So on November 24th at 4:50pm, i completed the designated 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo.
And then i stopped writing.
I can't really explain why other than to tell you that my brain keeps demanding that i fix this crappy first draft that i wrote. Yet, i seem to be finding every excuse possible to ignore it.
I've finished the entire Hunger Games trilogy and loved every second of the books. They're complex, twisting, and raw real...not teflon real. you know what i mean: the main character never suffers anything worse than a hangnail. These books were marvelous.
I did write an email apologizing to my read-along-ers and explaining what i had meant to do, especially after i had figured out a much better way to go about it.
I planned out my reward for reaching the 50k: a hour long massage that my back is despairingly in need of
I planned a triple date out with my fellow NaNo-ers where even I will be wearing a dress (gasp)
I planned out my christmas gifts for my family and Jon's family
I planned out my gift to myself: a new duvet cover which i'm sewing because anything i like is over 200$
Basically i did everything i could to avoid the rest of my story. Perhaps it was burn out...perhaps it was frustration that it didn't turn out the way i had hoped. All i know, is that i'm ready for December.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 23
If it hadn't been for the severe sleep deprivation, i might have finished last night.
Yup you read that right. my current word count is 48,011k, and if i didn't need these silly sleep things...i probably would have kept going and reached 50 last night.
As it was i was starting to feel physical complications from my late nights and early mornings. I had a muscle knot under my right shoulder blade that was so painful that i could feel it every time i breathed. And i had scary level dark bags under my eyes. Let me tell you, i do not look pretty after chronic lack of sleep.
I did the only thing i knew how to do. I laid on the floor of my apartment with an electric blanket draped over my back turned up on high. And then i had the wonderful Boyfriend Jon massage the bad knot hard. And then i left the blanket on for another hour, typing on my story while still laying on the floor. When i checked later, the knot had dissipated for the most part.
However it is a little bit sad that it took me until 47k to write even a single scene that i had planned out before Nano started. However, the hotel chase scene was fun.
Tonight i'll reach 50. and then immediately book a massage with someone with super strong hands that can grind all the other knots out of my back and neck.
Then we'll see about finishing Foolish Luck and fixing the first 2/3rds of the story so it's not so unbelievably boring.
Yup you read that right. my current word count is 48,011k, and if i didn't need these silly sleep things...i probably would have kept going and reached 50 last night.
As it was i was starting to feel physical complications from my late nights and early mornings. I had a muscle knot under my right shoulder blade that was so painful that i could feel it every time i breathed. And i had scary level dark bags under my eyes. Let me tell you, i do not look pretty after chronic lack of sleep.
I did the only thing i knew how to do. I laid on the floor of my apartment with an electric blanket draped over my back turned up on high. And then i had the wonderful Boyfriend Jon massage the bad knot hard. And then i left the blanket on for another hour, typing on my story while still laying on the floor. When i checked later, the knot had dissipated for the most part.However it is a little bit sad that it took me until 47k to write even a single scene that i had planned out before Nano started. However, the hotel chase scene was fun.
Tonight i'll reach 50. and then immediately book a massage with someone with super strong hands that can grind all the other knots out of my back and neck.
Then we'll see about finishing Foolish Luck and fixing the first 2/3rds of the story so it's not so unbelievably boring.
Friday, November 18, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 18
I'm sorry that i'm not keeping up with my daily slog of thoughts during NaNo this year.
A lot is going on in my personal life, and my professional life and i just try to keep my head above water. I've barely had time to write while at work, even when i stay through my lunch hour. and then i come home and try to keep my hands off of Boyfriend Jon. No, get your minds out of the gutter, it's so that he can heat them up with his furnace of a torso.
Then there's been the endless task of making myself comfortable enough to concentrate on writing. All my normal tricks haven't been working. My back starts to ache on the couch, my butt when i'm sitting on the floor, i can't put my feet up on the dining table and i no longer have a desk due to my crazy tiny apartment. Even my characters are being uncooperative. I specifically chose characters that are NOT the strong silent type. But when i write them, they keep trying to be.
Everything this year just seems off. I can't explain how, just disappointingly off.
Normally, by the time i'm past the halfway point, i'm desperately searching for a climax to my story, which is always the hardest part for me. This year, I've been struggling with breaking out of the monotony of their normal lives. I can't for the life of me thing of how to weave mythology into the beginning, and really don't want to have this imaginary line that they cross somewhere on the Atlantic and suddenly, gods and legends become real.
