, or venu open houses, have a separate email. I don't know if they collaborate, share, or sell email addresses, but somehow I ended up getting on a harassing email chain for renting SWANS. 43 emails about renting swans. REALLY! Despite repeated requests to remove me. 
• Besides, sites like hotmail and gmail are common and free!
• Give it a password you both will remember. You can also set up mail forwarding so you see it in your regular inbox.

2) Do this TOGETHER, and don't sweat the small stuff

• Probably about 80% of the decisions won't matter in the long run. You are not going to keep a shrine of your place settings in your home for the rest of your lives. 
• Partners in crime can get the impossible done. Divide and Conquer. 
• I asked Jon what tasks he wanted to be in charge of. And though my Type A personality was just itching to take it back when he didn't complete it six months early...i learned to trust him...with a couple of reminders.
• And he totally did an awesome job.
• He kept me sane. It's so easy for someone to get sucked into traditions and all the amazing ideas pinterest plagues you with. He would be gently honest when i was biting off more than i could chew. 

3) If you need contact info, ask people for their address because you want to send out Christmas(or holiday) Cards. (assuming the holidays come before your wedding)

• Everyone wants a Chrismahaunikwanzaa card. It was the easiest way to get mass information without it being directly "i plan to invite you to my wedding"
• You can do shutterfly picture holiday cards for about 80$. Or general holiday cards come significantly cheaper. 
• Use address labels to save on the hand cramps. 
• We printed out a mass short letter detailing the events of the year, including the engagement, slapped it on the back and called it good. 
• And we got over 150 addresses. Put it in a shared excel file and used it when it came time to do the wedding invites. 
• Bonus...we got several back that year from our loved ones. :)

4) Plus Size Wedding Dresses and alterations

• David's Bridal is not your only choice. While nice...the sales people don't listen. They bring their top sellers...even if it's something you specifically say you don't want. I stated flat out...NO BALLGOWNS and yet somehow ended up trying on 5 ballgowns. My sister called around and found a few other stores who had better options and comparable prices. Ultimately, I was not a DB bride and all the happier for it.
• It's hard emotionally when they try to squeeze you into their only sample that's 4 sizes too small. It's hard when you see your back fat squeezed into a corset. It's hard when the dress you fall in love with looks horrible on you. You need people who understand what you're going through and have felt the emotional roller coaster that is body image. 
• In-house alterations are way more expensive than a normal seamstress. But, make sure your seamstress knows how to work on wedding dresses. I got lucky, one of my best friends has made some custom wedding dresses and did a wondrous job customizing my gown.

5) Be real about what you can afford, and never assume anyone will pay for anything.

• We went into this assuming we would pay for everything. We didn't ask for any handouts and it may have been that attitude that led to our families graciously offering to take on some of the larger items. 
• We also didn't take advantage of anyone's generosity. Even when the money was someone elses, we worked hard to reduce the cost and not give into temptation. I even managed to wheedle down a 900$ dress to 635$. Then my mom refused to let me pay her back. 
• Some people can DIY. Some people can't. Sometimes DIY ends up being more expensive and more stressful than you anticipate. 
• There will be unexpected costs: you need a buffer. You can be as detailed as possible, but you will forget some things tiny things like boutineer pins or gel inserts for high heels. Something will come up, or prices will change or you'll change your mind. 
• We still went over budget. As time went on, we got more lax on weeding out the cheapest option. Or it was last minute and we just didn't care anymore. 

6) Wedding colors don't matter, but saying "there's no theme" apparently doesn't compute with most people. 

• I refused to pick "wedding colors" thinking it would make everyone's life easier and happier that they could wear whatever they wanted. 
• But what it led to was confusion: things i didn't expect depended on this very  important question (sarcasm): Your invites, your center pieces, your bouquets, boutonnieres, shoes, cake, and thank you cards should match! (whoever came up with that...needs to be slapped)
• I think if i did this again, i would suggest a color range (like warm colors or jewel tones) 

7) Postcard RSVPs: 

• Either in black light pen or handwritten before it goes in the envelope...write the name of the person you're sending it to. We had over half come back with no names, and if not for the black light pen...i would NEVER have know who had RSVPd or not.
• Don't forget to put a picture on the back. Seems obvious, but in the midst of everything else, i forgot. Thankfully my friends and family took it as room to draw something for us. Laughter ensued. 

8) Have a digital invite too

• Create a digital copy of your invite, and set it up so RSVP info (like emails) are hyperlinked. This is a digital century, and many people plan their lives on their phones and computers. This will save you time in the long run. Plus the last week or so when everyone's like "who, what, where, when, how"? (And they will...right up to less than an hour before the big day) you can just email them a new copy. 

9) Spend the money on a professional Photographer and Videographer not decorations.

• Our pictures and video were phenomenal. There is no way we could have done it ourselves anywhere near that well. 
• This is where we put the bulk of our money...even though we did the smallest time packages possible. 
• We recorded our ceremony so we could share it with the extended family and just have our immediate family there for the big day. Pixel Dust Productions was amazing and even managed a fast turn around. 
• We also picked a photographer who was proudly displaying a plus size bride picture. Several photographers told me capturing plus size brides was the same as "normal" brides. (rude much?) But Melissa Miksch was phenomenal. 
• These are the items we will treasure. And so it was worth it to get the best quality possible. 

10) Do your own makeup.

• I'm a tomboy. I rarely wear makeup and if i do, its just eyes and lips, no foundations, bronzers, contouring, and blush. But, there was no way i was spending 600$ to have someone do it for me. If I can learn the tricks, so can you. But practice a lot.
• You don't need department store brands but go to the makeup counters to learn how to do it. 
• I went about seven times, then bought drug-store brands and brushes and then practiced a few times a week for months!
• Use primers, and blotting papers liberally.
• My favorite new trick is a foundation blending brush (pic). It allowed me to get full coverage, with minimal foundation. Apply foundation streaks in each area with a paddle, then blend to death with the blender. Also...i have oily skin. So the brand of foundation i choose was Maybelline Dream Matte Mouse. As long as i blotted occasionally...it stayed in place, it didn't cake or run, and it looked great until the end.

11) Bring flip flops if you're wearing "pretty shoes"

• Beauty is pain right? My shoes must have been gorgeous cause they hurt like hell! It wasn't the heel so much as it was the balls of my feet despite having gel padding there. My sister/MOH was dangling them like a carrot at the final shoots. 
• Standing on grass was a pain! my heels sank right in. Thankfully, my father had wood and cut me a small plank to stand on. Wish i had thought of that for the other ladies. 

