Oh, guess what...more roommate searching

Yup, it's that time again...just when i had started getting comfortable again...the need to find a roommate comes up again.
I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally. I really just want the situation figured out and to not change.
I know that the only way to do that is to depend on myself alone.
Yet i have yet to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or the hand of Midas. Better know as, I'm a low income twenty-something that has to make compromises in a city where you need moderately-high income to live comfortably.
So back to the roommate search....again.
I've been looking for a roommate steadily since December! the first time Katherine threw the "I'm moving out and you have to find someone to replace me" nonsense in my face.
Of the 47 people i've physically interviewed, there's still only 1 that i truely wish things had worked out.
Maybe i'm picky....maybe i just don't want to take chances, maybe i put off a vibe that makes people uneasy. I don't know....but all i've found is people who there is no way in hell i would live with willingly.
How has this become the norm for late teenagers and early 20 somethings?
To brag about your illegal behavior to a complete stranger then expect them to not turn you in
To not even fully read the post people take the time to write and ask questions to which the answers have already been given.
To show up 3 hours late and demand to be given an audiance anyway
To show up drunk and high
To lewdly make suggestions to your potential roommate thinking she'll just fall for you and let you move in free of rent

Seriously...all of these I have experianced. I've been shaking my head vigorously for 7 months. It's gone beyond frustrating to downright draining.

While i'm sorry for Katherine that things haven't worked out according to plan and she's been stuck with the apartment, i can't bring myself to feel any kind of remorse that i didn't accept the first person who wanted to move in to get her off the lease. I had to watch out for myself.
Business is business.

Here's to the hopes that something will start to go right soon.

Singing

I was lucky enough to be given my mother's singing voice and octave range. And though I'm no where near as good as many, i can sing fairly well and have a good voice to work with.
In school I joined choir starting in 5th grade and again in junior high and high school. I enjoyed it, the performances, the reverberating tones when the whole group hit just the right note, the practice, the lights on my face, even the teachers.
I even took a solo performance with only 3 days practice to help out a teacher needing to fill a space at a ceremony.
I know what it's like to perform. I felt the moments of terror when my voice cracked or I failed to sit on a note correctly. Or when you forget a line and quickly look to someone for help. I can spot a great singer in the making, and the people who just think they're all dandy but are destroying their voice.

All that being said, I am in love with Susan Boyle's voice. She oddly enough reminds me of my mom.
I remember my mom singing most of the time, a sure sigh she was happy. Just random little tunes, most often with notes made up just moments before they left her voice. But they were always true to the note.
My mom can be described as eccentric. She has 19 pairs of the exact same pants just in different colors(and that's it). And there have been times when I've had to make a certain pair of Easter-grass green pants or the pepto-bismal pink jacket disappear. She even has hair that's a little frazzled at times.
So when I saw Susan Boyle walk onto stage of Britain's Got Talent, I shrugged and thought "let's see what she's got" knowing that sometimes ugly flowers smell wonderful.
What she has, is by far the best female alto voice I've heard since Ella Fitzgerald. I was captivated by the end of the first line, dumbfounded by the chorus and flabbergasted (let alone gobsmacked) by the end.
Since then I followed her through the finals. I will say only this about the results of BGT: Diversity's choreography was flashy and energetic...but it just takes coordination and teamwork. Same as a junior high marching band. A good voice is something that you're born with. And to utilize it like Susan takes tallent.
When she puts out an album...and i truely hope she does....I'll even pre order it.

A pet peeve

I took a weekend to think about this before i wrote it. I'm still pissed off. I tried to call and talk to the person involved and she knows who she is. I never got a response. Maybe she's busy, maybe she's avoiding me. I don't know which. But here's my side of the story.

Here's one thing i really hate. It's a trend. When a female friend goes to leave my life, for marriage, or to fulfill her dreams somewhere else where it's obvious it would be a long distance friendship; I suddenly turn into the bad guy. Or rather, that's how they start perceiving me.

No matter how nice i try to be, how supportive, how understanding...they suddenly start taking everything i say as snide, vindictive, rude, or intentionally mean. I can joke just like i normally would and other people who know of the situation will agree what i said wasn't that bad...but I'm suddenly the bad guy...and there seems to be nothing i can do about it. I get passive agressive, formally and publicly berated just because they have a stick shoved up their butt from stress or whatever.

You know what

I'm done. This is the second time it's happened this year. I'm tired of fighting to keep friendships.

You want out of this friendship so badly that you forget how supportive I've been, how many times I've told you "i believe you can do it", and encouraged you; Go. What i said wasn't mean. I was joking and you know it. You know it because you're probably one of the cleanest, most innocent girls i know. It's like Santa Claus wearing pink polka dots. It doesn't fit so it's funny. Others agreed. You know it cause you've known me since junior high. And if by now you can't tell when I'm joking? You're about as dense as lead.

So i hope it's just stress and other things going on and that eventually we can laugh and put this behind us. But next time you jump down my throat over something as stupid as that?! I'm gonna yank that stuck up your butt out and beat you over the head with it. Not appologize.

And if this is it? Goodbye and good luck.

My 2 cents....or 10

I'm not an opinionated person....at...all (ok, stop laughing). But I have a few things I would like to say to the world around me.

1. Rebecca!....i haven't heard from you in 2 months despite calls, texts, emails, facebook nudges, and even trying to find you on WoW. I'm getting worried! You are not allowed to go on another 7 year hiatus from my life! I'm about another week from kidnapping my cousin so i can find your house and coming over there!
2. Katherine! Get a fucking job and stop complaining that i'm holding you to the contract you signed.
3. PETA....just SHUT THE FUCK UP! Do something productive with your lives and leave the fish mongers at Pike Place alone.
4. Johnny....you are freaking me out! Stop it and start acting like my brother normally does, not all this caring niceness. It's creepy.
   
5. Housing economy in Redmond/Kirkland....you're too pricey...keep dropping! especially apartments so i can afford to live on my own without a roommate. You have 1.5 months to drop below 700. (ok, not realistic, but i can hope)
6. Chase Bank: at least WaMu was nice to their customers.
   
7. Comcast: Why one earth does it cost more to NOT have a phone than to have one?
8. Law enforcement dealing with Curtis Thompson: a single bullet between the eyes is less than a penny. Keeping that psyco alive while he serves his multiple life sentences and continues to torment and abuse the system.....a lot of money. This choice should not be hard.
9. Brittany...i love you but what you're doing is stupid. And even though i'll be behind you 100%....just know that i think this is stupid.
   
10. I wanna go ride a motorcycle. Not work. (kind of hard considering we took the bike to the shop last night. :( )
    

Preemptive

This time last year my life was in a whirlwind. I was preparing for graduation, for moving out, for a million things. I was having panic attacks and crying a lot. I was terrified of life outside of the familiar cushioned existence in my parent's house. But I knew i would have to eventually stand on my own two feet. I gave myself a year to prove that I could survive on my own. This meant no help from my parents, my sister, my friends, or any potential boyfriends (which later i decided was too much to deal with and scratched that off my list for this year). I wanted to prove to myself. Call it selfish, call it silly...but it was something i needed to do.

A year later:
I have successfully lived on my own for just short of a year now.
This includes dealing with 4 separate living crisis, even preparing to go to court and not being manipulated by a more experienced tenant.
I researched, searched, found and bought my own first car and she's a beaut
I've survived multiple layoffs by proving I'm a valuable asset to my team
I haven't needed financial support from anyone.
I even dealt with a medical emergency
And most importantly; I've made 9 personal dreams come true.

Quite a successful year in my eyes.
And i'm determined that next year is going to be even better.