I return after a brief hiatus

to remind certain people (ahem influnencebad!!!hint hint) that I am still alive.

A few quick updates because I'm feeling too lazy to write about much else.

• My sister's motorcycle is sexy and responds to the touch like an attention whore cat. The cluch is just firm enough to where you do need to squeeze it, but you're not hurting your hand in the process of squeezing it a million times. I'm already comfortable on it and pulling manuvers i wasn't able to before. If i wasn't so set on a cruiser, i might try to convince her to give it to me.
  
• Re-taking the rider's course on sunday, friday and saturday will basically be spent on the bike.
  
• More ex-roommate is still technically my roommate DRAMA. I have discovered that NO one is willing to pay 200$ more just to live with me, when it's basically the same price to live alone at the same complex. She also had the gall to state that i needed to take out a loan in order to fork up 1300$ to break the lease. I told her no. Guess what...tensions are even more strained.
• I hate drama. I loved the days when i could say my life was 100% drama free. I need to work to getting them back that way again....or i could just spend ALL of my free time riding.
• 1 week till i should receive a DVD stand. That will make my life happy again. My OCD of having movies in alphabetical order will finally be abated.
• Chelan was amazing with one minor exception: 12 people in a house...makes for frustration and tenstion. 2 things i DON'T want on my vacation.
• Chelan water needs to be warmer and not so glacial.
  
• Chelan has amazing scenery at the beaches and liquore stores, and walking around town....and the water and mountains are kinda pretty too. Good grief I don't think i've ever been hit on that much.
  
• I want to beat the crap out of my friend's little brother. No matter how sick you are, it doesn't give you the right to treat other people with that level of disrespect especially not your mother. Stay the fuck away from me brat!
• When having a bad day- daydreaming about motorcycles is proving helpful. I want to ride again.
  

That's about it. Updates later.

Update

Today is the 18th. Last Friday i foolishly assumed that i would have my endorsement today. Instead i was met with a bevvy of exercises that left me exhausted both mentally and physically.
And that was just the riding.
While i passed my written exam with 100%, I unfortunately failed the driving range by a single point.
So rather than sitting and wallowing in misery over the blow to my ego; here's the facts

• I still have 30 days to pass
• I have Mark, a riding veteran and patient instructor.
• I have use of my sister's bike and a large parking lot across the street from her apartment
• I can get the measurements off the course and re-create them with chalk Then totally p0wn them!

And most importantly. I have my determination. This is truly a part of my being. Being on the bike fits for lack of a better explanation. It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when i get my endorsement.

Doing the weaving and throttle and clutch all came naturally. It was the tight turns that caught me.

On the plus side i guess; when i get out on the real road. I'll be a better driver thanks to extra practice.

Another once upon a time....

Once upon a time...
there was a little girl named Anne who was only about 4 years old. Her much older sister who was a senior in high school threw a party in the basement of their house. Anne being a curious and wanting to see what all the noise was about snuck downstairs against her mother's admonishments. It was there that she ran face first into the leather clad thigh of Karla. Looking up at her sister's tall, brunette friend Anne found herself in awe. Karla was tall and very beautiful, wearing a Harley leather jacket and motorcycle chaps. Everything about her seemed regal and left Anne full of awe. Karla smirked at little Anne and took her by the hand. Instead of leading her back up the stairs away from the party, she led her into the living room where there were people dancing and talking. To little Anne, it looked like a grand party with colorful baloons floating on the ceiling and bright streamers strung all around.
Curious little Anne tugged on Karla's arm and asked her why she was wearing all black to a party. Black was a sad color and she didn't look sad. Karla pulled Anne up on her lap and told Anne about her motorcycle which she rode to school every day. She wore the black leather to make sure she was protected should she get in an accident. And black wasn't a sad color, it was just another color. Anne of course, understood what she meant right away (not).
It wasn't long before Anne's mother had noticed that she was not in bed where she was supposed to be and came downstairs looking for her. Her mother found her grinning like a fool drapped in the heavy leather jacket with a group of people around her chuckling as she tried to dance without falling down.
Her mother decided that was enough and untangled her wayward daughter from the jacket handing it back to Karla. As Anne was carried out of the room, she looked back over her mom's shoulder and saw Karla wink at her. Anne decided then and there that she wanted to be just like Karla when she got older.
However fate would have other plans. When a friend with some achreage offered to let her ride on the back of his dirt bike while he drove, Anne, now a teenager, practically leapt at the opportunity. They drove round and round his property going fast and slow and going over the bumps. Anne eventually got comfortable and decided to let go and just relax on the back of the bike, resting her hands on her thighs. Little did she know her friend had braced for impact as he hit a small ditch causing the back of the bike to buck and throw Anne off. No worries...Anne landed safely in a big pile of grass clippings which cushioned her fall and left her with only a few minor scrapes.
But the flying leap left her scared of motorcycles ever since. Her idolized persona suddenly slipped away.
It wasn't until last summer when Anne rented a moped (first 2 wheeled experiance in almost a decade) and realized just how silly she had been and after a while got so comfortable on it, she was topping out the small moped motor. But 40mph still wasn't fast enough.
She talked to her friend Mark, a "greasy biker dude" who had basically been riding bikes for his entire life. He could talk for hours about his biking experiances. He later let her ride on the back of his bike on a ride to the ferries last fall. She enjoyed herself so much that she began to make plans to "get back on the horse" ....bike that is.
She signed up for a motorcycle class, paid the fee and had to wait for the class on May 14th.