12) People are R.U.D.E. and you will need Allies. 

• The biggest thing i can suggest is surround yourself with allies. Those people who have seen you at your worst and still love you. The people who will tell you what you honestly need to hear, not placate you. The people who can take over for you at a moment's notice. And the people who can listen without judging.

• People started telling me I HAVE to do this or that, they question everything and cram tradition down your throat. 
• I was informed that this person was going to be in my bridal party 5 minutes after the proposal. (uh...no.)
• I was chastised for wanting to wear white
• told i had to have to take Jon's name or the marriage was doomed, 
• and down right insulted that i wasn't skinny enough to wear that dress. 
• It was bad. Every day I got inundated with questions, people being nosey or impertinent, or just mean! it got to the point where i posted this on my facebook

• I asked myself every day, why is this socially acceptable? How dare these people? and who the fuck are you???
• I should also note....this was VASTLY disproportionate to what Jon had to deal with. He had a couple of people ask him a few details and let it go. I got probably 99% of the grilling. 
• So fellas, when your fiance says "people are pissing me off"...do NOT dismiss it as her being over sensitive. People are probably not treating you the same.
• Jon has been especially good for me in that he takes my gigantic anger balloon and just deflates it. When I cried, he listened. When i railed, he agreed that most of the time i was not overreacting. (sometimes i did...ok a lot towards the end). Just being validated that i was stressed and getting bombarded with hurtful remarks helped so much. 
• He would remind me over and over that we didn't have to do anything these people said. What mattered was that at the end of the day we would be married.
• Then he would kiss me and remind me that he loved me.

• Also a big shout out (in no particular order)
• to my BFF/Seamstress Stevie for also being a wonderful sounding board and coaxing out the numerous "F them"s and being there for my emotional well being.
• despite ending up in the emergency room
• My sister for helping with research, coordination, and putting her haggling skills to get some amazing deals for us.
• Jon's Sister-in-law for taking over the bouquet assembly because i just couldn't handle any more
• Our parents going above and beyond to help with coordination and opening their home to strangers
• Jon's brother and my sister for throwing a fun filled bachelor/ette party
• Jon's sister and boyfriend and my brothers for pitching in on anything we asked
• Jon's nephews for being awesome kids.

We are not traditional. But our wedding was uniquely ours. From the fairy lights in my bouquet, to the dearly departed pictures on Jon's boutonniere, to the traditional Lei's we wore, to the Xbox achievement unlocked sign we had the minister display during our first kiss. It was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. Our families combined and welcomed each other with open arms. Our two receptions were a whirlwind of fun. 

I hope that these bits of advice help make your wedding day a little easier. If nothing else, know that your wedding may not be what the wedding industry, other people, or tradition wants. You are the final authority, not a bride magazine or pinterest. But your wedding should be all about what matters most to both of you.

Also...avoid swans.

Geeky Wedding Invites

Our wedding invitations came together like a thing of geek beauty.

The epitome of us as geeks. The great thing about being a geek is you don't have to be limited to one fandom. But it grows with you over time. And who says you have to take the wedding invite seriously?

For us, we have two HUGE families. And it wasn't fair to ask so many people to travel to Washington where we live. So we decided to bring the shindig to them. Twice. 

We're also Italian and Hawaiian...we all know how to throw a great party without including all the fussy stuff. So we're going the laid back route.Sorry wedding industry...you're not getting me to shell out $$$$ for matching napkins and tablecloths. 

A lot of the invitees have commented positively on the wording for the Registry. 

We are fortunate enough to already have the customary items needed to start a home. 

But if you still wish to contribute something to our future together, we are registered at:

We live together. In the 21st century. And we only have one bed. Read into that what you will, but obviously we don't need the same kind of wedding gifts that were customary in the 1950's. I think this is becoming really common regarding modern brides and etiquette is a little hazy. Feel free to steal, fellow brides. :)

I feel horribly awkward asking for gifts no matter what the occasion so i thought good and hard about whether or not to have one at all. However, nor did i want to deal with 12 toasters and 37 towels a recently married friend received. Some people ask for donations for their honeymoon, others for charities that they love. 

For us, we're moving into a house soon, and we NEED stuff...we just can't store it right now. So we used Simple Registry.com...I'll let you know how it goes. Still too early to tell if guests are understanding it. 

Anne's tricks for Ukrainian Easter Eggs (Pysanky)

It's that time of year when I clear off my craft table, pull a box out from under my bed and set up to go back to my roots. It's Ukranian Easter Egg time!!!

A lot of people say "painted eggs". This is incorrect. They're made with a wax resist method. Meaning you cover the color you want to keep as opposed to covering the white area you want to hide. So it's backwards, in a sense. If you've ever written your name in that white crayon found in common easter egg kits, and it magically shows up afterward...well, this is the same thing, but a bit more elaborate.

What I love most about this tradition is that I was raised to make them for gifts only. To give the egg away is to give the gift of the meaning behind the symbols to the recipient. To keep them removes those blessings from your own life. Superstitious I know, but that's what I was told growing up. If nothing else, it makes me happy to see someone admire my work and I can tell them "Here, take it and enjoy.".

I've spent every year scouring my mom's stack of designs and books and pamphlets collected over the last 40 years and more recently, through the internet. On a typical year, I'll make a dozen eggs.  I love finding sites were masters offer their tips and tricks. I don't feel that I'm particularly a master, but I have some tricks of my own passed down through my grandmother and also just from trial and error. I hope this helps.

Disclaimer: This is not a step by step process for pysanky. Merely a collection of tips. I'm only sharing my personal experience of what works, not endorsing anything.

White: Fine, Blue: Medium, Red: Thick

Where do you get your special supplies?
I live in Seattle. And the best place I've found is the University Bookstore (associated with UW). They sell individual dyes, modern and traditional kistkas, and entire starter kits. I'm a fan of modern Delrin kistkas and have never tried an electric kistka, but i hear they are amazing. For large chunks of beeswax, check out a craft store candle making section. They usually sell 1 pound blocks that will last you 4 or 5 years. I break mine up into reasonable chunks with a hatchet or a hot knife. 
I've also had no trouble ordering through this website: http://www.ukrainiangiftshop.com/

What kind of eggs should i use?
If you're just starting, plain white eggs from your grocery store are perfect. White eggs are better because brown eggs will make the dye colors different. My mom swears by "fresh from the chicken's butt" eggs and goes searching all over for them. Whatever floats your boat. Always, always allow your eggs to come to room temperature. Condensation will not allow the wax to stick properly. As you get more advanced, try duck eggs and goose eggs, though be aware of what size jar you have your dye in. 

