My new home

There are things which you don't really miss until you go through a long time without them. For me, it has been a place to call my own. One that is decorated, designed, painted and laid out the way that I want.

Moving in with Katherine....she had already lived there for 4 years.
Moving in with Kelsie....she had lived there for 7 months.

I had to negotiate changes, or do the rather impetuous thing of changing things without asking counting on the fact that they would be too lazy to move them back. I never felt comfortable asking them to move things out of the way so that I could have room and just doing what I wanted prompted nasty looks passive aggressive bullshit. Promises of "I want you to feel like this is your place too," were replaced with "that's the way I have it and i don't really want to change it."

I distinctly remember both of them remarking that i never put up pictures of my family and friends or even just paintings i like. Most of this was due to the fact that they had pictures everywhere and i would have had to squeeze my stuff in-between.

There is a new song out by Carrie Underwood, which is about a temporary home. Which is all that i have had since i moved out. While i understand this is the nature of apartments, there is also such a thing as being comfortable in your temporary home. I always felt like i was stepping on someone else's toes just by walking in the door even if all I did was go straight into "MY room". I'm tired of living in someone else's space.

Finally after dealing with the leasing agents for a full 20 days, and not a single one of them going smoothly....i have a final, set, unchangeable move in date. I also have furniture to build, walls to paint, and security to address, and a whole lotta stuff to move.

My living situations have never been an easy fight. I have watched enviously, while still very proud and happy for friends as they find a place and move in and it's just perfect. Just smooth, and perfect. Every living place has been a fight. Fight to get in, fight to stay, fight with non compatible personalities. And i'm tired.

At least now all i have to fight with is myself.
Countdown: 3 days