To be continued when I finish the class.....if I ever bring the motorcycle back.........

When I let go of what i am, I become what I may be.

This is the mantra that's been going through my head the last few days.
My weightloss journey hit a rather nasty hickup thanks to a very busy week and a half. I basically came home and slept for what few hours I could.
Between my sister's and dad's birthday, conveniently spaced just 4 days apart, friends, and other family obligations, as well as roommate....difficulties; I lost my stride. I went from running just about every day to none. My steady workout partner also had a busy couple of weeks and was unable to meet up. Making there even less of a urgent need to go to the gym.
That coupled with excessive pressure to eat eat eat at all these gatherings, and my lack of iron will against cheese ravioli in a cream sauce and Dairy Queen blizzards....
So without feeling like there was anyone holding me accountable, all my threads of discipline which I had wound tightly around myself over the last 3 months unraveled at a pace which, looking back, is unbelievable.
It finally occurred to me, as a severe (if short) bought with depression came and went, that I can't expect other people to hold me accountable to my own goals. Yes I realize this comes rather belated, but I've made some changes to the way I'm dealing with this process now.

1. My workout partner, although wonderful and encouraging....isn't the workout police. And I can't look to her to make myself get to the gym. I have two feet which work, and it's a matter of making time for it, just like I make time to watch a favorite show.
2. To hold MYSELF accountable to MYSELF, I've posted a chart where I can record daily what the scale reads. Blue for positive downward trends, Red for negative upward trends. I'm doing this instead of logging my food, because that's an annoying pain in the ass. I know when I eat things that aren't healthy, and the scale doesn't lie like a pen can.
3. I have a minimum of days where I work out from Sunday to Saturday. I can use them to go running, do core exercises, yoga, or soon to be swimming. Or any combination.
4. This is neat. www.WeightView.com A site that digitally re-images a picture of you (for FREE) to show you what you might look like if you lost X amount of weight. It basically gives you a visual goal. I plugged in 30, since it's a reasonable and attainable goal (not to mention it's a size i haven't been since junior high...as sad as that is) and these are the "possible results" :
   

My two reactions: "DAMN, that can't be just 30 lbs" then quickly followed by "HEY! where did my boobs go!?!?"
I'll post a real picture when i reach my goal (hopefully)

The day of interesting walk by-s at my desk

Today seems to be the day where my cubical opening is the turning point for EVERYONE.
There is a 4 way intersection right outside of my cubicle. I have one of those blind spot concave mirrors next to my monitor in which I have seen:

• multiple "Stop and stare at the ceiling/floor and wait for the light bulb to turn back on" while impeding traffic
  
• 3 people seriously fast walking past my desk multiple times. I love it when they try to turn the corner and they essentially swerve into on-coming traffic.
• 2 walk up to my desk and do an all out about face right at my opening and go back the way they had come without missing a beat
• 2 indecisive where they start walking one way, then turn a different direction, take 1-2 steps and turn in a completely different direction. Lather rinse repeat.
• 1 person walk into my cubical wall because they decided to change direction as they approached but didn't turn fast enough or turned too late.
  
• 1 person running like they're tied up like a stiff backed mummy with only their legs from the knees down unbound (that was interesting)
• And a partridge in a pear tree... (ok, so not really, but the ending amuses me)

Maybe we should install traffic lights at all intersections and issue traffic tickets to stupidity offenders.