How do you store your dyes and for how long?
Wide mouth mason jars are your friend. I get them from Ace Hardware. I keep them in the cardboard divided box they come in and i have 10-12 colors at any time. Every year, the first thing i do is shake each dye and look for "floaties". Light dyes almost always have them, replace them. Check darker ones with a white plastic spoon. Then I do a tester egg. I divide an egg, label each section for a color while its still white, and put it through the dye progression (light to dark) using a wire egg lifter from a grocery store kid's easter egg kit. Slowly, I cover each  labeled section before placing it in the next dye. That tells me what colors are still good. If a color looks odd or is way too light, I dump it and make a new batch. Every other year, I will usually refresh all my colors just to be safe, but if they're still true to the colors, you can go longer. 

Why light to dark?
The color progression goes light to dark because you're replacing the dye at each level. If you put a lot of yellow eggs in a red dye, it will become orangy over time, but go the opposite direction and the dye will turn orangy a lot faster. So light to dark limits the visibility of color contamination. 

How do you keep your lines straight in pencil?
For lines through the middle of the egg (in any direction) i use a 1/4" thick rubber band and trace along its edge. It's a little tricky to hold, so pillow some paper towels under your hand just in case. 
For the side, nothing compares to Wayne Schmidt's toilet paper roll method:



An upgrade from a standard candle:
Candles are the traditional method, and they work well. But another option I like is an Alcohol Torch. It's a medical tool and it burns clean, steady and there's no smoke or wax drips. This is not a good idea around children because the flame is less visible. I got mine off of Amazon for about 15$. It requires high proof alcohol (91%) which I get at a drug store in the first aid section (standard is 70%). Just be careful and it's a handy tool.


My kistka is clogged! What can I do?
My white kistka gets clogged occasionally. First i'll empty the well back onto my beeswax clump. Then i'll heat the kistka until it's really smoking (not on fire). Then i plunge the point into the middle of the beeswax clump several times, reheating as necessary. After that, fill the well with a little beeswax and test it on a practice egg or practice paper to see if the flow has returned. This has always worked for me, but my mom also keeps a super fine wire to feed up the point, which is another method.

When do I empty my egg? And how?
At the end. Why? Because the innards of the egg will help it sink in the dye. At the end of the dye process, I will cover the entire egg in a thin coat of beeswax (Fill the well, heat it super hot, then flip it over so the wide end is down and smear it, reheating often, you'd be surprised how much you can cover with just a few well fulls and a hot kistka). This is overkill but I don't like to take risks with my pysanky. The egg white will ruin the dye so on the off chance I might get a little on my hand, I cover the egg. If you're doing big eggs, this may be impractical, so cover at least the top and bottom 1/4 of the egg. 
Make the hole: I've tried those egg drill that comes in the kit - they suck in my opinion. I don't have a dremel and no...a drill bit in a screwdriver doesn't work well, it cracks the egg from pressure. I do it like my mom taught me: With a corsage pin: the one with the big pearl on the end? yeah. Press the pin in firmly making 4 hole like a square. Then 4 more holes between those to make it more circular. Then more holes between those until you have a little dotted circle. Keep pushing between the holes until the perforation breaks all the way around. I do both top and bottom.
Empty the egg: I've used those yellow squeeze pumps. They work just fine. Just be careful to not suck egg backwards up the nozzle. But, I usually just use my mouth. The beeswax prevents the dye from getting on my lips as I blow in the top, and the egg part flows out the bottom. If you're worried about salmonella, use the pump. 

How do you display the eggs?
Honestly, we just get clear napkin rings from bed bath and beyond. They're the perfect size and while not as nice as the guilted pedestal you see in specialty stores, they're effective and still look nice. We have been gifted several from friends thanking my mom or me for teaching them. They have a special place in my mom's china cabinet (they've been emptied so they won't explode).

Through my father's side, I'm 1/4 Ukrainian. Ironically though, it's my mother, who has no Ukrainian heritage, that has passed on this tradition to me. My father's mother (full blood Ukrainian) taught my mother soon after they were married, finding that she had artistic talent. I think I started picking it up around 7 or 8 years old and have looked forward to it every year since. I hope I eventually have a kid to pass this onto myself.

All of these were made in the traditional wax resist method by me. No paint was involved.

I love the tradition and craftsmanship of this method. It's not unusual for me to sit for 4 or 5 hours, working on 2 or 3 eggs at a time. Truly, I enjoy it that much. I only do it for the few weeks of April, leading up to Easter, then the box goes back into storage until next year.

A mom with no makeup

I remember, in Junior high all the girls would start experimenting with makeup.
And they always looked so good.                        When i experimented, it looked like this:

    
I had NO idea what i was doing. My friends would expertly correct me with deft brush strokes i couldn't mimic. I would ask who showed them what to do and they always said "oh my mom". This kind of left me in a conundrum.

The first time i saw my mother wear makeup was her 25th Wedding Anniversary. She wore lipstick and that was it. I was about 10 at the time and i swear it threw me for a loop for a couple of hours.

That was also the last time i saw my mother wearing makeup and they just celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary (can i get a WOW?-for the anniversary, not the makeup thing).

I was forbidden to wear makeup until i was 16. Which meant i started hiding makeup in my locker at 13. I thought i was being so sneaky but mom knew, mostly because i would forget to wash it off before walking home. My feeble attempts at self expression through pigmentation usually led to my mom scowling at me saying "you'd look better without all that nonsense". and she'd make me wash it off with cold cream (which i now irrationally hate)

So by the time i got to college, i had gleaned enough tricks and information from my girlfriends to apply a decent made up face. Mom gave up the battle and just said i looked nice.

From my mother, I never learned things like how to moisturize properly, or what my colors were, or how to pick my shade of foundation. And for years i yearned for that kind of motherly advice.

But what i did learn turned out to be so much more valuable.

Somewhere in my lifetime I realized that makeup isn't necessary to have a good day. I could leave the house with no makeup at all. It wasn't required for me to take pride in my work, to look people in the eyes, to smile and say good morning. Even when i did feel like putting some on, it would look better with some simple touches as opposed to a full spackle and paint job. When i do a full face of makeup including foundation, i call it putting on my war paint because it's usually what i do when i know i'm going to be meeting with someone who will clearly be judging me. Like for dates or interviews or meeting with executives.