For over 35,000 words and all the way up till now, I've spent my NaNo time writing the extensive back story that i thought i needed to write in order for the parts that i wanted to write all along to make any sense.
It took me 17k to get them out of america.
It took me another 17 to get them off the damn boat on their trans Atlantic crossing.
Then i stupidly put them on a train. And after three thousands words of that, i finally had enough.
This is not the story i wanted to write. It's boring, and my characters are about as deep as a birdbath. I cannot take another 15k words to get things to start happening.
Today is the 18th! Are you kidding me? I've wasted over half the month on the back story? Please someone smack me upside the head with a shoe, i'm such an idiot. There's no hook for the readers. I feel so sorry for the few people that have been reading along. It's so bad. I know it's bad, and the only way that i can think of to fix it is to just jump ahead of all the boring stuff, and worry about how to connect it later.
I can't take this anymore. I'm terrified now that i'll get to November 30th and will barely have written any of the exciting and gripping tale that i went into NaNo trying to write. And since i really don't do much writing outside of NaNo, i don't want this story to fall by the wayside and never get picked back up again. It has so much potential if i could just stop writing about the fricken train.
My NaNo this year was not meant to be this boring back story. And as of right now, the back story ends.
Ok, random plot twist generator....um no, nijas do not work...lets try again....
A lot is going on in my personal life, and my professional life and i just try to keep my head above water. I've barely had time to write while at work, even when i stay through my lunch hour. and then i come home and try to keep my hands off of Boyfriend Jon. No, get your minds out of the gutter, it's so that he can heat them up with his furnace of a torso.
Then there's been the endless task of making myself comfortable enough to concentrate on writing. All my normal tricks haven't been working. My back starts to ache on the couch, my butt when i'm sitting on the floor, i can't put my feet up on the dining table and i no longer have a desk due to my crazy tiny apartment. Even my characters are being uncooperative. I specifically chose characters that are NOT the strong silent type. But when i write them, they keep trying to be.
Everything this year just seems off. I can't explain how, just disappointingly off.
Normally, by the time i'm past the halfway point, i'm desperately searching for a climax to my story, which is always the hardest part for me. This year, I've been struggling with breaking out of the monotony of their normal lives. I can't for the life of me thing of how to weave mythology into the beginning, and really don't want to have this imaginary line that they cross somewhere on the Atlantic and suddenly, gods and legends become real.
It took me 17k to get them out of america.
It took me another 17 to get them off the damn boat on their trans Atlantic crossing.
Then i stupidly put them on a train. And after three thousands words of that, i finally had enough.
This is not the story i wanted to write. It's boring, and my characters are about as deep as a birdbath. I cannot take another 15k words to get things to start happening.
I can't take this anymore. I'm terrified now that i'll get to November 30th and will barely have written any of the exciting and gripping tale that i went into NaNo trying to write. And since i really don't do much writing outside of NaNo, i don't want this story to fall by the wayside and never get picked back up again. It has so much potential if i could just stop writing about the fricken train.
My NaNo this year was not meant to be this boring back story. And as of right now, the back story ends.
Ok, random plot twist generator....um no, nijas do not work...lets try again....
Monday, November 14, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 14
I have really got to get more stern with myself over the subject of NaNo and the subject of sleep. Staying up until after midnight on a night when i need to be up at six is not a good idea. I know this very well from previous years when i have stumbled into work and done everything possible to not let my head droop onto my desk where i will surely fall into a deep snoring slumber.
Yet every year, i end up growing bags under my eyes and yawning through a meeting or two. Really, by now i should know better. And still, that didn't stop me from hitting the snooze button three times more than i should have...sleeping in an additional half hour this morning. Too late to grab a shower (thank god for dry shampoo) too late to put together a new outfit (thank god for cardigans) and too late to arrive on time (mostly because i almost forgot my badge).
But i'm here. Working away as my mind feels like it's filled with fuzz.
Three pieces of good news.
