For someone who doesn't like shopping and is very frugal with her money....i have determined:
1) I have way too many empty shopping bags in my room (maybe i should apply for a guenis record or something)
2) I have way too many black shoes
3) I have way too many clothes
4) I have way too many blankets in my room
5) I have way too many reciepts
6) I have way too many art supplies in my room itself
7) .....I might actually have room for all this when i move....oh dear......
Note to self. pick up black paint from hardware store TONIGHT and paint that stupid....thing! And drill holes in the back for cords.
And i swear, my roommate (to be in one day ahhh!) can read my mind.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Introverts vs. Extroverts
I recently had a friend start using this phrase. "that's because I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert."
Had he only used it a couple times, i probably wouldn't be pondering it nearly as much. But at this point he has used it at least once in every single conversation we've had for about a month. Since i count this friend in my best friend category, you might have an idea of how many times that is already.
Needless to say, I'm apparently the extrovert. I'm a big fan of defining the scope of a single word, so i plugged it into dictionary.com to make sure i had the right definition in my own mind. Answer was yes but here it is for you.
Tangent: isn't it odd how some people can hear a word and think one thing while others can think another? Untangent:
One of the more defined definitions through Dictionary.com for
Extrovert:
A term introduced by the psychologist Carl Jung to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed outward. Extroverts are more prone to action than contemplation, make friends readily, adjust easily to social situations, and generally show warm interest in their surroundings.
Introvert:
A term introduced by the psychologist Carl Jung to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed inward. Introverts tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people.
Yup, I'm an extrovert. No doubt about it. I will bend over backwards for anyone who shows me a bit of kindness first. And i definitely prefer action to contemplation. Why sit and talk about it when you could be trying to see if things would actually work the way you might contemplate them? I love with all that I am and I'm not generally selfish unless provoked.
But this is his little defense to basically tell me that I can't possibly understand what he's thinking or how he's feeling. One small loophole he's forgotten about. I've known him for almost 13 years, over half our lives. I know how he thinks and feels and his thought processes, what he values and when he's being a complete hypocrite. But I'm not able to understand him? oh what-fucking-ever!!!
Do i necessarily fit his definition of extrovert as he has told me. No, not really at all. I don't need people, i don't really on them to make me feel good and happy. There are a great many things in my past and in my brain that NO ONE knows about, not even those in the best friend category, past and present.
I understand introverts pretty well. My mother is one, so are my brothers so are a great number of my closer friends. I simply like to dump everything on my brain out before going to bed because otherwise, stuff festers and that's not a good thing when you're me.
On a side note to said friend: If you say that you're almost always polite and then read other things/laugh loudly/are distracted when someone goes out of their way to call you in concern because of something you posted? YOU ARE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE AND AN ASS.
I wish people would stop posting things wanting sympathy. You're not gonna get it from me and no, I'm not posting this wanting any for myself which is why I generally disable comments. I have my own problems and my own stress. And ranting and venting is how I get rid of it. Only a few people know what happens when I don't do that but it's not pretty.
Had he only used it a couple times, i probably wouldn't be pondering it nearly as much. But at this point he has used it at least once in every single conversation we've had for about a month. Since i count this friend in my best friend category, you might have an idea of how many times that is already.
Needless to say, I'm apparently the extrovert. I'm a big fan of defining the scope of a single word, so i plugged it into dictionary.com to make sure i had the right definition in my own mind. Answer was yes but here it is for you.
Tangent: isn't it odd how some people can hear a word and think one thing while others can think another? Untangent:
One of the more defined definitions through Dictionary.com for
Extrovert:
A term introduced by the psychologist Carl Jung to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed outward. Extroverts are more prone to action than contemplation, make friends readily, adjust easily to social situations, and generally show warm interest in their surroundings.
Introvert:
A term introduced by the psychologist Carl Jung to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed inward. Introverts tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people.
Yup, I'm an extrovert. No doubt about it. I will bend over backwards for anyone who shows me a bit of kindness first. And i definitely prefer action to contemplation. Why sit and talk about it when you could be trying to see if things would actually work the way you might contemplate them? I love with all that I am and I'm not generally selfish unless provoked.