I think my skills would fit in perfectly at this job

Friends who had makeup wielding mothers often would say "oh i can never leave the house without at least mascara or tinted chapstick" or something that was their shield against the judgement of others. And i respect their preference. I don't feel that i'm better or anything. I just marvel at the different priorities that seem to derive from our mothers.

I went to the Wedding Expo and one of the hundreds of things i signed up for was a Mary Kay party to which i invited my mother. (for the record...I just wanted to play with colors for my skin, and did not enjoy being terrorized and bullied about the impending wrinkles by my consultant for 4 hours.) It was the second time in my life that I saw my mother in makeup. And it was WEIRD!!!!!

She looked nice and was an amazing sport for the party. I figured she would humor her two daughters who both wear makeup occasionally and then just be herself for my wedding. But now apparently she wants to wear makeup for my wedding. So i'm in the totally backwards position to teach my mom how to augment her features with makeup.

 I have no idea what changed her mind or if she somehow thinks that i want her to change. To me, she's my mom who may have the same pair of pants in 6 different colors and the same pair of shoes in 4 different colors. She's also this indomitable force against the fashion and makeup industry. And she taught me to see my beauty as a mixture of imperfections that do not require camouflage.

Maybe my sister and I have shown her that a little bit of makeup can be a fun enhancement. Or maybe mom's just trying to keep us on our toes.

Lapping everyone on the couch

My last post, i talked about all the changes that made the second half of my 2013 year SUCK. Needless to say, i wasn't focusing on ME at any point. I knew i was getting heavier and stress eating. So I avoided the scale and stairs like the plague.

About a week after Jon proposed, (so we're still back in November) we were scheduled to participate in a "get your numbers" health promotion which i was not looking forward to one bit. You go in, get poked and prodded and they give you your health numbers. Weight, BP, cholesterol, etc. Then counsel you on how to be healthy. Yeah, sounds like super duper fun, right?

But Jon wanted to do it especially with his workload he hadn't been taking care of himself either, and we both knew we needed and wanted to get our eating habits back in control. This would be a perfect opportunity to find our starting point. I put on a brave face, knowing my blood pressure numbers would make the nurse look at me in horrified shock. And indeed, he looked me square in the eye and said something cautionary about the variety of ways it could kill me too young.

But it wasn't until I got a reassuring look from Jon from across the room, that something clicked in my mind.

I'm getting married to this amazing man, and we only get the rest of our lives to be together. Do I want to cut that short?

Here was this future, that I had never considered the correlation with my health, staring me in the face. It wasn't all about getting thin for a wedding dress, though even I'll admit it's spurring some early extra effort. But my main reasons now are to live and spend as much time as possible with Jon. To be healthy enough to have children. Being healthy enough to help them grow and learn to be healthy as well.

I don't know why it took getting engaged for me to reach this realization. But, i hit my crossroads and turned to the harder path of weight-loss.

That week (still in November), i finally went to my doctor and to a local gym. In the past, I had dangerous collapsing issues. Aside from blood pressure, doctors couldn't figure out why it was happening. I tried to get my blood pressure under control, but i wasn't rich enough to handle the cost of multiple visits to the doctor. So i just tried to ignore it til it went away. Doctor Shiva-the-destroyer (she's scary when she's mad) seemed dubious that this time my resolve was real, but she started the process to control my blood pressure and approved me to start a workout regimen under a trainer's supervision.

The gym was all too happy to sign me up early before adding me to Jon's insurance. They assigned me a trainer named Ally, who was a former nurse, for a trial personal trainer session. She was one of those ladies that clearly has never been overweight and is determined to be your own personal cheerleader for the smallest things. I found her extremely annoying. Those "i know you can do it"s were just frustrating. My experience told me that just when i thought i was doing it, i would collapse, stop breathing, and probably konk my head on the way down.

She had me do a maneuver i had told her had caused tunnel vision in the past (my warning signal), so clearly something i already didn't want to do. And sure enough, i was breathing hard and very nervous when she got down on her knees in front of me and said "I'm right here, i'm not going to let anything happen."

I believed her. Really, truly, fundamentally BELIEVED her. For the first time, i felt i could trust a stranger to see just how much this scared me. I couldn't help myself, i started tearing up. We talked past our allotted time and she kept saying: "The hardest thing you have to do, is come back the next few times. Despite the soreness, despite the worry, despite the scheduling. Make it happen the next few times and it will start getting easier."

By that point i was so emotionally raw, that i was almost ready to believe her if she said the moon was made of cheese. Almost :). But it made sense, so i bit the bullet and committed to SIX MONTHS of the 1/2 hour trainer sessions 2x a week. I had gotten a promotion and a raise which certainly helped a LOT with the budgeting, but i knew i had to make it work. Plus the six months was now paid for so my frugal side was now determined to get my money's worth.

I wasn't sore after the first workout, but the second, third, fifth, tenth....oh yeah! I could barely move for the first month after every session and i was convinced my workouts were negated by the couch potato i was becoming because i was too sore to move. I complained incessantly to Jon about how i hated being sore every minute of every day in every place imaginable.

And it was HARD. Hard going in and watching fit women strut around in their workout bras and short shorts (Strange that even my perception of fit women has changed, I used to call them "twigs", so rude of me). Hard trying to find workout clothes in my size (come on, if we're supposed to get down to those sizes, give us cute clothes to start with!). Hard changing your eating habits from chocolate to dried fruit. Hard going into a yoga studio with 15 other thin people who don't know what it's like to have your boobs try to smother you in bridges or twist yourself into a pretzel with fat thighs getting in the way!

I don't know who you are, but you rock lady!

But with Ally's reminders at the end of every session "just come back", and the money already spent...i kept going in and teasing her about what new torture she had in store for me today. The first month, i thought i saw or felt a few changes, but it was nothing i could point at and say "it's gone!". The second month, i noticed that certain spots were less squishy, and i had bulges from muscles that were not there before. And then i realized recently, that i wanted more; I wasn't even tired after the 30 minute sessions. So i asked Ally for more butt-kicking.

It's been 3 months with Ally's ministrations and keeping my blood pressure in check.

