Sewing, Road Trip and a funeral

The funeral for Boyfriend Jon's grandmother has been set. So we figured out the best way to get down to California was to drive. It's at least 200$ cheaper than flying since there will be two of us anyway. It's going to be a quick trip; get up early, drive all day, collapse, wake up, funeral, spend some time with the family, collapse, wake up early, drive all day, collapse.

But i learned some things about Hawaiian culture that i found really interesting. They don't wear black to funerals (they will at this one since it's being held in a church but the memorial will be more traditional) but traditionally they wear white and bright colors. This is because it's less about mourning their death and more about celebrating the life of the deceased. Although i didn't know her very long, that seems perfectly appropriate for her. It completely fits in my opinion.

So when Boyfriend Jon first asked me to go with him, i had to take a long hard think about my closet contents. I have a great LBD that he loves seeing me in, and a couple colorful sundresses and a bright maxi dress that needs alterations. Also, he told me it was going to be about 80-90 degrees while we're there (yikes!). Last time i visited, his family was wearing winter sweaters in 60 degree heat while i was thinking "break out the tank tops". I'm going to roast especially if i wear black. So

Which means it's time to break out the sewing machine! And that i have to learn how to use a double needle. One of the more unexpected gifts i've gotten from my mom (there's been a few that i wondered about but have come in exceedingly handy) was a Viking sewing machine. So i'm going to put that to good use tonight and in the next week to alter my maxi dress into a sundress with straps, fix a couple article of clothes that need repair, and in general have fun.

This will be my first time working with a double needle (aka Twin needle). I'll let you know how it goes. Could be a complete disaster.

Solo flight

Last Monday feels like a month ago. So much has happened.

Most notably was the phone call i got at noon on Monday from Boyfriend Jon.

His grandmother who hasn't been doing well for a while, took an abrupt turn for the worse. Within five hours, Boyfriend Jon was on a plane headed for his hometown. He let me know that he had landed, and when he arrived at his parents house, but obviously there was a lot more going on, and he wasn't able to communicate with me.

We talked infrequently and briefly. But i did hear a lot in that short amount of time. Jon's family, both by blood and not circled the wagons around his grandma during her final days. They surrounded her with stories, played Hawaiian music for her (she's Hawaiian), called those people that couldn't make the trip, and said their goodbyes. It seemed more like a joyous celebration of her life than an anguish filled gathering mourning her.

I was only able to meet her once, and she was recovering from something and staying with Jon's family while i visited. She seemed very imposing, and i was nervous about meeting her. Some of her facial expressions left me wondering if i had done or said something wrong but after a while i realized she was just thinking. Once i got over my initial trepidation, i realized she was a warm and had a great sense of humor. She was just happy being with her family and having the Food Network on 24/7. There were points when i was talking with her that i could see her eyes twinkle and a small part of her younger and more lively self showed through. I wish i had been able to know her as Boyfriend Jon knew her, but at least i got to hear her side of the stories about him as a kid. That was highly entertaining. I was so glad to have met her and talk with her and i know her approval of me made Boyfriend Jon very happy.

She died with family by her side on Wednesday. The funeral won't be for a couple weeks when they can get everything arranged. Boyfriend Jon and I will be making the 14 hour drive south to California for the funeral, then turning around and coming right back home.

Boyfriend Jon came home to me on Friday night While he had been gone, i was hardly inactive. I started cutting the wood for the media stand i intend to build. I put the shelves that had been in my pantry at my last place in the outdoor storage area so that we could make better use of the space in order to store our camping gear and other miscellaneous stuff. I hung out with my sister, and much to his surprise, i cleaned the entire house including re-folding all my clothes so they sat in the shelves better. I even managed to fix the vacuum which was smoking and making a really bad smell. I think that took a load off his shoulders when he came in because he just looked at me all blissful and said, very clearly relieved,...."you cleaned".

We missed each other a lot though. Saturday, he treated me to a date day complete with breakfast, a movie and dinner, then we curled up and watched Lady and the Tramp, a movie neither of us had seen in at least a decade. I was so happy he was home, i think i must have said it at least a dozen times. It's not that i'm incapable of taking care of myself or that i need him there to give my life purpose, but i'm amazed that in so short a time, I've grown accustomed to having him there that i long for him when he's not, and cling to him when he gets back.  I'm also very glad he's not leaving for another full week at the end of this month again.

Family Tree book

I've never been good at figuring out what to actually call the mother of my third cousin once removed. (or something like that). To me they're all aunts and uncles and cousins. I may have never heard about them before, but they're still family. Many of them are simply fragments of stories my father launches into when he's had a glass of wine or two.

So i was greatly surprised when i found out that i not only had an Aunt Anita...but that she was compiling a family tree. Since i identify most with my father's side of the family (mom's were never really in contact until i was much older), i was eager to see pictures of my whole family all the way back to our roots in Italy.

The book was 100$ (yikes!) But well worth the money. My Aunt did a superb job and uncovered all sorts of stories that aren't wild yarns. I had never before seen many of these pictures.

Among many other things i learned:

• My Great Grandmother's name was Maria Concetta (but she went by her middle name)
• My Great Grandfather married her cause she was pregnant but they stayed together for 45 years
• My grandfather (their first surviving child) made the trip across the Atlantic between Italy and New York a total of 5 times. It would have been six but he was turned when he was 4 back because of being ill. 
• My grandfather married my name-sake grandmother who was a housekeeper for my great grandfather. 
• much to my displeasure, her name was misspelled throughout the entire book. They kept leaving off the E at the end of Anne which she spent a lot of time teaching me how to spell our name so it became important to me. 
• I come from a long line of swarthy, meaty, voluptuous women who are not afraid of getting into a bathing suit at the beach just because they have some jiggly areas. 
• We've always been hard working, close knit, and with serious family resemblance passed down. 