But this is his little defense to basically tell me that I can't possibly understand what he's thinking or how he's feeling. One small loophole he's forgotten about. I've known him for almost 13 years, over half our lives. I know how he thinks and feels and his thought processes, what he values and when he's being a complete hypocrite. But I'm not able to understand him? oh what-fucking-ever!!!
Do i necessarily fit his definition of extrovert as he has told me. No, not really at all. I don't need people, i don't really on them to make me feel good and happy. There are a great many things in my past and in my brain that NO ONE knows about, not even those in the best friend category, past and present.
I understand introverts pretty well. My mother is one, so are my brothers so are a great number of my closer friends. I simply like to dump everything on my brain out before going to bed because otherwise, stuff festers and that's not a good thing when you're me.
On a side note to said friend: If you say that you're almost always polite and then read other things/laugh loudly/are distracted when someone goes out of their way to call you in concern because of something you posted? YOU ARE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE AND AN ASS.
I wish people would stop posting things wanting sympathy. You're not gonna get it from me and no, I'm not posting this wanting any for myself which is why I generally disable comments. I have my own problems and my own stress. And ranting and venting is how I get rid of it. Only a few people know what happens when I don't do that but it's not pretty.
Monday, July 21, 2008
A short post today
Why is it that after you break up...simple things like him changing his profile picture or having been online and not dropped you a quick "hey how are ya" message bother you and can ruin your day?
I don't want Joe as a boyfriend again but it's bothering me. I know how unhappy some of his quirks made me and i'm living my life however I want to. I know all the things about him that irritated the hell out of me but he changed his profile picture and now i'm upset.
I seriously wish i could tell my moping female brain:
"WTF moping female brain?! A picture? Leave me alone and let me get on with my life. I got things to do that are better than this."
I don't want Joe as a boyfriend again but it's bothering me. I know how unhappy some of his quirks made me and i'm living my life however I want to. I know all the things about him that irritated the hell out of me but he changed his profile picture and now i'm upset.
I seriously wish i could tell my moping female brain:
"WTF moping female brain?! A picture? Leave me alone and let me get on with my life. I got things to do that are better than this."
Friday, July 18, 2008
Growing Up
Generally, i dont' respond well to change.
I get pannic attacks, i resist with every fiber of my being. I don't like change. I don' t like that feeling of "i have no clue what's going to happen and all these strangers are telling me it's for the best".
I've lived at home my whole life. There have alwasy been mom and dad to go to when i'm having a problem, when i need assistance, and there's always that security of Mom and dad would never let anything bad happen to me.
However this all came at a price to me.
I am 21 years old. In my parents house, I am not allowed to drink anywhere other than the dining room table, where my parents can keep an eye on me and make sure i'm not turning into a closet drinker. For the record...i've been drunk twice since my 21st birthday. I don't like alcohol and i don't see a need for it other than to simply relax on occasion.
Also at 21 years old, i have a curfew. A CURFEW of midnight! A curfew that i ignore every chance i get, but my parents love to remind me that i wasn't home on time and try to punish me.
At 21 years old I am REQUIRED to give up one day every weekend to help out with home improvement projects or cleaning up at the island. None of my other siblings have ever been required to do this.
There are a pleathora of other things that i deem rediculous. No eating downstairs, no friends in the house (including female friends) if my parents aren't home. If my parents need my car, they can use it and i just have to deal with it.
Alright. I'm done. Fuck that terrified feeling of change is bad. I want out. Stagnant out-dated consistancy is much worse than the unknown. I want to stay out all night and greet the sunrise with my last drink of the night before i pass out. I want to eat wherever i please, and have my guy buddies spend the fricken night if they want to.
So for probably another event to add to the very short list where i'm excited for change.
I got approved for the apartment. I move out in two weeks.
I can't fucking wait.
I get pannic attacks, i resist with every fiber of my being. I don't like change. I don' t like that feeling of "i have no clue what's going to happen and all these strangers are telling me it's for the best".
I've lived at home my whole life. There have alwasy been mom and dad to go to when i'm having a problem, when i need assistance, and there's always that security of Mom and dad would never let anything bad happen to me.
However this all came at a price to me.