1) I decided to take a break at lunch and re-read what i have done so far in my story. It started out to just be a reminder, but I ended up listening to my voice as an author. I had been thinking that my story beginning was 14k words of pure crap. But in reality, it wasn't half bad. It's drawn out and there's very little to keep anyone reading, but the writing is good and my characters are talking a great deal more than normal. So thus far, it's just a slow start story. Which is better than i had expected from myself. I know we're all our worst critics. But it feels about 10x as molasses like when it takes you a day to get through each chapter.
2) I found my Kindle! it was hiding in the couch cushion. this is a good thing because over the weekend, i wasn't very inclined to write as i should have been and i was able to pick up the Hunger Games that i had just barely started before NaNo. Normally, i intensely dislike first person narrative books. But this one has genuinely captivated me. I like the setting and the character is believable. I'm always a sucker for a female who's a survivor. Although the story line is extremely similar to Battle Royale (Koushun Takami) which was written about 5 years earlier...it's still good in its own way. But then again, i adore the Avatar movie even though is basically Dances With Wolves.
3) On Sunday the 13th, i celebrated my 2 year anniversary with Boyfriend Jon. True to our normal form, we hung out with a friend, played some board games, went out for a good meal, wandered around the scary Walmart, then went home and went right back to writing. We lead such extravagant lives.
As for reaching the two year mark, all i can say is that it doesn't feel like it. Most of the time i still feel like we're in the giddy, silly, blissful stage usually seen around the three to six month stage of a relationship. I love this man and don't know what i'd do without him.
Yet every year, i end up growing bags under my eyes and yawning through a meeting or two. Really, by now i should know better. And still, that didn't stop me from hitting the snooze button three times more than i should have...sleeping in an additional half hour this morning. Too late to grab a shower (thank god for dry shampoo) too late to put together a new outfit (thank god for cardigans) and too late to arrive on time (mostly because i almost forgot my badge).
But i'm here. Working away as my mind feels like it's filled with fuzz.
Three pieces of good news.
1) I decided to take a break at lunch and re-read what i have done so far in my story. It started out to just be a reminder, but I ended up listening to my voice as an author. I had been thinking that my story beginning was 14k words of pure crap. But in reality, it wasn't half bad. It's drawn out and there's very little to keep anyone reading, but the writing is good and my characters are talking a great deal more than normal. So thus far, it's just a slow start story. Which is better than i had expected from myself. I know we're all our worst critics. But it feels about 10x as molasses like when it takes you a day to get through each chapter.
2) I found my Kindle! it was hiding in the couch cushion. this is a good thing because over the weekend, i wasn't very inclined to write as i should have been and i was able to pick up the Hunger Games that i had just barely started before NaNo. Normally, i intensely dislike first person narrative books. But this one has genuinely captivated me. I like the setting and the character is believable. I'm always a sucker for a female who's a survivor. Although the story line is extremely similar to Battle Royale (Koushun Takami) which was written about 5 years earlier...it's still good in its own way. But then again, i adore the Avatar movie even though is basically Dances With Wolves.3) On Sunday the 13th, i celebrated my 2 year anniversary with Boyfriend Jon. True to our normal form, we hung out with a friend, played some board games, went out for a good meal, wandered around the scary Walmart, then went home and went right back to writing. We lead such extravagant lives.
As for reaching the two year mark, all i can say is that it doesn't feel like it. Most of the time i still feel like we're in the giddy, silly, blissful stage usually seen around the three to six month stage of a relationship. I love this man and don't know what i'd do without him.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 9
Silly me, i've been so caught up in my break neck speed that i've forgotten to post my numbers. Usually when the site for NaNo comes up, my word count widgets pop up on my site and keep track of how i'm doing. But the site is having some glitches since the relaunch and my widgets arent' working.
Today is November 9th. My word count before having typed anything today is 20,028
My goal for tonight is to pass the halfway mark...something that has never happened so early. usually i'm a day or two ahead of schedule. Not almost a week.
I'm pretty darn proud of myself.
Boyfriend Jon crossed the halfway mark last night. And i'm right on his heels.
And of course...just as i'm getting ready to post this...i find out that my widgets have started working again. Go figure.
Check out the left side of the blog for my NaNo 2011 track record. The days turn green when I've written 1667 words for the day. Yellow if i'm over the daily quota but didn't write the 1667 words. Red, if i didn't make either.
Today is November 9th. My word count before having typed anything today is 20,028
My goal for tonight is to pass the halfway mark...something that has never happened so early. usually i'm a day or two ahead of schedule. Not almost a week.