Great Grandma waving for the camera

Grandma and Grandpa wedding picture

Left to right: My dad, Grandpa, Uncle Manny, Uncle Nick, Grandma

Left to right: Uncle Manny, Grandma, Uncle Nick, Aunt Eilieen, Grandpa, Aunts Maria, Julianne, Michelle

I am a Female Carpenter

After trying to do a Google image search for Female Carpenter, Woman Carpenter, woman wood worker, female furiture builder and various other similar searches. I have come to the realization that the internet has no idea what those titles mean. Replace female/woman for male/man and you get plenty of images. 

But 90% of what does come up for the lady version...is downright insulting. 

I AM A FEMALE CARPENTER

As a hobby...I build beautiful furniture, using a variety of tools, math and reasoning, and techniques that have taken years to learn and develop. I am still learning and will always admire good craftsmanship.

I realize this a is 99% male dominated field, and have the utmost respect for masters of this craft regardless of their sex. 

THESE ARE NOT FEMALE CARPENTERS

They are models wearing costumes and holding props. 

Note there isn't a glue wipe, speck of sawdust, band-aid from a splinter, on her perfectly braided hair or perfectly selected clean clothes. Also...lady, you're going to stab yourself with the pencil pointed that way. And you! close your mouth unless you want it filled with sawdust! Save that look for a porno...if you still have limbs for it after you've been holding the saw like that running. 

Being a female carpenter doesn't mean i look like Paul Bunyan without a beard, never shave my legs, endeavor to be a lumberjack, live in the woods, or crack nuts with my toes. 

It doesn't mean i'm a man hater, ball buster, lesbian, or a body builder. 

NOR does it mean I consider Ikea directions a way to build furniture and can only do so with my low power pretty pink tool set that's sized for a child while wearing a push up bra and a thong.

(Note: Nothing against pink tools, just think you pay extra for less power)

It also doesn't mean that with proper training...these women above couldn't become carpenters. 

I realize in a male dominated world, hot pinup women are the easy way for guys to even think about tools and women in the same sentence. Sex always sells. I get that.

But I've worked damn hard to become a carpenter to the point where friends, master-craftsmen, my father and complete strangers are impressed by the quality, design and care put into every single piece i create. 

I'm proud to be a craftswoman who can look at particle board ikea items with distain and know i can make something better for cheaper, that will last for generations. 

AND I MAY MAKE THEM WHILE WEARING A THONG BUT AT LEAST THE THONG IS UNDER MY STAINED, PAINT SMUDGED, RIPPED, and SAWDUST COVERED

WORK PANTS!!!!!!!!!

This is me (for real) at work. 

Arranging

It's been a busy few weeks since my last post. I think out of probably 100 boxes, we're down to maybe a dozen. Most of those items are things that we're not entirely sure where to put because we don't have the furniture item that they will go into set up yet.

My carpentry hobby hasn't been put into use yet because we're still planning on how to fit everything necessary in the few things i have to build. We're pretty much set on our new media stand design which will house all our various electronics for the main room from the sub woofer to our modem while hiding all the wires from immediate view. Also in the works is a new desk that will fit both of us considering there's a 10 inch difference to our heights, not to mention a huge difference in our preferences on desks. Jon likes his arms low, i like mine high; he leans forward, i lean back; his mouse is on the left and mine is on the right; he puts the chair all the way up, i put the chair all the way down or my toes barely brush the floor. It's a conundrum.

Slowly we're learning how to adjust to our new living situation. Thankfully thus far, disagreements have been relatively small and we've worked through them by each giving a little ground.

On Saturday, we braved Ikea first thing in the morning. We got there when the cafe was open, but before the big crowd of people Actually, it was a total ghost town. And breakfast? I gotta tell you: 5$ for a filling breakfast for two! How they keep those prices so low is beyond me. Do they get the chickens to lay their eggs in modular form? Square instead of round to reduce waste of space???

Really...it's mind blowing in this day and age of 10$ coffee based drinks.

We went in looking for a sleeper sofa that would serve as guest sleeping plus an escape when one of us is sick or snoring badly.

We found one that seemed to work for us, but the fabric options were kind of ho-hum. It was definitively industrial and designed to stand up to millenia of wear and tear, but it was about as soft as burlap. But since brown was the best option, we went to talk to the sales lady. While i was talking to her, i happened to put my hand down and felt soft and semi fuzzy. I looked down and saw the same couch, but with an oatmeal colored corduroy-esque cover. I asked her if it was available on the sleeper sofa and she said "Yes, and that blue option over there" So i quickly called Jon over and we molested the couch for several minutes before deciding on the dark nighttime blue couch. (Which...this picture does absolutely no justice as to how wonderfully luxurious the couch is)

So shortly there after, after much grunting, cursing, yelling, struggling, straining, and amazed looks from neighbors....we got the couch and the rest of our loot into the apartment. While Boyfriend Jon still jokes about us having primary color couches (Blue, Red and Green), i thin the effect of having a rich red and a dark cobalt blue look wonderful together. Especially once i figure out where i put my dark cobalt colored blanket. That must be in a box still to be opened.....somewhere....