• I'm just a few pounds shy of my first 20lbs
• I can do a full set of 10 pushups
• I can do almost 45 seconds of planks
• I'm not gasping for breath at the top of the stairs of our 3rd floor apartment
• I'm doing yoga weekly, increasing my flexibility and endurance
• I've only had 2 dizzy spells but no collapses. 
• My energy level has skyrocketed
• I can take my jeans off without unbuttoning
• Subsequently, I now require a belt
• Both Jon and I are eating healthier
• Co-workers have started commenting that i look like i've lost weight. 

In the scope of my goals, this is only the beginning. There's a long way to go and i'm thankful every day for Ally being my personal trainer and cheerleader. I'm thankful Jon is so supportive: Jon even signed up for his own trainer and regimen citing me as inspiration. "If you can do what you're doing with all the extra health crap on top...i have no excuse."

Don't think i've ever been someone's health inspiration before. It's still so tempting to eat a pint of ice cream, or an entire bucket of extra butter popcorn. It would be SO easy to just go back to ignoring it.
I don't think i'll ever WANT to workout over a netflix marathon. Or consider half a sandwich a meal. But it's becoming easier to make the choice for the healthier options.

For now, i know that i'm re-upping on the personal trainer sessions when the six months expires. I'm not confident enough to workout alone with the risk of collapsing still there. I'm thrilled to be seeing some tangible results, but I'm not satisfied yet. I never expect to be super thin or on the cover of a fitness magazine. Heck if i manage to make it to size 10, i'll be thinner than i've been since i hit puberty. Even if i'm never running around in a pushup bra and short shorts, just getting my body healthy will be enough for me. I just want to be healthy enough to live out my life.

Oh, and do the splits again. Yeah, that would be awesome at any weight.

Been a while...Been a crappy summer

I haven't posted anything since June 18th. that's over 6 months now. I had an immensely crappy summer followed by an even worse fall, then November hit and there was an even bigger surprise. Mostly there was so much going on that i never had the emotional time to get all my thoughts out into a post. The rest of it was not the sort of things i want the details of all over the internet. I'll try to tell the stories as best i can without revealing too much.

In my last post, i talked all the things that were gone.

Such as Boyfriend Jon's work schedule. That started in April....and didn't end until late October. 12 hour days, almost every day of the week. He was exhausted and frustrated nearly all the time. To each of our credit, we only had one blowout where our emotional turmoil got the best of us and we took it out on each other verbally. But even that only lasted one angry phone call and we made up a few hours later. I don't want to sound like i'm a needy clingy person...but i missed him whenever he was gone. Our time to be together became infrequent but precious. Still we managed to get in a few camping trips and a couple weekends where literally all we did was simply BE at home together.
Of course...when the schedule ended, it was weird. And i ended up having to ask him to be out of the house so i could finish his christmas gifts without him seeing. A compromise was found where i worked behind a screen (a folding table leaning up against the couch blocking my work from his view...but he could still see my face).

Another thing is gone...and all i can say is good riddance. Someone i care about deeply was in a relationship with...well....the only way i can think of him now is as a con artist. Because that's what he did. He came in like a whirlwind and swept a very grounded person off her feet. He charmed her and wooed her and even put a ring on her finger.
But then things started to sour over the summer. He had tales of woe about his finances and he worked all the time. He was a very private person so he didn't want her talking to others about the problems he was having. So quietly, she helped fund so many things for him. Because she loved him, completely. Even moved to a different city, into a house that was awful for her elderly dog and had spiders infesting the lawn....but the money started running out. And things started to get worse. We all knew something was up, but she wouldn't tell us any details.
And one day...in an email...he ended everything and said he was moving out and only showed up once more to get his stuff, clearly having tried to time it so she wouldn't be there.
With a lot of coaxing, the whole story started coming out. The family and the friends were all shocked. We had all been conned by his entrancing stories, the seemingly unbreakable devotion he displayed for her, the simple fact that she was completely in love. He conned everyone, myself included, and shattered her heart.

So we did what friends and family do best. We circled the wagons around her and helped her get back on her feet. We talked, hugged, and helped until she was grounded again.
I'm so proud to say that she used this crappy experience to change careers into something that made her happy (and made her more money), she moved out of that house and into a new temporary place until she can move back to the city that suits her personality, and she is making plans to go back to school. She really channeled her anger and hurt into a very positive path.

Fast forward to September, and i'll tell you the rest of my crappy 6 months.

My uncle fell off his deck onto his head/shoulder area. Even worse luck...his head managed to find a single loose brick on the ground for it to land on.
Thankfully, someone was home and heard the crash and found him almost immediately so he was able to get help right away.
The tally of injuries were as follows: His left ear was nearly severed, a massive concussion, broken collarbone and shoulder blade, 5 broken ribs on his left side and 2 on his right, and he somehow managed to rip his toenail off. He was on a breathing and feeding tube for 2 full weeks, and in the ICU at Harborview for 2 months, then he was kept in the Acute care for an additional month. Thankfully the amazing doctors and nurses and PT trainers did an amazing job and my uncle is almost back to his usual self.
During this time, tempers and emotions were high to put things mildly. Somehow my mother and I ended up trying to be the peace keepers between certain members of the families, both working from opposite angles. That took up every ounce of my mental and emotional strength since i could see both sides merits and shortcomings.

I celebrated the day my uncle was able to go home with some reservations. I was so so so happy that he had recovered enough to go home. But i worried about the emotional healing and the fortitude of several parties involved.
Things seem to have found an unsteady equilibrium, but i check in every now and then to see if i can lend an ear or a different perspective.

Then when i thought i couldn't take another major change, November 1st hit.

Standing in front of my NaNoWriMo group of dear friends, Boyfriend Jon, not typically a big speech maker,  put his arm around me and started a countdown, explaining all our milestones:

6 NaNoWriMo's have been done while we've known each other
5 NaNo's that we've done together as a couple
4 year anniversary
3 cheers for all the work i put into my meetings
2 writers in love
1 simple question

and he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

to which i replied, with my usual eloquence,..."oh hell yeah."

Honestly, i could never have gotten through the shit storm that was my 2013 summer and fall without him by my side. And it was an amazing turn around from all the awfulness to have something so wonderful to celebrate.

I listened to my grandmother's uncouth advice when i picked him: "Will you still love him when he farts and has sagging parts?" and the answer is yes. I've never imagined being married to anyone until i met him. there was always a family, but the future husband was always faceless and abstract in my daydreams. Now i see Jon, clearly, across the daydreamed dinner table with kids screaming about not wanting to eat peas, and i can already hear the jokes he's going to crack. Or the calm and sage advice he'll pull out just when i'm ready to tear my hair out over a really bad day. I don't need a diamond and a huge party. I just need him with me to face whatever the future brings.