I'm pretty darn proud of myself.
Boyfriend Jon crossed the halfway mark last night. And i'm right on his heels.
And of course...just as i'm getting ready to post this...i find out that my widgets have started working again. Go figure.
Check out the left side of the blog for my NaNo 2011 track record. The days turn green when I've written 1667 words for the day. Yellow if i'm over the daily quota but didn't write the 1667 words. Red, if i didn't make either.
Monday, November 7, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 7
So last night, i finally got my timeline and route in order and went to bed thinking about how to write it. I woke up and was all energized to go.I was in such a good mood that even an extra dump of work on my desk couldn't phase me. Cause as soon as I got home i was going to kick some NaNo butt! Hiiiyaaa!
And then my sister called.
Oh yeah, i'm the horrible daughter that forgot her mom's birthday...is tonight. In the words of Homer Simpson: D'OH!
Not to mention i found that apparently i'm taking her to the Verizon store tonight to help her pick out her new smart phone. Which since my mom is not extremely technologically savvy...means extensive answering of questions. Which will probably take a lot of time. Time i had hoped to get back into the swing (finally) of my story!
Yeah...life happens.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 6
Whoops. Usually i'm a bit better about keeping up with my thoughts and feelings over the course of a November. The truth is, this year, i'm (was) neck and neck with one of my friends so just about ever spare second was spent writing on my story.
Today being the sixth, i should be at about 10,000 words. Due to the fact that the friend I've been neck and neck with is going for one hundred thousand words as opposed the regular fifty thousand, she's helped push me to push out over 16 thousand words.
The official count right now is 16,425 while i take a break and get some work done in completing the company calendar.
14k of that was completed by Friday. After that, a small conversation with Boyfriend Jon led me to question my entire timeline of my story. Turns out, not paying attention in pretty much any of my history classes was a problem after all. My memory of events and corresponding years was faulty and caused an enormous hole in my story that could not logically be breached in any way that still made sense.
It had a huge effect on me. I was instantly frustrated and i frantically searched about online for some other way of fixing this huge hole. I snapped at poor Boyfriend Jon, and a headache took a strong hold at the base of my neck. There was no logical way i could get two young men into Europe, but not to join the war, without completely deviating from history. Finally I got an idea.
I have an Uncle, who is renowned in our family for talking about WW2 at great length and even occasionally exhaustion. Now normally, when he goes off on his rants, i leave the room or stare at him until i start to nod off. WW2 history doesn't interest me in the least. The only reason i'm writing about it is to give the story an urgency and an easy bad guy. Not to mention Indiana Jones is one of the inspiration and who is Indiana Jones always's fighting? oh yeah. The Nazis.
But now, at day 6 i was being forced to consider the possibility that i would need to completely alter the timeline, perhaps even choosing a completely different era. That might have been less daunting at day 6 if i was actually following the 1667 words a day. But 14,000 words is a LOT to have to compeltely re-write.
So, back to my Uncle. When i called he wasn't home so i enlisted my cousin to do what the women in our family refer to as the sweet insistence. Which in this case involved her standing over him with the phone in her hand telling him how much his niece (me) needed his help and without him my entire project might fail. Of which i said no such thing, but i got a phone call back from him in a surprisingly short amount of time.
As i laid out my problem for him, he kept interrupting me telling me about where else in Europe the Germans were fighting during 1939. Border disputes with the French were the least of the battles as the Germans moved over eastern europe. Czechoslovakia, Poland, and Russia taking advantage to try and get their share of the land. May i just say...power hungry idiots!?
But when i explained the path that i needed my characters to follow, he gave me two lumps of SOLID GOLD. One being that i could land my characters in Spain which was a neutral port. Neutral port to neutral port meant that they were less likely ("accidents" happened all the time) to be sunk by U-boats.
And if i made my characters arrive in France before June 3rd and if they left to go into Italy before June 10th (when Italy declared war on France), they would be able to go straight through without too much of a problem. It would be even better if i gave them some way of diplomatic immunity.
So there you go. You've now been caught up with my frenzied recalculation that has taken up most of my weekend. As a matter of fact, i don't think I've written 2 thousand words all weekend. I just was so not feeling it. Which is why i said that i WAS neck and neck with my friend. I think the last i hear she was coming up on 22k. Which i'm so excited for her but my competitive nature is like OMFG! STOP TYPING SO I CAN CATCH UP.
