Wednesday, April 9, 2014

A mom with no makeup

I remember, in Junior high all the girls would start experimenting with makeup.
And they always looked so good.                        When i experimented, it looked like this:
    
I had NO idea what i was doing. My friends would expertly correct me with deft brush strokes i couldn't mimic. I would ask who showed them what to do and they always said "oh my mom". This kind of left me in a conundrum.

The first time i saw my mother wear makeup was her 25th Wedding Anniversary. She wore lipstick and that was it. I was about 10 at the time and i swear it threw me for a loop for a couple of hours.

That was also the last time i saw my mother wearing makeup and they just celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary (can i get a WOW?-for the anniversary, not the makeup thing).

I was forbidden to wear makeup until i was 16. Which meant i started hiding makeup in my locker at 13. I thought i was being so sneaky but mom knew, mostly because i would forget to wash it off before walking home. My feeble attempts at self expression through pigmentation usually led to my mom scowling at me saying "you'd look better without all that nonsense". and she'd make me wash it off with cold cream (which i now irrationally hate)

So by the time i got to college, i had gleaned enough tricks and information from my girlfriends to apply a decent made up face. Mom gave up the battle and just said i looked nice.

From my mother, I never learned things like how to moisturize properly, or what my colors were, or how to pick my shade of foundation. And for years i yearned for that kind of motherly advice.

But what i did learn turned out to be so much more valuable.

Somewhere in my lifetime I realized that makeup isn't necessary to have a good day. I could leave the house with no makeup at all. It wasn't required for me to take pride in my work, to look people in the eyes, to smile and say good morning. Even when i did feel like putting some on, it would look better with some simple touches as opposed to a full spackle and paint job. When i do a full face of makeup including foundation, i call it putting on my war paint because it's usually what i do when i know i'm going to be meeting with someone who will clearly be judging me. Like for dates or interviews or meeting with executives.
I think my skills would fit in perfectly at this job
Friends who had makeup wielding mothers often would say "oh i can never leave the house without at least mascara or tinted chapstick" or something that was their shield against the judgement of others. And i respect their preference. I don't feel that i'm better or anything. I just marvel at the different priorities that seem to derive from our mothers.

I went to the Wedding Expo and one of the hundreds of things i signed up for was a Mary Kay party to which i invited my mother. (for the record...I just wanted to play with colors for my skin, and did not enjoy being terrorized and bullied about the impending wrinkles by my consultant for 4 hours.) It was the second time in my life that I saw my mother in makeup. And it was WEIRD!!!!!

She looked nice and was an amazing sport for the party. I figured she would humor her two daughters who both wear makeup occasionally and then just be herself for my wedding. But now apparently she wants to wear makeup for my wedding. So i'm in the totally backwards position to teach my mom how to augment her features with makeup.

 I have no idea what changed her mind or if she somehow thinks that i want her to change. To me, she's my mom who may have the same pair of pants in 6 different colors and the same pair of shoes in 4 different colors. She's also this indomitable force against the fashion and makeup industry. And she taught me to see my beauty as a mixture of imperfections that do not require camouflage.

Maybe my sister and I have shown her that a little bit of makeup can be a fun enhancement. Or maybe mom's just trying to keep us on our toes.

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