So it is my pleasure to introduce you to my Betrothed.

Gone

These last couple have weeks have been all about people being gone.

Boyfriend Jon is working harder than ever this summer. Since i leave for work before 7am and he's starting to frequently get home between 8-9pm, i hardly see him. To give credit where credit is due. Boyfriend Jon took on some extra chores to help out and i've been seeing random bouquets often, so i know he's thinking of me as much as i'm thinking of him.

It's weird having my live in-best friend gone all the time. It makes me thankful for Kira-dog to make sure i have company even if she just ignores me when i talk to her. He finally walks in and flops on the couch just in time for me to announce i need to head to bed so i can get up again for work. Often our only interactions are a few emails during the day, and a brief summary of our days before bed.

But what we lack in interaction during the week we more than make up for on the weekends. Boyfriend Jon has been serenading me with his ukulele, following me to family functions, going with me to the dog parks, and even trying to bake something together.

Allow me to segue into our "I Love Lucy-esque Malasada Blob Fiasco". We decided it would be fun to try to make Malasadas (Portuguese doughnut that is so popular in Hawaii that the day before lent is known as Malasada Day). We probably should have known that we were in trouble when the recipe called for 9 teaspoons of yeast, 12 eggs and 5lbs of flour.
But we pushed on in ignorance...having to get creative with my kitchenaid to fit all these ingredients in the bowl. Then came the blob as all that yeast got to work and it spilled over the sides of the largest aluminum pan we could find at the grocery store.
It was at this point Boyfriend Jon started singing the "i love lucy" theme song making us both laugh hysterically. Plus the dough was sticky, gloopy, and got all over the place as we tried to drop clumps into hot oil without burning ourselves. The end result was pretty tasty, b
ut we had at least 100 malasadas for 7 people.

There's another person in my life who is gone. Leila Ball, whom i always called grandma, passed away last week. Even though technically she's only my cousin's grandma. So....grandma in law? But since we spent our childhoods together, i and my brother Johnny got rolled into the Grandkids group. The news was expected since she was 90+ with cancer and having a very rough time of it. While i will miss her gentle voice at our family gatherings, i'm glad she's no longer in pain.


And finally there's another missing piece of my life. My father retired and decided he wanted to travel the USA immediately after. So they've packed up and left my childhood home behind headed for Idaho, Yosemite, South Dakota, Georgia, Virginia, and New York. For a month and a half, my parents...who are totally homebodies and rarely leave a 5 mile radius...are completely gone. Out of state, incommunicado, gone.

I like to think i don't rely on them very much, but knowing that Boyfriend Jon scoffs whenever i say that....it's very weird to know they're gone. My brother will be house sitting soon, but i went over last night to check on the house and was overwhelmed by this creepy feeling of a dead silent house. Coming from a 6 person family, that house has never in my life been that quiet. Sure I've been over there when there's no one home, but even then, the furnace or AC is on, my mom's computer whirring. Perhaps it was just my imagination, but the profound silence creeped me out!

I'm certain that myself, my siblings, my cousins, and Boyfriend Jon will all adjust just fine to the sudden changes, but the suddenness of so many things being gone
all at once really hit me last night, standing in the silence and heat of a house that no one calls home right now. It feels like something big just happened yet i know it's no big deal.

After 2 Months with the Porch Potty

So following up the design and construction of the Porch Potty for Kira, here is how it worked for us.

Good stuff!

1. Kira now uses the Porch Potty on her own. It only took about 2 weeks before she understood that that was her home potty, and that the green stuff downstairs was ok to pee in too. Now we have no more issues with her bathroom needs. 
2. We added a dog door insert for a sliding glass door so that she could go out there without us. 
• A bunch of cheese, treats, and throwing her precious dog toys outside, or putting her outside and walking away while calling to her eventually got her to push her way through without problem. Don't give up on this training. 
• This was safe for us since the walls of our patio are solid and there's only a tiny gap underneath that she can't possibly fit through. If you're in an apartment where its safe, i highly recommend these. We got ours second hand from craigslist for 70$ as opposed to the 150+ or retail. 
• We had to remove the heavy plastic flap for something more lightweight. It wasn't as air tight, but now she has no fear of the clank the other one was making. 
3. The cleanup has been a breeze with the latest set up. 

The Refining Process (things we changed):

1. I had forgotten to go buy the kitty litter in my initial design when we set this up. So instead, we put pee pads underneath the tray for the sod to drip the pee onto. This worked pretty well until it rained...more on that later.
2. We started with Sod from my parents back yard. Unfortunately Kira decided that this was a tasty treat and proceeded to try to eat the sod. 
3. We then switched to a commercial sod that was low cut and not as easy for her to pull up. While she didn't eat this as much, it was comprised of a clay like dirt that held onto the water (pee) very well and quickly developed a stench.
4. So then we got some second hand Astroturf. and cut it so it fit inside of the tray. Yes, it drained just fine.
• I cut the astro turf so i could tuck a little edge underneath, then used a heavy duty staple gun to secure the turf to the plastic tray. Make sure you get all the stray threads/corners clipped or tucked under. 
• This was around the time that Kira figured out how to escape her pen and we tried leaving her alone during the day. Let's just say....the first several rounds of astroturf....didn't fare to well against a bored puppy. 
• So we stopped leaving her out and now we've had the same astroturf in place for over a month. 
5. Back to the pee pads. It's pretty easy to tell when the pee pads need to be changed. They started to smell through the astroturf. And also, living in the great northwest means rainstorms hold more water than puppy pads can hold. From experience i can tell you it's not fun lifting up the tray to find an inch of pee infused water. 
6. So we finally got some odor control kitty litter and put that on top of some pee pads under the tray (kitty littler is dangerous for dogs to eat so make sure you have a barrier between the two). Now we just scoop out the clumps every few days and add a little more kitty litter when it's getting low. Really i think this was the best solution after all. Can't believe it took me over a month to go get some silly kitty litter! 

The final "perfect" solution: From top down. 

Astroturf, secured to tray with heavy duty staples along the edges. 

plastic soda tray

Kitty litter

pee pads/plastic 

wooden tray frame

Maintenance Routine:

Every couple of days we scoop out the clumps and flush them. Adding more kitty litter if needed. 