Boyfriend Jon is also eliciting a similar response as he's approaching 20k right now, or so he tells me.
Today being the sixth, i should be at about 10,000 words. Due to the fact that the friend I've been neck and neck with is going for one hundred thousand words as opposed the regular fifty thousand, she's helped push me to push out over 16 thousand words.
The official count right now is 16,425 while i take a break and get some work done in completing the company calendar.
14k of that was completed by Friday. After that, a small conversation with Boyfriend Jon led me to question my entire timeline of my story. Turns out, not paying attention in pretty much any of my history classes was a problem after all. My memory of events and corresponding years was faulty and caused an enormous hole in my story that could not logically be breached in any way that still made sense.
It had a huge effect on me. I was instantly frustrated and i frantically searched about online for some other way of fixing this huge hole. I snapped at poor Boyfriend Jon, and a headache took a strong hold at the base of my neck. There was no logical way i could get two young men into Europe, but not to join the war, without completely deviating from history. Finally I got an idea.
I have an Uncle, who is renowned in our family for talking about WW2 at great length and even occasionally exhaustion. Now normally, when he goes off on his rants, i leave the room or stare at him until i start to nod off. WW2 history doesn't interest me in the least. The only reason i'm writing about it is to give the story an urgency and an easy bad guy. Not to mention Indiana Jones is one of the inspiration and who is Indiana Jones always's fighting? oh yeah. The Nazis.
So, back to my Uncle. When i called he wasn't home so i enlisted my cousin to do what the women in our family refer to as the sweet insistence. Which in this case involved her standing over him with the phone in her hand telling him how much his niece (me) needed his help and without him my entire project might fail. Of which i said no such thing, but i got a phone call back from him in a surprisingly short amount of time.
As i laid out my problem for him, he kept interrupting me telling me about where else in Europe the Germans were fighting during 1939. Border disputes with the French were the least of the battles as the Germans moved over eastern europe. Czechoslovakia, Poland, and Russia taking advantage to try and get their share of the land. May i just say...power hungry idiots!?
But when i explained the path that i needed my characters to follow, he gave me two lumps of SOLID GOLD. One being that i could land my characters in Spain which was a neutral port. Neutral port to neutral port meant that they were less likely ("accidents" happened all the time) to be sunk by U-boats.
And if i made my characters arrive in France before June 3rd and if they left to go into Italy before June 10th (when Italy declared war on France), they would be able to go straight through without too much of a problem. It would be even better if i gave them some way of diplomatic immunity.
So there you go. You've now been caught up with my frenzied recalculation that has taken up most of my weekend. As a matter of fact, i don't think I've written 2 thousand words all weekend. I just was so not feeling it. Which is why i said that i WAS neck and neck with my friend. I think the last i hear she was coming up on 22k. Which i'm so excited for her but my competitive nature is like OMFG! STOP TYPING SO I CAN CATCH UP.
Boyfriend Jon is also eliciting a similar response as he's approaching 20k right now, or so he tells me.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
NaNo 2011 - Day 1
I tossed and turned the entire night through til the morning of November 1. Plot pitfalls, tangents, uncooperative characters, a messy apartment, huge food fights at the write ins, my parents guilt tripping me and a variety of other nightmares danced through my dreams all night long. But when i slapped my alarm clock and seriously considiered calling in sick, it suddenly hit me.
IT'S FINALLY HERE! NANO HAS BEGUN!
I was practically prancing into work and using every spare second (of breaks of course) to type.
By 9:30pm, i was there. 5,006 words. I had mostly re-written or typed up the original plot bunny and added some depth to my characters. I was hoping to avoid the back story dump, but i think I've figured out a way to make it help pass some boring time in the story line. If not...oh well, that's what editing is for.
IT'S FINALLY HERE! NANO HAS BEGUN!
I was practically prancing into work and using every spare second (of breaks of course) to type.
By 9:30pm, i was there. 5,006 words. I had mostly re-written or typed up the original plot bunny and added some depth to my characters. I was hoping to avoid the back story dump, but i think I've figured out a way to make it help pass some boring time in the story line. If not...oh well, that's what editing is for.
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