I am 21 years old. In my parents house, I am not allowed to drink anywhere other than the dining room table, where my parents can keep an eye on me and make sure i'm not turning into a closet drinker. For the record...i've been drunk twice since my 21st birthday. I don't like alcohol and i don't see a need for it other than to simply relax on occasion.
Also at 21 years old, i have a curfew. A CURFEW of midnight! A curfew that i ignore every chance i get, but my parents love to remind me that i wasn't home on time and try to punish me.
At 21 years old I am REQUIRED to give up one day every weekend to help out with home improvement projects or cleaning up at the island. None of my other siblings have ever been required to do this.
There are a pleathora of other things that i deem rediculous. No eating downstairs, no friends in the house (including female friends) if my parents aren't home. If my parents need my car, they can use it and i just have to deal with it.
Alright. I'm done. Fuck that terrified feeling of change is bad. I want out. Stagnant out-dated consistancy is much worse than the unknown. I want to stay out all night and greet the sunrise with my last drink of the night before i pass out. I want to eat wherever i please, and have my guy buddies spend the fricken night if they want to.
So for probably another event to add to the very short list where i'm excited for change.
I got approved for the apartment. I move out in two weeks.
I can't fucking wait.
Friday, July 11, 2008
WANTED, clothes and movie
Last night, i went out with my three good friends...meeting at a local mall with Grace first while we waited for the guys to show up.
Back story:
Grace is my first boyfriend's new girlfriend. Suprisingly we're a LOT alike down to a few nuances. But we get along great, and i couldn't be happier for said first boyfriend, Josh. They're good for eachother and i now have someone that i can go shopping to Old Navy with that won't take it as a creepy brand name. They have my size clothes that aren't designed for women in their 50's. It's awsome. Well, Grace shops there too (and works, which is where her discount comes in VERY handy, not that i have an alterior motive or anything >.> <.< >.>)
So first, I spent about 78$ (after her discount). To be fair...90% of my wardrobe is black....still. For those that read my last blog and are going "wait...didn't you say you almost never wear all black?"....yes...all black. some black, specifically black with a pair of jeans...is my favorite combo.
But now, after that expensive charge (thank you Grace ^^) i have lots of color for summer! YAY.
Finally the guys showed up and we went to see WANTED.
Wanted was a very good movie overall. I felt like it was jerky. There was one very long running fight scene. It was just a little too perfect, him recieving a gun the second his previous one runs out. ....Right. I would have liked to see him use different kinds of weapons or maybe some interesting martial arts coreography.
And i'm sorry, the lead guy James McAvoy, FAILED. He does not pull off a convincing "angry", "hurt", or "vengeful". his crying was forced, and he definetly was a pussy until the very end of the movie. And i want to know why he was so hell bent on killing his father's murderer when he had never met his father?
Angelina and Morgan Freeman definetly pulled it back together. A similar personality to Mrs. Smith showed up again this time tortured and tormented. A very good mix for Angelina's abilities.
Morgan Freeman was a very good mentor personality. Calm, collected, unflinching, with a sense of humor. I really liked him. He always does a good job.
On a side note: I HAVE TO GET THIS SOUNDTRACK!!!!. I didn't hear one song i didn't like!
Back story:
Grace is my first boyfriend's new girlfriend. Suprisingly we're a LOT alike down to a few nuances. But we get along great, and i couldn't be happier for said first boyfriend, Josh. They're good for eachother and i now have someone that i can go shopping to Old Navy with that won't take it as a creepy brand name. They have my size clothes that aren't designed for women in their 50's. It's awsome. Well, Grace shops there too (and works, which is where her discount comes in VERY handy, not that i have an alterior motive or anything >.> <.< >.>)
So first, I spent about 78$ (after her discount). To be fair...90% of my wardrobe is black....still. For those that read my last blog and are going "wait...didn't you say you almost never wear all black?"....yes...all black. some black, specifically black with a pair of jeans...is my favorite combo.
But now, after that expensive charge (thank you Grace ^^) i have lots of color for summer! YAY.
Finally the guys showed up and we went to see WANTED.
Wanted was a very good movie overall. I felt like it was jerky. There was one very long running fight scene. It was just a little too perfect, him recieving a gun the second his previous one runs out. ....Right. I would have liked to see him use different kinds of weapons or maybe some interesting martial arts coreography.