Once a week, I take the tray with the attached astroturf into the shower and run water on it for a few minutes to clean it off.  

Next month, i plan to spray it with some detergent to give it a good cleaning. Should last a long time.

If I didn't have a dog...

Today Kira is 6 months old. What did we do for this milestone? We took her to get spayed, chipped, and her teeth cleaned. The surgery went well and she's recovering at the vet's until i pick her up tomorrow. But still, that's 28 hours without my dog!!

Boyfriend Jon dropped her off this morning and sent me this text: : "She's been dropped off. Didn't even look back when the Dr. took her. Said they'll call in 1-2 hours to let us know how the surgery went."

Of course this led to all sorts of jokes revolving around "It's all fun and games until someone gets put in a cone!"

As i continued my day at work, i had to keep reminding myself that Kira wasn't where she normally was.

And by lunchtime, i found myself remembering what it was like to not have a dog...and feeling so sad that i thought i had a full life back then. Just 4 months my life has totally changed to the point where just a few hours without her makes me feel like a fish out of water.

If I didn't have Kira...

• There would be no nose art on my car's windows which drive my window OCD crazy
• I wouldn't have to put away the car seat covers which take the place of having passengers
• My car wouldn't have a faint odor of wet dog from our many trips to the dog park
• Boyfriend Jon and I wouldn't head home every single day at lunch to find what new piece of her bathroom she's torn to pieces because we're gone. 
• I wouldn't have to include the status of every bowl movement in each conversation with Boyfriend Jon
• I wouldn't have to fight to get her off the couch when i'm eating something
• My favorite tv shows and even conversations wouldn't have to compete with her INCESSANT squeaky snake!
• I wouldn't have nail and teeth marks all over my body from the jumping, pawing, and missing the toy and accidentally biting my fingers when we're playing.
• I wouldn't have an area of my home that smells like a urinal.
• Our floor wouldn't be littered with dog toys, rawhide bones, tennis balls and bits of fluff from who knows what. 
• Boyfriend Jon and I could get amorous without her intense desire to investigate!!!!!

But at the same time, If i didn't have Kira....

• I wouldn't have a co-pilot who whines and paws at me until i put down the window for her to stick her head out so she can channel her inner BAT DOG!!!!
• I wouldn't have someone to warm my feet when i'm curled on the couch.
• I wouldn't have someone who was bat shit crazy ecstatic that i came home (ok, Boyfriend Jon does a pretty good job of this but he just can't wiggle his butt quite that fast)
• I wouldn't have someone come and lick my hand clean when i'm sick or not felling well on the couch.
• I wouldn't have so much pride at all the commands and tricks Kira has learned in just six months without professional training. 
• I wouldn't have video after video and picture after picture which make me laugh even when i'm in the blackest moods

I guess once you go wet noses and fur, you can't go back. I can't wait to have my pup back home where she belongs. 

Details of DIY Drainless Porch Potty

In my last post, I showed you my concept for a porch potty for my little dog. But as we all know, sometimes things work better in theory than in practice. Thankfully, this doesn't seem to be one of those times.

I forgot to get a before picture, but this pile of wood used to be a pallet i salvaged from a dumpster. The results were a small sheet of plywood (2'x3'), 3 two-by-fours (3' long) and what i'm going to refer to as remaining scrap. (might have gotten a little over zealous with the disassembling) 

If you decide to go the salvage route...it's very helpful to have two people, crowbars, and hammers with the claws on the back. My dad and i disassembled this pallet in about 10 minutes.

This is the supplies i gathered: The soda crate in front is only 1.5" tall (when laid flat). But if you get a more common style that's taller, you may need to change the size of your wood tray or cut it.. 

IMPORTANT!: just because it's called a 2x4, doesn't mean it's actual measurements are 2"x 4". It's actually more like 1.5" x 3.5". This link explains WHY. 

STEP 1: Cut down the Plywood down to size

I have a table saw available. But you could use a circular saw, a saws-all, a jig saw...basically just get it cut down to size. I originally was going to have the crate sit INSIDE of the wood tray walls, so i took the measurements of my tray and added 1.5 inches to each side for the width of the 2x4. 

STEP 2: Cut the walls down to size

Remember, i'm using all salvage wood. So i had to adjust the raw pieces before cutting them to length. 

Since the crate i got was so short...i decided to "rip" the 2x4s (cut along the grain aka...longwise) down to 1.5" by 1.5". And just in case you're wondering...yes i actually did all the work myself. Dad just sat back and took pictures - which may explain some of the shaky, tilted or unfocused pictures to follow.

Then i cut the walls to length. 

STEP 3: Dry fit assembly

No glue or screws or nails yet. You just want to make sure everything fits together. 

For this, i used what's called "butt joints". The end of the wood butts up against the side of the wood to form a joint. Had i wanted to make this a little nicer, i could have cut the corners at 45 degree angles and "Mitered" the joints. But this is for a dog and she happens to enjoy butts :)

It was at this point that my dad and I noticed something interesting about our crate: There was a lip on the edge!

So the design changed slightly: We moved the walls in slightly so that edge of the crate sits ON TOP of the walls at the lip instead of INSIDE. To do this, we cut the plywood and the wall pieces down just a little bit and moved the walls in and added a piece in the center to help support the middle of the crate (that's the little square in the middle: i cut off a small end of the scrap from the walls and glued it to middle of the plywood tray)

Originally, i was going to have at least 5 of those support pieces, one in each corner and one in the middle...but the lip on the crate took place of the corner pieces. The point of these was to keep the crate off the bottom of the tray where kitty litter/pee pads will collect the pee. 

STEP 4: Sand.

You don't want the plastic to get punctured, so you'll want to sand down all the splinters and sharp edges. 150 grit sandpaper should be fine. You can do a higher grit count if you're using nicer wood. But honestly, there was only so much i could do with a scrap pallet. 

STEP 5: Final assembly

I coated the bottom of the walls with glue and clamped them into place.

Then to secure it, i flipped it over and got out a trusty nail gun. You could do this with screws or regular nails, but...air nailers are so much fun!!!

Space the nails about 4-6" apart all the way around. 

For good measure, i screwed the walls to each other as well. these, were 4 inch deck screws and i pre-drillled the holes to prevent splitting. 

STEP 6: Finishing

I ran the sander along the edges again, and filled in some of the gaps with wood filler then set it up to dry. 

At some point between the point that last picture was taken, i added short square feet to the bottom to keep the tray off the deck so moisture wouldn't get trapped. Those were just glued and air nailed down. But unfortunately none of the pictures i have shows them. 

I suppose i could have waterproofed it, painted flowers on it or attached LED lights to it... but I just used a can of spray paint my dad had in his cabinet and let it dry. 

Then I took the whole kaboodle home, up 3 flights of steps (really this wasn't bad, it was maybe 15 pounds of material) put a pee pad on the bottom (until we get kitty litter), laid the crate in and covered with grass i stole from my parent's back yard. 

Drum roll please!!! 

Kira wasn't really sure what to make of it at first. Apparently it was good enough to eat because we spent the whole first day trying to get her to stop eating the grass. 

The second day, had the same problem. 

We'd let her out there, she'd try to eat it, then refuse to pee on it even when we shut her out there and waited. The minute we let her in, straight to the pee pad. I started to wonder if it just wasn't going to happen and this was a big waste of time and effort. 

Finally I did something a little different. 

Since i usually get up first around 6...i'm on morning potty patrol. I let her out of her crate to go potty and she runs right over to her pad and goes immediately. So this morning, i picked her up, and carried her outside and put her right on the grass patch. She wiggled for a minute, but then squatted and went potty on it. I praised her, gave her treats and a long belly rub. 

And my little Wigglebutt pranced her way back into the house very proud of herself. 

I'm setting a reminder by May to touch back to this topic and give you an update. Cover what worked, and what didn't, what issues we ran into and how we went about fixing them. 

I hope this is helpful to all the do it yourself dog people out there. 

DIY No-Drain Puppy patch for Apartments

Shameless i'm in love with my dog plug->; 
Besides the normal adorableness of simply being a puppy, shes silly, smart, and learning all sorts of new things. But she's not yappy at all! I'm serious...she almost never barks, is good with other dogs, people and even children. No food or toy aggression except when she forgets your hand is not part of her toy collection. Really, Boyfriend Jon and I have a wonderful dog and she has really become part of our family.

Probably the most impressive feat is her bowel control. She not only never messes her crate, but figured out the pee pads in a few weeks, and now at 5 months only has accidents where she's slightly off the pee pad. But we started noticing a slight problem. She's SO good at holding her pee, she won't go when she's out for a walk. We have to stay out there and wait for her ability to hold it to run out. Otherwise, she makes a mad dash for the pee pads when we get back home. We've tried rewarding and praising her whenever she does go outside but the message doesn't seem to be sticking. The obvious solution would be to make the grass her exclusive potty. But we live on the 3rd floor and I'm not walking down 3 flights of stairs first thing at 6:00am in winter in the northwest. Not happening. Period. Exclamation point!

So Boyfriend Jon and I started brainstorming solutions to this problem.

The obvious solution seemed to be get a potty patch, porch potty, patio potty, piddle patch, deck dumping ground. whatever you want to call it.

But what i came to realize is that those things are either too small or outrageously expensive!

AS SEEN ON TV!
I don't know about you, but almost all of those items i've seen on tv are cheap, fall apart or less than functional when used in real world situations. It's a great idea in concept, but i doubt it will work well in real life. Also, i don't really want to have to deal with a resivoir of pee.
CUSTOM BUILT FANCY VERSION
300$ for a potty that has built in sprinklers to help keep the odor down? I personally don't have that kind of money to flush.
SOD OPTION!
I've seen lots of diy mini sod gardens. Great idea! But in order to not create a sespool of fermenting pee-mud, you need to drain them. Which i'm pretty sure my downstairs neighbor wouldn't appreciate.
ASTRO-TURF
Similar to the sod garden, this idea uses astro-turf in place of the sod. While great idea in theory, you run into the same problem as sod...you need to have a drain of some kind  Also...it's nearly impossible to find a rug size piece of astro-turf. You either have to buy enough to cover your entire living room, or several tiny squares which makes it cost-ineffective.

I took all the great ideas the internet had to offer and refined them to suit my apartment where i can't drain it off the side. I think a lot of people have this problem. Probably the best idea i saw belongs to some fellow Seattlites. So if you're looking for one with a drain...here's their concept. So i'm going to take a lot of their idea and tweak it.

So, being a prolific do it yourself-er, here's my plan to get around gimmicks, sespools, cost, and having to walk downstairs at 6am to wait out my dog's ability to hold it. Please forgive my pencil sketching being hard to see but the concept is this:

Basic concept is a layered box.

• Layer 1: Wooden Tray 
• with sides to contain the leaks This should be about 2-3 inches tall. It's just to create a frame for the whole thing. Since my grid is all one piece, i'm considering putting small chunks in the corners and center to help keep the second tray up and away from the kitty litter. I'm also going to put some small feet on the bottom to prevent rain water from getting trapped under it
• Layer 2: Heavy duty plastic 
• to protect the wood
• Layer 3: Kitty litter! 
• the idea of having to clean out a liquid resivoir doesn't appeal to me. This was totally Boyfriend Jon's idea and it was quite brilliant. 
• Layer 4: A grid- 
• I found a discarded soda crate bottom for support and to create a barrier between my curious pup and the toxic kitty litter. I plan on fitting this inside of the tray with just the handles showing. The point of this is to keep the sod up and away from the kitty litter so the litter doesn't suck moisture out of the sod.
• Layer 5: Screening 
• Run of the mill screen from an old screen door my dad has had lurking in the back yard since i was....10? Maybe this is unnecessary but i figure it will help keep the sod and kitty litter separate.  
• Layer 6: Either sod or astro-turf. 
• I plan on experimenting with both and seeing which is better but since my dad has an abundance of moss infested lawn, he's generously offered to let me take whatever i want for free. So free sod? yes please.

Although I'm a sworn dog person, i must say that cat people have found a superior way to manage a cat's urine. Clumping and odor neutralizing technology (in theory) is a great way to maintain this design without running a drain onto my neighbor's patio.

I was able to scavenge a wood pallet for the wooden tray, the soda crate, the plastic, and the screening. I know i can purloin the sod from my dad, but home depot sells a 2x4 foot section for just $3.50. So really, even without scavenging too hard, this design can be made for less than any of the internet options. And it can be sized to any breed.

(Helpful hit for new DIYers - major hardware stores will cut their wood to size for you usually at little to no cost. so you can make it long and narrow, square...whatever works for your living space)

I realize this is just the design, my next post will include pictures and dimensions for those that need a little more detail.