And i'm sorry, the lead guy James McAvoy, FAILED. He does not pull off a convincing "angry", "hurt", or "vengeful". his crying was forced, and he definetly was a pussy until the very end of the movie. And i want to know why he was so hell bent on killing his father's murderer when he had never met his father?
Angelina and Morgan Freeman definetly pulled it back together. A similar personality to Mrs. Smith showed up again this time tortured and tormented. A very good mix for Angelina's abilities.
Morgan Freeman was a very good mentor personality. Calm, collected, unflinching, with a sense of humor. I really liked him. He always does a good job.
On a side note: I HAVE TO GET THIS SOUNDTRACK!!!!. I didn't hear one song i didn't like!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Ebay Addiction
For those that have known me for a long time this might supirse you.
For those that don't: you need a little background on me.
primarily: i grew up with 15 boys (the boys in the neighborhood. I only had two brothers and one left for the military when i was 7) there were no girly dresses, makeup wearing, and frilly dolls in my growning up. I wore camoflauge, played with toy guns and the few barbies that I had (remanents of my mom trying to make me girly) wore leather and were amazons. Long about Junior High, i decided black was the only color i would wear. Not gothic, just liked black. Then came highschool, where i decided red and jeans were ok too. now out of college, i almost never wear all black, and actually have pink in my wardrob (much less i'm wearing it today).
My sister and i are complete opposites. She's neat, i'm messy, she's girly, i'm still mostly not, she's blonde, i'm brunette natrually (and currently...goodbye red for a while at least). She LOVES to shop, and up until now, i've HATED it.
Then came Ebay. Oh ebay how i love you. A simple search reveals the things you can't find at a decent price at any store, or sometimes can't find because they're always out of stock. Then they arrive usually really quickly. In the last week i have attacked my credit card with Ebay purchases of under 15$. The things i've bought include face moisturizer and oil control from Proactive (i was a total pessamist but they ROCK), mineral makeup, the final Harry Potter book (hard cover for lik 8$ with shipping :D) and two other books boy one of my favorite authors: Mercedes Lackey.
Must resist a Wii and an Ipod........don't know how long i'll last.
On a side note: i HATE having double jointed pinkies...it makes using the shift button suck. Hence why i have so many capitilization errors. I type 70wpm. slowing down to go SHIFT (hold it there because if i don't think about it, it hurts my pinkie joint that's double jointed) then the letter to be capitalized. Yeah, i'd rather spell/grammer check.
For those that don't: you need a little background on me.
primarily: i grew up with 15 boys (the boys in the neighborhood. I only had two brothers and one left for the military when i was 7) there were no girly dresses, makeup wearing, and frilly dolls in my growning up. I wore camoflauge, played with toy guns and the few barbies that I had (remanents of my mom trying to make me girly) wore leather and were amazons. Long about Junior High, i decided black was the only color i would wear. Not gothic, just liked black. Then came highschool, where i decided red and jeans were ok too. now out of college, i almost never wear all black, and actually have pink in my wardrob (much less i'm wearing it today).
My sister and i are complete opposites. She's neat, i'm messy, she's girly, i'm still mostly not, she's blonde, i'm brunette natrually (and currently...goodbye red for a while at least). She LOVES to shop, and up until now, i've HATED it.
Then came Ebay. Oh ebay how i love you. A simple search reveals the things you can't find at a decent price at any store, or sometimes can't find because they're always out of stock. Then they arrive usually really quickly. In the last week i have attacked my credit card with Ebay purchases of under 15$. The things i've bought include face moisturizer and oil control from Proactive (i was a total pessamist but they ROCK), mineral makeup, the final Harry Potter book (hard cover for lik 8$ with shipping :D) and two other books boy one of my favorite authors: Mercedes Lackey.
Must resist a Wii and an Ipod........don't know how long i'll last.
On a side note: i HATE having double jointed pinkies...it makes using the shift button suck. Hence why i have so many capitilization errors. I type 70wpm. slowing down to go SHIFT (hold it there because if i don't think about it, it hurts my pinkie joint that's double jointed) then the letter to be capitalized. Yeah, i'd rather spell/grammer check.
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